cheater cheater where'd you meet her

kkchisholm

Lucky me I have to read about family therapy. The chapters I am reading are all about divorce, affairs, and cheating. Just out of curiosity...and since its anonymous

EDIT- I forgot about both: cheated and been cheated on.

goheels05

On our current S/O, or ever?

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cheater-cheater-whered-meet-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:864f32da-132b-4ab1-9b57-36e46a6f8c1dPost:caa94df4-5e7b-4cfc-bc55-95a420c6db8f">Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her</a>:
[QUOTE]On our current S/O, or ever?
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

I didn't even think of this because I guess I assumed if you're marrying someone you haven't cheated on them, but I guess you never know.  I cheated on one boyfriend in the past because I was immature and didn't know how to get out of the relationship, but I can't imagine cheating on FI.

Moneypenny424

I cheated on my previous boyfriend a few times.  I should have just gotten out of the relationship, but didn't.

tannymcgee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cheater-cheater-whered-meet-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:864f32da-132b-4ab1-9b57-36e46a6f8c1dPost:7354ed4f-8aca-40f1-a760-ede4c0e81a44">Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her : I didn't even think of this because I guess I assumed if you're marrying someone you haven't cheated on them, but I guess you never know.  I cheated on one boyfriend in the past because I was immature and didn't know how to get out of the relationship, but I can't imagine cheating on FI.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

me too, exactly this

kkchisholm

Whichever heels. Oh btw I think look like Cuttey from House a lot.. just younger.

MeaghanandMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cheater-cheater-whered-meet-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:864f32da-132b-4ab1-9b57-36e46a6f8c1dPost:d3c13ed1-7e43-495a-a3b6-3dcaf4bb9880">Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her</a>:
[QUOTE]I cheated on my previous boyfriend a few times.  I should have just gotten out of the relationship, but didn't.
Posted by Moneypenny424[/QUOTE]

This.

I know Mike has never cheated on anyone.

jasmineh7777

I think the definition of cheating also varies. Is cheating just sex? Can it be a kiss? Or just an emotional affair?

baystateapple

I clicked "other" because there were multiple cheaters.  My first boyfriend cheated on me with two women: his ex and another girl who he eventually left me for because he thought she would sleep with him and I wouldn't (she turned him down cold when she found out he had a girlfriend the whole time.  Hilarious).

Second boyfriend told me that he was single, but was actually dating someone else (and living with her) the whole time -- I didn't know this because we were in a LDR and he always came to visit me, since I didn't have a car at school.  One of my friends found out what was going on and told me.  I dumped him and never looked back.

I have never cheated, and never could.

tidetravel

There should be a third and fourth option:   I've cheated and been cheated on (different relationships) and He and I both cheated (within same relationship)

kkchisholm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cheater-cheater-whered-meet-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:864f32da-132b-4ab1-9b57-36e46a6f8c1dPost:3f1b8ed3-f166-4b4b-98cc-3b1da8641772">Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the definition of cheating also varies. Is cheating just sex? Can it be a kiss? Or just an emotional affair?
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

I think cheating is whatever it means to you. If you think kissing is cheating then it's cheating even if someone else only thinks sex is cheating.

shellydiane820

I've never cheated, but I've been cheated on. 

goheels05

Thanks KK!  An old reg on here, DaniB, used to tell me that as well. 

I've cheated in past relationships but never on my husband.  Like others have said, I should have just got out anyway--I already had one foot out the door and was ready to leave. 

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cheater-cheater-whered-meet-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:864f32da-132b-4ab1-9b57-36e46a6f8c1dPost:3f1b8ed3-f166-4b4b-98cc-3b1da8641772">Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the definition of cheating also varies. Is cheating just sex? Can it be a kiss? Or just an emotional affair?
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

Mine was heavy making out, no sex, some emotions.

I tend to look very severely on anything (kissing, emotional affair, sex...) and would be devastated if FI did any of those.  I have to say, and judge away, if FI had a drunken one-night stand and felt horrible and knew he'd never do it again, I wouldn't even want to know because I would <em>want</em> to get past it, but I don't think I actually could.  A long term affair or it happening multiple times would be another story.

Moneypenny424

I'd never had sex with any of the guys I'd cheated with.  One of the cheating situations was basically a full-blown relationship.  Previous boyfriend and I were long distance and he broke up with me while I was studying for the bar.  Most of the relationship with the other guy happened after the breakup, but it definitely started before that.

After we got back together and were no longer long distance, I made out with another guy a few times.  Perfect relationship on paper (people called us the black Ken and Barbie ) =/= perfect in actuality.

kkchisholm

I am in the same boat as everyone else pretty much. Should have left.
I never told him though..

Did you guys tell the guy?

