Bachelorette Party Invitation Wording

rbmojo1

I'm the MH at a wedding in Las Vegas and we are planning on throwing a bachelorette party there.  There will be approximately 20 ladies invited (who will already be in LV at the time of the party).  What we're wondering is how do you word the invite to make it clear the invitee has to pay their own way?  I think it's fairly normal to pay your own way, but I don't want to end up footing the bill at the last minute.  Suggestions?

[Deleted User]

Phone calls. Much more casual.

rbmojo1

With the exception of the bride's mother, neither of us have met any of the other women (we're from all over the country).  When we asked for contact information (including emails & phone #s) we just got mailing addresses.

dumdumfroggie

I wouldn't put anything on the invitation itself about cost.  However, if you'd like, you can include a letter with the invitations just to give people an idea of the costs.  A breakdown of sorts.  (I'm assuming you're talking about hotel costs?) Let invitees know if they have any questions to give you a call.

rbmojo1

The total cost of the night is $1080 and it includes limo, 4 course prefix dinner, 2 clubs with bottle service.  The $1080 is for the ENTIRE group, so the more people that go, the cheaper it is.  We can have up to 50 people, but I honestly don't see it being more than 15 or 20.  The invitations have the "itinerary" so to speak on the back and I wasn't sure if I should put something to the effect of final pricing TBD.  As I stated in my previous post, we don't know any of the girls, so even though we (other bridesmaid and me) think it's obvious you pay your own way, we're not sure what their norm is.  I've asked the mother of the bride to help get the word out to the people she knows, but that's only about 50% of the list (including us).

dumdumfroggie

I would include that information in a letter.

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-invitation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:88f83514-22a5-40b6-9de4-83af5007e473Post:c27ae858-3a3e-4a5d-a5c2-86dcde9d4b64">Re: Bachelorette Party Invitation Wording</a>:
[QUOTE]The total cost of the night is $1080 and it includes limo, 4 course prefix dinner, 2 clubs with bottle service.  The $1080 is for the ENTIRE group, so the more people that go, the cheaper it is.  We can have up to 50 people, but I honestly don't see it being more than 15 or 20.  The invitations have the "itinerary" so to speak on the back and I wasn't sure if I should put something to the effect of final pricing TBD.  As I stated in my previous post, we don't know any of the girls, so even though we (other bridesmaid and me) think it's obvious you pay your own way, we're not sure what their norm is.  I've asked the mother of the bride to help get the word out to the people she knows, but that's only about 50% of the list (including us).
Posted by rbmojo1[/QUOTE]

<div>So if only 10 people go, then it's $108 each?  I would have a problem with this as a guest.  Don't get me wrong, I have no problem paying my own way, but I don't dig paying for people who don't even show up (which is essentially what happens when the cost goes up if fewer people attend).</div>

smartlypretty

I think you ought to figure out a max "price" per person and include this in a letter in the invite. For example, $100 each if 10 people go and then just collect less per person if you have more people go. This might mean that you as hosts will have to eat some of the cost if only like 7 people show up. It's just, if I was coming as a guest, I would need to know what I was paying beforehand and not having to throw in extra money as a surprise when I show up but a bunch of girls bail out like an hour before it starts. 

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-invitation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:88f83514-22a5-40b6-9de4-83af5007e473Post:c27ae858-3a3e-4a5d-a5c2-86dcde9d4b64">Re: Bachelorette Party Invitation Wording</a>:
[QUOTE]The total cost of the night is $1080 and it includes limo, 4 course prefix dinner, 2 clubs with bottle service.  The $1080 is for the ENTIRE group, so the more people that go, the cheaper it is.  We can have up to 50 people, but I honestly don't see it being more than 15 or 20.  The invitations have the "itinerary" so to speak on the back and I wasn't sure if I should put something to the effect of final pricing TBD.  As I stated in my previous post, we don't know any of the girls, so even though we (other bridesmaid and me) think it's obvious you pay your own way, we're not sure what their norm is.  I've asked the mother of the bride to help get the word out to the people she knows, but that's only about 50% of the list (including us).
Posted by rbmojo1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Did you consult everyone invited to see if they'd be okay with the expenses of a 4 course dinner, limo, and bottle service?  If not, then I think it's really shitty to expect people to chip in for stuff that they had absolutely no say in, especially when it's dependent on the number of people that actually attend.</div><div>
</div><div>If it was individual expenses (ie, they can order whatever they like based on their budget, they can take a cab or bus if they can't afford the limo, and they can just pay cover instead of bottle service if it's not in their budget), then I think it's fine to expect everyone to just cover themselves, but once you start planning group expenses, you really need to clear it with everyone first before booking to make sure everyone is okay with the amount.</div><div>
</div><div>I think the best way to handle this if you want to keep everything as you have planned is make a really high estimate of the number of people that will attend.  For example, if you think you'll likely end up with 15 - 20 people, then base the price on 20 people, so you can inform everyone that the night will run everyone about $54.  Then if you only get 15 people that attend, then you need to keep everyone's 'expense' at $54 and you need to cover the difference.  You shouldn't punish everyone because you planned something so expensive and not enough people showed to help break up the cost.

