Wedding Etiquette Forum

Unpopular Opinion Friday

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Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:7d98d72c-1865-46e9-a6ae-5a2a9cdd2936">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : It's difficult for a reason.  I have noting against immigration, heck I come from a family of immigrants  heck I just immigrated myself, but we did it the legal way, so can everyone else.  People talk about Americans wanting instant gratification all the time, well apparently so do the illegals.  Wait in line like everyone else. I suppose I wouldn't even be so opposed to it if the money the earned stayed in the states.  I believe the figure I heard was in the billions.  Imagin how much stronger our economy would be if that money earned in the statees had stayed in the states.
    Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

    People talk about how hard it is to get citizenship in the US, but I'm right there with aMrs. As long as there IS a process, I don't feel bad that you have to wait. I don't see why we should take anyone and everyone, either.

    For a while, I entertained the idea of moving to New Zealand (long story), and I looked into their citizenship processes. Even though I have a college education and work experience, etc, New Zealand wouldn't WANT me. They only take people who can contribute in some area of need they have. So unless I married someone from there, I couldn't become a citizen. Yet the US is supposed to take anyone who crawls in? BS.
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  • edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:c3224f12-d49d-49b1-bf98-79228f4a8fe5">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In regard to the illegal immigrants from Mexico, it's not just to escape their life there. A great deal of it is about drug and human trafficking. The level of violence they have brought to cities lying on the border is outrageous, and that's when I really have the problem. I live near Houston, which is a hotspot for immigrants from Mexico, and it's just crazy how many there are. When the economic status is healthy, or healthier, it's more of a vicious cycle. When there are jobs, nobody wants the landscaping job or the construction job, but there's a need, so the immigrants are happy to take them. <strong>I just wish they could crack down on the ones bringing problems into our country.</strong> The other ones I don't mind as much. It's the ones with the unnecessary violence that irk me most. That may not have made sense. I may have just contradicted myself. It's a rough subject.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

    Right, I agree with this. But the difficulty of regulating this brings out generalizations that all immigrants are dangerous and/or harmful to the country, etc., and then they all get punished with blanket policies and raids. The people I've known who are here illegally fall more in the category of trying to build a better life, supporting family back home, working 24/7 and learning a new language and culture (like msmery described), and are still subject to deportation. Most are from South American countries and have families back home. The process of obtaining extended greencards or citizenship is difficult to navigate and arduous, and discrimination seems to be the default attitude with which applicants are received. Those are just my observations.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • May I just say, for the record, that this is one of my favorite posts I think I've ever participated in on this board.

    I like hearing people's opinions, and I like that instead of throwing torches, people are actually reading, considering, questioning and apperciating other people's opinions.

    Now, let's hold hands and sing kum-bi-yah.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:c9cf592a-5ec7-40ad-ab82-2ecbf1ebc5b7">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Right, I agree with this. But the difficulty of doing regulating this brings out generalizations that all immigrants are dangerous and/or harmful to the country, etc., and then they all get punished with blanket policies and raids. The people I've known who are here illegally fall more in the category of trying to build a better life, supporting family back home, working 24/7 and learning a new language and culture (like msmery described), and are still subject to deportation. Most are from South American countries and have families back home. The process of obtaining extended greencards or citizenship is difficult to navigate and arduous, and discrimination seems to be the default attitude with which applicants are received. Those are just my observations.
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    I understand and agree with this. It just gets frustrating from time to time.

  • edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:9d0e485a-1cb6-40f4-b49d-d8ad61c494ec">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : This isn't because all immigrants are dangerous. It's because illegal immigration is illegal . No matter how good your intentions are when you break they law, you are still breaking the law. And it's not illegal because we're selfish and mean. There is a process, however long, to become a citizen of this country and thus be entitled to the same rights as a legal citizen. I'm not a total heartless hardass, but wanting to be rewarded for doing something illegal just doesn't go over with me at all, no matter how truly "nice" of a person the immigrant may be. It's still illegal.
    Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

    I get what you're saying TJ. I don't think your opinion makes you a heartless hardass either, and I realize I am probably coming off as a bleeding heart, "let's give people some leniency because they're well-intentioned and hardworking" supporter. Maybe I am. Logistically, yes, it is illegal and they are breaking our country's laws. It is just difficult for me to reconcile that with the actual process of "doing it the right way" IRL that doesn't seem to be equally accessible to people. And part of being accessible is for people to be educated about it. I know being born and (mostly) raised in the U.S., I have a nice base of knowledge about it, but wouldn't expect that others would.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:f3020783-5a95-4536-b38c-ed62ae9c9e07">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Not that I don't agree with you, but that would be near impossible to enforce. What about people with an IQ of 23? Similar to what mocha said, other than possibly providing jobs, they really CAN'T contribute to society, but I don't think that means we should deport them. Not that that's what I think you were saying, <strong>I'm just pointing out why it's such an issue in general to determine who deserves to be here and who doesn't.</strong> I also completely agree with TJ. Good luck or not, if you are born here you automatically ARE entitled to the rights set forth by our constitution.
    Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it could become a slippery slope very easily. I guess I'm thinking more along the lines of people who are self-hating Americans, abuse the legal system, and don't contribute to society when they have the prior resources in place to do so. Obviously these are subjective criteria, and I'm not taking away anyone's right to challenge our country's policies (we wouldn't be what we are if no one ever did that), but it's something that bothers me when people do this. And again, I'm not placing all illegal immigrants on a pedestal. There's just not much of a way to know or decide who is who, just a lot of opinions and perceptions unfortunately.

    Amrs, I giggled at your stepbrothers comment. Also, my mom is an immigrant as well, and she had a hard time of it even though she was married to my American dad, because she was a North Korean refugee as a kid in South Korea. The military was involved in their marriage and her coming over here, because they wanted to make sure she wasn't a danger to the U.S. I totally understand that, but it's just crazy to think about my mom that way.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • alixzafirisalixzafiris member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:ae490817-b761-4156-956b-84f4d2ac671d">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Alix, my experience is this: the main issue is that White is not a minority, especially on college campuses (in the U.S. anyway). So it can seem like the college is one big Caucasian Club, and I imagine it could easily be perceived as threatening or questionable to create "redundant" groups. I think culturally-based clubs are more easily accepted because they are branches off of the main student populations, and exceptions to the general ethnic makeup on campus.
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    I can see that, however, I don't agree at all with the notion that it is only acceptable for visible minorities to be able to freely share their racial culture with inquiring minds. I find everyone fascinating and don't at all have an issue with A-A/ SE Asian etc. clubs because any and all history and culture enthrall me, but it does irk me that because "white" is not a minority it's immediately deemed racist but when a similar club to share pops up, it's not. As with any other race, there are fascinating histories that I think should be able to be freely shared with anyone who wishes to learn about them, just because white is a perceived "majority" race and thus, populates I dunno, the chess club and the knitting club etc., doesn't mean that they/we should be excluded from being able to form a club to share with anyone who wishes to join, our racial history in the same way "minority" races are allowed.
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  • And that was a HUGE mess of run-on sentences, for which I apologise profusely but am too lazy to go back into and edit.
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  • Rhodesign, I actually think IVF is OK in many cases. The problem is that we implant multiple embryos too often b/c folks don't want to have to pony up another $15k for another cycle, so instead insurance companies have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to deal with the complications of multiple births. There's a very long (but very interesting) article on IVF in the NY Times from a couple of months ago:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/11/health/11fertility.html



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:5f3b724d-d471-4150-a057-425406f09712">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In  And I don't really think German is a race so that's a completely different situation, it's an origin and a culture, not a "race".
    Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

    I would agree, but for those of you who dont get this take several german history classes and you'll understand, u can be from germany, or your grandparents...yadayada yada but the idea of being German in regards to a race doesnt make historical sense
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  • JK10910JK10910 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2010
    RE: Natural selection and medication, etc.  I think this is an interesting point--but something that hasn't been addressed is whether or not we altered the environment to be a catalyst for some of these diseases.  So, let's say we did.  How does natural selection apply then?

