Wedding Etiquette Forum

Unpopular Opinion Friday

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Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:c433b4ce-14a5-4578-a53f-bb32dcdf9e06">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Everything in cycles.  There have been more than a few major extinction events that nearly wiped out all life on earth.  I have a feeling that when they happened, the life that was dominant at the time was on the verge of overpowering it's environment.  So nature hits the reset button, sort of.  I think it's necessary to keept things viable, so the earth as a whole living entity survives, even if a large number of the species on it die out. Kind of like declaring bankruptcy, it's a terrible financial blow to yourself at the time, but the idea is to give you a chance to start over and survive. Kind of what you're getting at?  I'm off to the bar for a drink and lunch, so I'll be back later.
    Posted by mocha beans[/QUOTE]

    Well, really more of what I was getting at was that I think if we have altered things in such a way that it becomes necessary for us to alter it further to fix it (ie not natural carcinogens causing cancer which then needs medication and treatment), you can't really say that doing the research and medicating is interferring with natural selection.  At least in a pure viewpoint, IMO.  For the record, as I've said before, I'm a NS proponent, but this particular argument doesn't make sense to me.

    Then again, to be fair, we alter the environment just by being here and there are many things you can argue that we cause or alter, which we then go on to interfere in the NS process.  I was just addressing this particular thing because it was brought up. 

    And, I think I'm talking in circles and have effectively confused myself. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:36ab1a51-4abd-4fe4-942c-b3323df18d7f">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I was in Germany during a big soccer tournament and it was insane. Germans LOVE supporting their national team, but at the same time there are a lot of people in Germany who are really uncomfortable with any display of nationalism or large crown waving German flags. You know, the guilt thing. I also agree that a "Caucasian Club" would come across as exclusive and not inclusive of various European-based cultures. I also have similar thoughts when people say, "BET? What about WHITE entertainment television?" Dude, have you looked at other channels? Most people ARE white. (In the US.) US culture is centered around caucasian Americans, who are the majority (if not for long). Hell, 50 years ago women couldn't buy makeup made for any sort of skin but shades of white. You can't tell me that the image people have in their head of an average American isn't a white guy.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    Yep, I was nodding the whole time reading your post. It has taken us awhile to get to this point, and it will take more time to get to a better one regarding this topic.

    Alright, I'm off to run errands. Ladies, thank you sincerely for a really thought-provoking discussion. And thanks to tlv for starting this up. We should tell the Nesties they're doing UO wrong. ;) Just kidding.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:fad85cc8-eff9-46e5-a319-dd59b223d876">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Because the point of STDs is for people to save the date.  That means ask off from work, make travel arrangements and secure accomodations.  How pissed off would you be if you did all the above and ended up not invited?
    Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

    Ditto... That is also why we did not sent STD out to all of our friends.  Relationships change and I didn't want to be locked into someone because I send an STD.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • tlv this was an amazing thread to read and I have found myself repeatedly nodding my head to your posts.

    My .02 -

    I was a due paying member of our Black Student Union in college.

    I like, support and enjoy dollar dances.

    Cash bar is ok in my book, although we were fortunate enough to provide a full bar for our guests.

    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:d5d8c22c-27a3-48fe-bf2e-3641c99c82a0">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]While we're feeling the thread love, can I just say that our 'unpopular' opinions are much more well thought-out and intelligent than many of the ones I read on thebump/nest or whatever? =)
    Posted by rhodesign[/QUOTE]

    Thumbs up to this.  I love this thread.
  • I understand the STD "thing" and do agree with you to a point. 

    But i also realize that plans/life change, especially in this economy.  If someone has to downsize their wedding due to circumstances out of their control like loosing a job, I am not going to lose sleep over being univited.  i am lucky enough to be thought of in the first place, so if the couple has to make some harsh deicsions, then so be it.  I try to be understanding in those situations.  If I was driving, saves me the energy and I can just not take the day off.  I wouldn't 'uninvite' someone who already bought a plane ticket though.
  • Well several people have popped in and started back at page one.  Hopefully they will also be contributing.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:75a73185-6254-4f4c-bd16-58eb3520d9ee">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : Oh, I don't think they are advocating the overthrowing of Caucasions or intend to be racist in any way shape or form.  I understand the stated purpose.  But, I believe, these groups serve to foster relationships between students of a particular race or ethnicity, further developing the "black clique" groups of friends.  How many of us recall looking around the cafeteria in high school and seeing the black table, the asian table, the hispanic table, etc?  I think race/ethnicity based groups foster segregation, and I believe that furthers racism.  I live in the south where we are 20 years behind on everything, but most adults that I know (of any race) belong to a social group made up primarily of people of their own race.  I think we're taught to socialize with "our own kind" in a lot of places, and I think it's a big problem.  I don't think that racism can ever be eliminated until we can be a little more colorblind.  I understand that you all are saying that these groups are open to all, but I've never been invited to join any of these groups, even by my friends who are members.  Perhaps the groups at the schools I've attended are different, or I was just not aware.  Either way, I don't think that the majority of these groups are integrated.  I get the stated purpose of developing pride in roots, I just think there is a big side effect, and it bothers me.  EDIT: I cannot figure out why all my posts are centered.  I tried, and I know it's obnoxious.
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    I live in Atlanta too.  I just moved here from the Los Angeles area.  Believe me you're view is skewed because you live in the South.  This city is predominantly black - there's no way to escape it.  It's a big adjustment even for me.  It was a big deal for me to send my son to a diverse school, but where we bought - it just really doesn't exist (on a grand scale anyway).  I get your point, but I just don't think the groups are causing people to segregate themselves.
  • I'ma jump on the thread-love bandwagon. This thread is awesome.

