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Wedding Etiquette Forum
rbmojo1
member
Bachelorette Party Invitation Wording
I'm the MH at a wedding in Las Vegas and we are planning on throwing a bachelorette party there. There will be approximately 20 ladies invited (who will already be in LV at the time of the party). What we're wondering is how do you word the invite to make it clear the invitee has to pay their own way? I think it's fairly normal to pay your own way, but I don't want to end up footing the bill at the last minute. Suggestions?
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Re: Bachelorette Party Invitation Wording
With the exception of the bride's mother, neither of us have met any of the other women (we're from all over the country). When we asked for contact information (including emails & phone #s) we just got mailing addresses.
[QUOTE]The total cost of the night is $1080 and it includes limo, 4 course prefix dinner, 2 clubs with bottle service. The $1080 is for the ENTIRE group, so the more people that go, the cheaper it is. We can have up to 50 people, but I honestly don't see it being more than 15 or 20. The invitations have the "itinerary" so to speak on the back and I wasn't sure if I should put something to the effect of final pricing TBD. As I stated in my previous post, we don't know any of the girls, so even though we (other bridesmaid and me) think it's obvious you pay your own way, we're not sure what their norm is. I've asked the mother of the bride to help get the word out to the people she knows, but that's only about 50% of the list (including us).
Posted by rbmojo1[/QUOTE]
<div>So if only 10 people go, then it's $108 each? I would have a problem with this as a guest. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem paying my own way, but I don't dig paying for people who don't even show up (which is essentially what happens when the cost goes up if fewer people attend).</div>
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[QUOTE]The total cost of the night is $1080 and it includes limo, 4 course prefix dinner, 2 clubs with bottle service. The $1080 is for the ENTIRE group, so the more people that go, the cheaper it is. We can have up to 50 people, but I honestly don't see it being more than 15 or 20. The invitations have the "itinerary" so to speak on the back and I wasn't sure if I should put something to the effect of final pricing TBD. As I stated in my previous post, we don't know any of the girls, so even though we (other bridesmaid and me) think it's obvious you pay your own way, we're not sure what their norm is. I've asked the mother of the bride to help get the word out to the people she knows, but that's only about 50% of the list (including us).
Posted by rbmojo1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Did you consult everyone invited to see if they'd be okay with the expenses of a 4 course dinner, limo, and bottle service? If not, then I think it's really shitty to expect people to chip in for stuff that they had absolutely no say in, especially when it's dependent on the number of people that actually attend.</div><div>
</div><div>If it was individual expenses (ie, they can order whatever they like based on their budget, they can take a cab or bus if they can't afford the limo, and they can just pay cover instead of bottle service if it's not in their budget), then I think it's fine to expect everyone to just cover themselves, but once you start planning group expenses, you really need to clear it with everyone first before booking to make sure everyone is okay with the amount.</div><div>
</div><div>I think the best way to handle this if you want to keep everything as you have planned is make a really high estimate of the number of people that will attend. For example, if you think you'll likely end up with 15 - 20 people, then base the price on 20 people, so you can inform everyone that the night will run everyone about $54. Then if you only get 15 people that attend, then you need to keep everyone's 'expense' at $54 and you need to cover the difference. You shouldn't punish everyone because you planned something so expensive and not enough people showed to help break up the cost.
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I'd do an e-vite to keep things casual -- even a regular ol' e-mail works fine -- and list out the plans and approximate cost for the evening (going with a high estimate is good so people are prepared). Then, people can intelligently choose whether or not they want to participate. FWIW, when I was told I'd have to pay $50 for a b-party to include limo, etc., I decline the party unless it's a very close friend.
Personally, I'd also get the money ahead of time from those that RSVP "yes". Otherwise you will definitely be left holding the bag at the club when the bottles are delivered. You're also probably going to have to pay the limo ahead of time and you could end up covering the whole thing if people either no-show or show up without paying. If it turns out more people come than you planned and everyone "overpaid" based on your estimates, you can always give folks some cash back when they show up that night.
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[QUOTE]I agree with Jemini. I think this is a case where you need to be up front about the cost. When I hear "pay my own way" I think "I'll have to buy my own drinks", not "I'll have to go in on a limo and bottle service. I'd do an e-vite to keep things casual -- even a regular ol' e-mail works fine -- and list out the plans and approximate cost for the evening (going with a high estimate is good so people are prepared). Then, people can intelligently choose whether or not they want to participate. FWIW, when I was told I'd have to pay $50 for a b-party to include limo, etc., I decline the party unless it's a very close friend. <strong>Personally, I'd also get the money ahead of time from those that RSVP "yes".</strong> Otherwise you will definitely be left holding the bag at the club when the bottles are delivered. You're also probably going to have to pay the limo ahead of time and you could end up covering the whole thing if people either no-show or show up without paying. If it turns out more people come than you planned and everyone "overpaid" based on your estimates, you can always give folks some cash back when they show up that night.
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]
Agreed, I also meant to mention this. especially since you aren't friendly with the people you are inviting, it's not like you would feel comfortable having to track them done or ask multiple times for money.
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Based on what the bride has told me (and she knows everyone involved), it is assumed that since everyone is flying to Vegas they will be planning on going out to eat & partying just about every night they're there. We are hoping to keep this under $200 per person including their meal (typically $25+), drinks (in Vegas they're almost always $10 each or above), Limo, 2 club entrances ($20/each) and bottle services. It will be even better if we keep it under that, obviously. The bride is aware of the price range and believes all invitees will be comfortable with it.
My intention is to get an accurate RSVP and then inform people what the cost is and to collect the $$ prior to the night out. So really, my biggest struggle is to ask for the $$.
I think I'll take the suggestion of saying our goal is to keep the night under $200 per person, but the final cost is dependent on the number of people attending. I guess I'll just have to include it with the invite (whether it's a paper invite or an evite). I hate asking for money, but neither of us (the other BM) can afford to get stuck with the entire bill ourselves.