    ETA:  I realize this is confusing and catalyst wasn't the best word.  What I'm trying to convey is not that altering the environment CAUSED these diseases, but increased their occurrence. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:cf08f21a-b2b6-4064-a9a6-7fe3501cc1a3">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree rho. That's one of those things I feel "survival of the fittest" about. I would never try to take away the experience of being a parent from anyone, but I'm with you, I don't think that my particular genes are that important if nature doesn't think so, and would much rather adopt than go through IVF.  I also agree that many women hate this opinion, and I respect that they have a different opinion, but nature does things for a reason sometimes.
    Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

    Agree times 100. FI and I are already in agreement that if we can't concieve, we'll choose adoption over IVF.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:c545ea07-8cb8-4061-b903-a827a55ad86f">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I can see that, however, I don't agree at all with the notion that it is only acceptable for visible minorities to be able to freely share their racial culture with inquiring minds. I find everyone fascinating and don't at all have an issue with A-A/ SE Asian etc. clubs because any and all history and culture enthrall me, but it does irk me that because "white" is not a minority it's immediately deemed racist when a similar club to share pops up - as with any other race, there are fascinating histories that I think should be able to be freely shared with anyone who wishes to learn about them, just because white is a perceived "majority" race and thus, populates I dunno, the chess club and the knitting club etc., doesn't mean that they/we should be excluded from being able to form a club to share with anyone who wishes to join, our racial history in the same way "minority" races are allowed.
    Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this completely.

    Also, FWIW, where I went to college, Caucasians were in the minority.  About 75% of our student body was made up of minorities.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:c545ea07-8cb8-4061-b903-a827a55ad86f">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I can see that, however, I don't agree at all with the notion that it is only acceptable for visible minorities to be able to freely share their racial culture with inquiring minds. I find everyone fascinating and don't at all have an issue with A-A/ SE Asian etc. clubs because any and all history and culture enthrall me, but it does irk me that because "white" is not a minority it's immediately deemed racist when a similar club to share pops up - as with any other race, there are fascinating histories that I think should be able to be freely shared with anyone who wishes to learn about them, just because white is a perceived "majority" race and thus, populates I dunno, the chess club and the knitting club etc., doesn't mean that they/we should be excluded from being able to form a club to share with anyone who wishes to join, our racial history in the same way "minority" races are allowed.
    Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

    Absolutely agree with this. I don't think the problem is people like you and what your intentions would be in starting such a club, but how others might (and have, as rho stated so well) abuse this action. Honestly, I think white guilt is a factor too in how unmotivated Caucasian people seem in creating pride groups for themselves. It may be stereotyping, but historically it seems that hate has been the most successful motivator to bring white people together to celebrate themselves. We should definitely try to change this perception, as I don't think it accurately reflects who we are, but I think it will be a difficult and time-consuming process. And requires the trust of minorities and other White people.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:eddcf173-6989-4ee7-8d4e-7981a61e6911">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Again, it would have to be the intent of the group. How many white groups were started to be inclusive or to share white culture and not to somehow make a racist statement? Probably not many. If there were, I'd have absolutely no problem with it. But again, another reason these groups don't tend to exist in the same way black student groups, asian student groups, etc. do is because there isn't an inherent need for it. If you're at most universities in the US, the majority of the students are white. Why would they need a club to feel connected when everyone around them is just like them? I think of these clubs as cultural and not racial, so German would be just as appropriate.
    Posted by rhodesign[/QUOTE]