    MyNameIsNot - thank you for bringing up the "club" thing. I was raised to not see color, just humans, and I carry that mentality with me to this day. I hate it when people say things like this, but my two best friends are black and Chinese. HOWEVER, I disagree entirely with the whole affirmative action thing, and I despise the term "reverse discrimination" with a passion. As far as I'm concerned, there is no such thing as reverse discrimination. There is only discrimination. And it's all wrong in my book. Having said that, I think it's BS how often I've seen the idea of a white/European school club frowned upon. When DH was in high school, he wanted to start a European American club, since his school (and mine) had Black Student Union, Mecha (Latino/Chicano/Hispanic club), Asian club, etc. The school SHUT HIM DOWN. Hard. Wouldn't hear a word of it. Regardless of the fact that I'm white, that is discrimination and I think it's total bullshit.

    I also disagree with the whole "all a bridesmaid has to do is wear the dress and show up" mentality. Granted, I don't by any means think a bridesmaid should be a financial/physical slave (hell, I paid for 2 of my bridesmaids' dresses), but I also think that they should attend at least the big pre-wedding events. And as a friend, they should be there for emotional support anyway. You would want your best friend(s) to be there for you when it comes to anything that is important to you, so why is it any different when that person becomes part of a WP?

    I don't think Michael Moore is all that bad. I think it's pretty awful how so many people completely vilify the man. He's a propaganda artist, and he's good at his craft. I take everything he says with a grain of salt, but then again I take most everything I hear with a grain of salt.

    As far as the whole illegal immigration issue, it's not as easy as everyone seems to think it is to gain US citizenship. For one, I used to work for an immigration lawyer, and boy do people have to jump through some hoops AND pay out the ass  to get their citizenship. More importantly, my stepfather who I lived with since I was 3, was an immigrant. All he wanted was to provide for our family, and he seemed to get screwed at every turn. He worked 15+ hour days at crap jobs the entire time he was here, until he passed away 3 years ago. He couldn't even gain citizenship when he married my mother in '98. There's a lot of gray areas, and a lot of people who just straight up get fucked. So I don't like the whole "I can get citizenship, so why can't you?"

    Sorry, I can be long-winded.
    image
  • bbyckes, I don't know where in Atlanta you live, but is it a situation like Detroit, where the City is 90% black, but that's becuae the caucasians moved to the suburbs?
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  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:e535b45f-a46c-4fa5-b145-722ebe9124fe">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess my opinion re: illegal immigrants is unpopular. I feel that if your country is so corrupt or dangerous that you risk coming to the US under a freaking truck and make $4/hour in cash under the table, with no insurence, no unemployment benefits, no legal way to drive, nor car insurence, barely speak the language, and still manage to send money back home to those who are still stuck in your home country... well frankly, you're a better person than I am and I feel really bad for your situation.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I agree 100%.  And since I live in said corrupt country, I can tell you that class lines are drawn with a heavy brush stroke here and poor people DO NOT have the same opportunities to get ahead or "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" here. </div><div>
    </div><div>In Mexico, if you're born poor you'll die poor.  About 99% of the time.  Unless you leave.  </div><div>
    </div><div>And this may be unpopular but it's related:  I would never have married my husband if he were lower class (poor) and we were going to live here.  Not in a million years.  If we were going to live in the States, however, it wouldn't matter as much.</div><div>
    </div><div>EDIT:  Just want to make sure it's clear that we'd just live in the States if living here were so bad :)  See further explanation in post below...</div><div>
    </div>
  • This has been a lovely post to read.  I mostly lurk since I don't have time to come back and post over and over...

    I find it interesting that some people wrote "I'm not conservative..." but then wrote a very conservative viewpoint.  But in other posts on different topics, the same person then followed up with a very liberal viewpoint.