AdeleDazeem

I've never cheated on my fiance.

In college, a good friend of mine cheated on his girlfriend with me for several months.  It was right under her nose.  I was in college, young, and the foolishness of it all was fun, but to look at her was heartbreaking.  I would never do that to someone again and I'm still pretty ashamed of my behavior.

MeaghanandMichael

I actually don't think I have ever been cheated on... to my knowledge anyway. But, even if I was, I don't think I cared about those relationships before Mike enough to be that upset by it.

laurenclaire1386

I've never cheated on FI, but I have with other boyfriends. It took me a long time to understand that being honest with someone (and possibly hurting them) was much less hurtful than lying and staying in it when I knew I needed to get out.

It sounds terrible, and I acknowledge my terribleness, but I knew FI was the one because he was the only person I've dated that I didn't want to cheat on.

Moneypenny424

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cheater-cheater-whered-meet-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:864f32da-132b-4ab1-9b57-36e46a6f8c1dPost:2167098f-a32f-4797-b3e0-f115b11ea6e6">Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her</a>:
[QUOTE]I am in the same boat as everyone else pretty much. Should have left. I never told him though.. Did you guys tell the guy?
Posted by kkchisholm[/QUOTE]

Nope, never told.  Mr. Penny knows that I did this, but the ex has no idea.  My mom knew what was going on at the time and she said to me, "Some things go to your grave with you."  She was absolutely right in this case.

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cheater-cheater-whered-meet-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:864f32da-132b-4ab1-9b57-36e46a6f8c1dPost:2167098f-a32f-4797-b3e0-f115b11ea6e6">Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her</a>:
[QUOTE]I am in the same boat as everyone else pretty much. Should have left. I never told him though.. <strong>Did you guys tell the guy?</strong>
Posted by kkchisholm[/QUOTE]

No, I didn't.  I think he suspected, but I didn't feel the need to rub salt in the wound that was our crappy relationship.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cheater-cheater-whered-meet-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:864f32da-132b-4ab1-9b57-36e46a6f8c1dPost:bb687a18-69d4-4222-96fd-769ff8227e80">Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her : I think cheating is whatever it means to you. If you think kissing is cheating then it's cheating even if someone else only thinks sex is cheating.
Posted by kkchisholm[/QUOTE]

This.  I've always felt like cheating is anything you do with another person that you wouldn't feel comfortable telling your significant other.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to Re: cheater cheater where'd you meet her:
[QUOTE. Did you guys tell the guy?
Posted by kkchisholm[/QUOTE]

Nope. I broke up with them, or they broke up with me and I never saw a need to tell them. Seems like useless cruelty to me. Why add insult to injury?

MeaghanandMichael

(people called us the black Ken and Barbie )
HAHAHA, oh Money I missed you

I also never told the guys. I am sure they had an idea. I think they had a hard time getting upset though because I was always very very loose in my definitions of relationships because I hated these kind of confrontations. I was young, wild, and liked it that way. Then I met Mike (and cheated on my bf before Mike with Mike) and it all changed

nda_roxybabe

I've never cheated and never been cheated on (as far as I know and I'm pretty sure)

tidetravel

Cheated and been cheated on.

And, no.  I never told, although I'm sure it was suspected.

laurenclaire1386

I'm pretty sure my high school BF cheated on me. He broke up with me the day after Valentine's Day, and it was really obvious that he wanted to do it before then, but waited for Valentine's Day. Which was beyond stupid to me, and I called him on it. Then he had another girlfriend, like, the next day.

squirrly

I was cheated on by my ex, but I didn't find out until after I broke up with him for being a douche.

In past relationships, I have become interested in someone else, ended things, and moved on.  Nothing physical when it wasn't supposed to happen.  But I suppose some people would consider it an emotional affair, although as soon as I considered it to be anything that would constitute a threat to my existing relationship, I tried to be stand-up about it.  To me, that's a sign that what you're in really isn't working for you.

kkchisholm

I had a guy cheat on me.. I literally found a girl in his bed, wearing the PJs I WORE when I slept there... and he claimed and claimed he didn't do anything. (He ignored my phone calls all the night before) and then he begged me to stay. No way.

Anyone been cheated on and stayed? Or cheated and stayed?

Nebb

Ive cheated in many of my past relationships, but at the time I didnt view it as cheating I viewed it as getting what was mine - the relationship was either falling apart or heading there fast, I thought I was being cheated on or some other reason. For some reason it was all very justified in my head at the time. Technically I did "cheat" on my husband when we were just dating, one offs and then I was seriously "seeing" someone at the same time as him. Meh.

arbolita

I did other.  Prior to Mr. Arb, most of my other relationships weren't serious, so I dated multiple people at once.

I was also the other woman at one time.