    I think this is absolutely fascinating; partly because of the three post-secondary institutions I've studied at, two were predominantly "non-white" and we were a <em>visible </em>minority (but that's not at all uncommon in Toronto) so I've not taken into account the differences in both the US and the rest of Canada, basically because I live in the biggest multi-cultural society in the world and grew up in one of the most racially-segregated so I apologise for the oversight, though I think we've all been using blanket statements and that, in certain cases, we're all right while in others we're all wrong.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:59bd98c1-7eed-4482-b3a3-55b81a2ec446">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I agree with this completely. Also, FWIW, where I went to college, Caucasians were in the minority.  About 75% of our student body was made up of minorities.
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

    Sorry about that, betrothed. I realized that I was generalizing when I was describing the ethnic makeup of colleges in the U.S., because there are exceptions to this.



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    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • re; natural selection etc.  Humans are animals and every animal has a predator.  Ours is turning out to be teeny tiny microscopic germs/diseases
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:6d0b5ccb-aa05-4cbd-8202-086b793947db">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]RE: Natural selection and medication, etc.  I think this is an interesting point--but something that hasn't been addressed is whether or not we altered the environment to be a catalyst for some of these diseases.  So, let's say we did.  How does natural selection apply then?
    Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

    I guess my opinion is that we can alter the environment, but not really "nature," which I apparently think of as a godlike thing. And I think natural selection still applies, because if we're causing issues, then it's our fault if it comes back to bite us. Which of course leads to sticky territory with things like the earthquakes in Haiti and Katrina and such, because while I do not at all think that those people brought it upon themselves, humanity as a whole may have. I really don't know how much we've altered the environment. In the words of the crab man from My Name is Earl, I think it's a bit narcissistic to think we could have that much impact on the whole planet, but even if we do I still think it's nature's way of evening everything out and making sure that the strongest (species, people, cultures, whatever) do survive to make the world a better place. Even if that means killing off half of the population, what needs to happen to keep the Earth stable for its lifetime WILL happen, whether we are the catalyst or not.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:2e7d2125-cd4e-4362-96c1-39e7e2e80657">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Absolutely agree with this. I don't think the problem is people like you and what your intentions would be in starting such a club, but how others might (and have, as rho stated so well) abuse this action. Honestly, I think white guilt is a factor too in how unmotivated Caucasian people seem in creating pride groups for themselves. It may be stereotyping, but historically it seems that hate has been the most successful motivator to bring white people together to celebrate themselves. We should definitely try to change this perception, as I don't think it accurately reflects who we are, but I think it will be a difficult and time-consuming process. And requires the trust of minorities and other White people.
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    You said that so much more eloquently than I did. What I was going for was that I think that for sharing culture purposes, any race should be equally able and encouraged to form such a club, but that when one is proposed by white students etc. the first thought (by everyone) is that it's going to have supremecist connotations, and I think that by assuming that, it perpetuates the whole issue.
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  • <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:dc545130-1f57-47bd-afeb-5ff50dcf590a">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I wonder this every day and am afraid to say it out loud. I mean on the one hand I support cancer research because clearly it would help so many people if we found a cure, but just in general the way science is progressing and the fact that so many parts of the world are already overpopulated, I can't help but wonder what will happen in the future.  Nature will find a way to cut us back down one way or another, I'm sure of it.
    Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

    Bacteria are starting to do a fine job, as evidenced by the resurggence of the TB bacteria and especially the strains that are immune to all but a very few very expensive antibiotics.  That's what it's going to come down to.  Bacteria will limit our population, by being immune to our drugs and by our subsequent overpopulation creating a fantastic breeding ground for them.  There will be a tipping point, and we will lose to some extent.  Bacteria have been pretty good at surviving and keeping things in check for billions of years, they'll do the same to us.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:6d0b5ccb-aa05-4cbd-8202-086b793947db">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]RE: Natural selection and medication, etc.  I think this is an interesting point--but something that hasn't been addressed is whether or not we altered the environment to be a catalyst for some of these diseases.  So, let's say we did.  How does natural selection apply then? ETA:  I realize this is confusing and catalyst wasn't the best word.  What I'm trying to convey is not that altering the environment CAUSED these diseases, but increased their occurrence. 
    Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]


