Wedding Etiquette Forum

To Send or not to Send that is the question

Hello gals

We are on the final countdown of the guest list, from the list A group several people have let us know they're not going to the wedding. This was just from sending them the Save-the-Date, our wedding is at Puerto Rico and we live in FL. I was wandering what's the proper etiquette for Save the dates, if someone says "I can't go," should I still send them the formal invitation?

Please reply!!!!

Sary
"Marriage is the ultimate gesture of love amongst two people, make it last!"

Re: To Send or not to Send that is the question

  • Yes, still send them an invitation for sure.
    You never know when someone's plans might change!

    Also, if you can get away from doing A/B lists, you should. Being a B list guest sucks, and it's almost always obvious.
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  • edited July 2010

    Eh I wouldn't care if I were on someone's B list. I understand that's just me though; I'm pretty hard to offend. :)

    To answer the Q, still send an invite.

  • Oh also, is your username your real name?
    You might want to create a new name that isn't as "revealing".
    image
  • I don't think she meant A-list.  I believe the 'a' shouldn't have been capitalized and OP was referring to 'a group of people'
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_send-not-send-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8c3638cc-82c2-47c0-a790-e13270350d86Post:d8eea787-da69-4917-936c-a844e6a77f7d">Re: To Send or not to Send that is the question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think she meant A-list.  I believe the 'a' shouldn't have been capitalized and OP was referring to 'a group of people'
    Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]
    "We are on the final countdown of the guest list, from the list a group several people have let us know they're not going to the wedding."
    That sentence doesn't make any sense. :/


    I would still send them, people can change their minds or their plans. And only send out one group of invitations. It's great that you aren't easily offended, but you need to think about how your guests will feel and if they will be offended. The general consensus on this forum is that people on here would either be offended or just think it is rude and decline, anyway. That's just a bit of advice, if you really do want to go the A/B list.
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  • If you send an STD, you must also send an invitation, no matter what they have told you about their plans.
    Married 10/2/10
  • Thanks everybody! Yes that's my name it's shorten though. That's ok I don't mind having that username. Thank you all for the wonderful responses this really helps. Happy Planning!
    "Marriage is the ultimate gesture of love amongst two people, make it last!"
  • I'm usually all about the etiquette, but the people who said "no" to the STD all live in Greece and aren't coming. They can't afford to. And they all thought that WAS the invitation. So we're not sending them an invitation. We already know their plans aren't changing.
    9.17.2010
    planning

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  • You bring a great point, actually my wedding will be at Puerto Rico and we live in Central Florida. That was my main concern since it's a "destination wedding"- although most people are already there. That's where I was born and raised. So I was thinking about all my friend who've already expressed they can't go. However, I think it's best to just send them the formal invitation.
    "Marriage is the ultimate gesture of love amongst two people, make it last!"
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