</div>

Meegles4

I agree with Jemini. I think this is a case where you need to be up front about the cost. When I hear "pay my own way" I think "I'll have to buy my own drinks", not "I'll have to go in on a limo and bottle service.

I'd do an e-vite to keep things casual -- even a regular ol' e-mail works fine -- and list out the plans and approximate cost for the evening (going with a high estimate is good so people are prepared). Then, people can intelligently choose whether or not they want to participate. FWIW, when I was told I'd have to pay $50 for a b-party to include limo, etc., I decline the party unless it's a very close friend.

Personally, I'd also get the money ahead of time from those that RSVP "yes". Otherwise you will definitely be left holding the bag at the club when the bottles are delivered. You're also probably going to have to pay the limo ahead of time and you could end up covering the whole thing if people either no-show or show up without paying. If it turns out more people come than you planned and everyone "overpaid" based on your estimates, you can always give folks some cash back when they show up that night.

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful

The last few bachelorette parties I have been invited to were pretty casual through evite. They also listed out what the activities would be and the amount expected per person. At least in my circle, it's understood that the less people the more the price might go up, but on evite you can see who all has RSVP'd, so that can help guests have an idea. Or you could give estimates, like if 20 people go it's this much pp and if 15 people go it's this much. Not knowing these ladies, it's a little harder to know perhaps what they could afford to do, but personally I have never been asked if I could afford what was being planned. If it's going to be too much for me I just decline.

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-invitation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:88f83514-22a5-40b6-9de4-83af5007e473Post:67171cb0-f3fc-4d0d-8bb8-66038ed00228">Re: Bachelorette Party Invitation Wording</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Jemini. I think this is a case where you need to be up front about the cost. When I hear "pay my own way" I think "I'll have to buy my own drinks", not "I'll have to go in on a limo and bottle service. I'd do an e-vite to keep things casual -- even a regular ol' e-mail works fine -- and list out the plans and approximate cost for the evening (going with a high estimate is good so people are prepared). Then, people can intelligently choose whether or not they want to participate. FWIW, when I was told I'd have to pay $50 for a b-party to include limo, etc., I decline the party unless it's a very close friend. <strong>Personally, I'd also get the money ahead of time from those that RSVP "yes".</strong> Otherwise you will definitely be left holding the bag at the club when the bottles are delivered. You're also probably going to have to pay the limo ahead of time and you could end up covering the whole thing if people either no-show or show up without paying. If it turns out more people come than you planned and everyone "overpaid" based on your estimates, you can always give folks some cash back when they show up that night.
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]

Agreed, I also meant to mention this. especially since you aren't friendly with the people you are inviting, it's not like you would feel comfortable having to track them done or ask multiple times for money.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I would insert a small card and tell them what is included, then say, "We anticipate the total cost to be between $55 and $75 per person. We will contact attendees after the RSVP date with the final number." You might want to indicate that it won't be any MORE than $75 per person - or $100 or whatever. I think it's a pretty good deal, honestly. And if they can't swing it, they can find something else to do.

phfiely

Agree with above. Honestly, these women are all going to be in Vegas I'm pretty sure everyone knows that spending $50-75 or even $100+ on a night out there is a good deal...including dinner and bottle service?! I would be so excited you arranged all of this. If people decide it's too expensive when you give them a price range, they can choose not to go. I don't see anyone balking at the price when entrees at restaurants in Vegas are consistently $25+, bottle service starts at like $400/bottle at even some of the less popular clubs, etc.

rbmojo1

Based on what the bride has told me (and she knows everyone involved), it is assumed that since everyone is flying to Vegas they will be planning on going out to eat & partying just about every night they're there.  We are hoping to keep this under $200 per person including their meal (typically $25+), drinks (in Vegas they're almost always $10 each or above), Limo, 2 club entrances ($20/each) and bottle services.  It will be even better if we keep it under that, obviously.  The bride is aware of the price range and believes all invitees will be comfortable with it.

My intention is to get an accurate RSVP and then inform people what the cost is and to collect the $$ prior to the night out.  So really, my biggest struggle is to ask for the $$.

I think I'll take the suggestion of saying our goal is to keep the night under $200 per person, but the final cost is dependent on the number of people attending.  I guess I'll just have to include it with the invite (whether it's a paper invite or an evite).  I hate asking for money, but neither of us (the other BM) can afford to get stuck with the entire bill ourselves.