    Oh see now you gotta go and get all deep on us! =)

    In simplistic terms--I think it's all cyclical and adaptable. I don't think of it as natural selection per se, at least not 100%, but either way--I think the whole cycle of things adapts to what gets thrown at it. If we altered the earth (which obviously we have) we have certain natural repercusions to that---more people living close=communicable diseases. Changing the atmosphere with toxins=weather alterations.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:65482daa-5fb9-4869-b71c-171676150cc3">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : You lost me on this one.  I see it like the French club or the Knitters of America.  The members of these clubs share a common interest.  You can't be excluded from joining.  Join.  I wouldn't care if someone charted a German American Honor Society (and those probably do exist) - it's just bad when it becomes exclusive. I think the statement is a little misdirected.  These groups (at least to the best of my knowledge) are not advocating the overthrowing of Caucasians.  JMO.
    Posted by bbyckes[/QUOTE]

    Oh, I don't think they are advocating the overthrowing of Caucasions or intend to be racist in any way shape or form.  I understand the stated purpose.  But, I believe, these groups serve to foster relationships between students of a particular race or ethnicity, further developing the "black clique" groups of friends.  How many of us recall looking around the cafeteria in high school and seeing the black table, the asian table, the hispanic table, etc?  I think race/ethnicity based groups foster segregation, and I believe that furthers racism. 

    I live in the south where we are 20 years behind on everything, but most adults that I know (of any race) belong to a social group made up primarily of people of their own race.  I think we're taught to socialize with "our own kind" in a lot of places, and I think it's a big problem.  I don't think that racism can ever be eliminated until we can be a little more colorblind. 

    I understand that you all are saying that these groups are open to all, but I've never been invited to join any of these groups, even by my friends who are members.  Perhaps the groups at the schools I've attended are different, or I was just not aware.  Either way, I don't think that the majority of these groups are integrated.  I get the stated purpose of developing pride in roots, I just think there is a big side effect, and it bothers me. 

    EDIT: I cannot figure out why all my posts are centered.  I tried, and I know it's obnoxious.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:3c99e0c0-ea2a-4d68-a055-289774a417c8">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Sorry about that, betrothed. I realized that I was generalizing when I was describing the ethnic makeup of colleges in the U.S., because there are exceptions to this.
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    No problem.  I completely understand where you are coming from, because in the majority of the US Caucasians are not in the minority.  It's not normal for us to have to think in terms of being in the minority.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:cd1f670d-cc3e-4bae-af91-f65f21df1a86">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : You said that so much more eloquently than I did. What I was going for was that I think that for sharing culture purposes, any race should be equally able and encouraged to form such a club, but that when one is proposed by white students etc. the first thought (by everyone) is that it's going to have supremecist connotations, and I think that by assuming that, it perpetuates the whole issue.
    Posted by alixzafiris[/QUOTE]

    :) Eye to eye. If only we could get rid of those pesky conclusion jumpers, this would be so much easier.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • momofaydenmomofayden member
    500 Comments
    edited January 2010

    I think it's ok to not send an invitation after sending a STD if the circumstances have changed so that you really can not accomodate them or your relationship with them has changed.  If you are already having to eliminate things from your budget due to circumstances, why can't you eliminate some people, like the second cousin of the neighbor of your mom from 15 years ago that she just HAD to invite. 

    I don't think all BM's have to do is buy the dress and show up sober on the wedding day.  I haven't asked a thing of mine, including going with me to look at their dress but atleast moral support and a 'hey do you need any help' would be nice even if i decline. 

    I don't understand people that say IVF is God's will to help them have a baby. 

    I don't understand how a parent can drop their child off on the first day of school speaking zero english and expect the school to accomodate them.

    I don't understand the reality shows about obesse people or little people.  I have no desire to watch a show about a 18yr who weighs 800 plus pounds who plays video games all day and his mom makes him enough food for a small population everday.  Then they have a special show when they fork lift him out of the house to 'save his life'. Really?!  Also, why are the lives of midgets so interesting to deserve their own show. They live like everyone else except they are shorter. I don't get it.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:2e7d2125-cd4e-4362-96c1-39e7e2e80657">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Absolutely agree with this. I don't think the problem is people like you and what your intentions would be in starting such a club, but how others might (and have, as rho stated so well) abuse this action. Honestly, I think white guilt is a factor too in how unmotivated Caucasian people seem in creating pride groups for themselves. It may be stereotyping, but historically it seems that hate has been the most successful motivator to bring white people together to celebrate themselves. We should definitely try to change this perception, as I don't think it accurately reflects who we are, but I think it will be a difficult and time-consuming process. And requires the trust of minorities and other White people.
    Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

    I was in Germany during a big soccer tournament and it was insane. Germans LOVE supporting their national team, but at the same time there are a lot of people in Germany who are really uncomfortable with any display of nationalism or large crown waving German flags. You know, the guilt thing.

    I also agree that a "Caucasian Club" would come across as exclusive and not inclusive of various European-based cultures. I also have similar thoughts when people say, "BET? What about WHITE entertainment television?" Dude, have you looked at other channels? Most people ARE white. (In the US.) US culture is centered around caucasian Americans, who are the majority (if not for long). Hell, 50 years ago women couldn't buy makeup made for any sort of skin but shades of white. You can't tell me that the image people have in their head of an average American isn't a white guy.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:6d0b5ccb-aa05-4cbd-8202-086b793947db">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]RE: Natural selection and medication, etc.  I think this is an interesting point--but something that hasn't been addressed is whether or not we altered the environment to be a catalyst for some of these diseases.  So, let's say we did.  How does natural selection apply then? ETA:  I realize this is confusing and catalyst wasn't the best word.  What I'm trying to convey is not that altering the environment CAUSED these diseases, but increased their occurrence. 
    Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

    Everything in cycles.  There have been more than a few major extinction events that nearly wiped out all life on earth.  I have a feeling that when they happened, the life that was dominant at the time was on the verge of overpowering it's environment.  So nature hits the reset button, sort of.  I think it's necessary to keept things viable, so the earth as a whole living entity survives, even if a large number of the species on it die out.

    Kind of like declaring bankruptcy, it's a terrible financial blow to yourself at the time, but the idea is to give you a chance to start over and survive.

    Kind of what you're getting at?  I'm off to the bar for a drink and lunch, so I'll be back later.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:a5f42545-e8fa-4889-8dfb-b453b5d86b21">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it's ok to not send an invitation after sending a STD if the circumstances have changed so that you really can not accomodate them or your relationship with them has changed.  If you are already having to eliminate things from your budget due to circumstances, why can't you eliminate some people, like the second cousin of the neighbor of your mom from 15 years ago that she just HAD to invite. 
    Posted by momofayden[/QUOTE]

    Because the point of STDs is for people to save the date.  That means ask off from work, make travel arrangements and secure accomodations.  How pissed off would you be if you did all the above and ended up not invited?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:a5f42545-e8fa-4889-8dfb-b453b5d86b21">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE] I don't think all BM's have to do is buy the dress and show up sober on the wedding day.  I haven't asked a thing of mine, including going with me to look at their dress but atleast moral support and a 'hey do you need any help' would be nice even if i decline.  Posted by momofayden[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with you on this. It seems like some people believe BMs are supposed to be their personal servants for a year leading up to the wedding.  A lot of knotties go the other extreme and say that all BMs have to do is show up. 

    I thinks BMs should offer to help out with wedding prep activities if they are local (and not crazy busy or have a newborn, etc).  One of your best friends/closest relatives is getting married. I don't think its unreasonable for a BM to spend a couple hours addressing envelopes or folding programs. I also think BMs should throw a shower (when appropriate) if no one else steps up to do it.
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