    It's refreshing and I wish more people would stop aligning themselves with one party, one mentatlity, etc...  Especially since the knee jerk response these days is that "conservative" and "republican" are dirty words.  Both sides have a point and many people carry both sides within them.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:925aedcc-4c23-4efb-8960-2a2fa186e8d9">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]bbyckes, I don't know where in Atlanta you live, but is it a situation like Detroit, where the City is 90% black, but that's becuae the caucasians moved to the suburbs?
    Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

    I'm not her, but I can answer that.  The city of Atlanta is around 65% black, while the metro area is much lower.  But it really doesn't matter.  There are something like 8 million people in metro Atlanta, but less than a million of them live in the actual city.  Go urban sprawl.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:77b490c7-6c5a-4be8-a1ce-589cc207e1e5">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]. When DH was in high school, he wanted to start a European American club, since his school (and mine) had Black Student Union, Mecha (Latino/Chicano/Hispanic club), Asian club, etc. The school SHUT HIM DOWN. Hard. Wouldn't hear a word of it. Regardless of the fact that I'm white, that is discrimination and I think it's total bullshit.
    Posted by pristinedemon[/QUOTE]

    This is the issue I'm having--why did he want to start to club? It sounds like he did to prove a point or be contrary and not because he truly felt a connection to his European heritage or to promote it's culture. THAT'S the issue people have with White clubs. It would be no problem (at least to me) if there was a specific, non-inclusive reason to do it.

    I don't quite agree that we have to be 100% colorblind to get past racism. In fact, we need to see our differences and embrace and understand them to get past racism IMO. Ignoring race or culture completely is to deplete the very thing that makes us great--diversity.
    image
  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:b2edfb41-ca2c-40fd-a62a-bacc3e8ca83c">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday :  I feel like without more of a backstory this comes off as marrying for money not love. Which I don't think is the case, I'm just confused without more details.
    Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>No problem.  If DH were poor, we wouldn't have heating (or cooling) in our house, hot water, access to a nutritious diet, the money to provide a good education for our children, etc.  Much less a car, vacations, etc.</div><div>
    </div><div>We'd be truly living on the edge.  And the chances of that ever changing would be slim to none.  It's nearly impossible to move up the ranks here.  </div><div>
    </div><div>If he were from a poor family, we'd be living in the States where you can get ahead despite your background.</div><div>
    </div><div>

    </div>
  • expat, you have a PM.
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  • I'm super late to this but:

    1.  I'm not opposed to cash bars if you can't afford an open bar.  Of course I'd prefer an open bar, but if the couple can't afford that, I'd rather have the option to buy a drink than not be able to get a drink at all. 

    2.  I don't care about gaps that much.  I've been to a few weddings with them, and they're really not that bad.  Most of the time people just go to a bar and chill for a couple hours. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:e535b45f-a46c-4fa5-b145-722ebe9124fe">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess my opinion re: illegal immigrants is unpopular. I feel that if your country is so corrupt or dangerous that you risk coming to the US under a freaking truck and make $4/hour in cash under the table, with no insurence, no unemployment benefits, no legal way to drive, nor car insurence, barely speak the language, and still manage to send money back home to those who are still stuck in your home country... well frankly, you're a better person than I am and I feel really bad for your situation.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    You just put this into perfect words. You are the one for health care right? Fabulous:)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:6389d5f9-3c0a-4707-967a-13d392f26728">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm super late to this but: 1.  I'm not opposed to cash bars if you can't afford an open bar.  Of course I'd prefer an open bar, but if the couple can't afford that, I'd rather have the option to buy a drink than not be able to get a drink at all.
    Posted by cocoreo3[/QUOTE]

    I agree. I'll still roll my eyes at a cash bar, but at least I get to drink.
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  • I am so FOR cash bars. I have never every been to a wedding with an open bar, and they were very nice weddings. Just onces the cocktial hour was open bar.
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  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:6a39ed44-e1e1-4cd1-9cc3-7829df5a284c">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : I figured thats what it was about. I used to work with a few people who came from Mexico and other southern countries but they would never really say how bad it was or wasn't there just that they liked America better. Completely unrelated, but in some of your wedding pics you look like Meg Ryan pre-plastic surgery scariness.
    Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't want to paint Latin America as pure misery, because it certainly isn't...  Many people live a lifestyle that's more cushy than the States, for example.  But many more don't :(  You have to be lucky enough to be born into it here.  And those people who have immigrated illegally are most certainly not the lucky ones, or they probably wouldn't have left.  </div><div>
    </div><div>People in the States have asked me when/if DH and I would be moving to Texas, for example.  They just assume that DH would be anxious to leave Mexico, and maybe that he even married me for a green card.  Which is hilarious!  We could move to the States - and sometimes I miss it and wish we would - but we're fine here.</div><div>
    </div><div>And that's funny what you said about Meg Ryan because people tell my mom she looks like her, but never me ;)  Thanks!</div><div>
    </div><div>EDIT:  aMrsin09 - YGPM, too :)</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:8396e055-6151-427c-81e0-6303c647ffb4">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : You just put this into perfect words. You are the one for health care right? Fabulous:)
    Posted by kkchisholm[/QUOTE]

    Indeed! I'll certainly respect others' opinions but I'm such a bleeding heart liberal. Not sure where it comes from. Maybe my grandparents, though they were more blue collar/FDR Democrats. (I'm also not a Dem, just a leftist!)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:63aca0f6-8a79-4f5b-9add-6113aeab887d">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : This is the issue I'm having--why did he want to start to club? It sounds like he did to prove a point or be contrary and not because he truly felt a connection to his European heritage or to promote it's culture. THAT'S the issue people have with White clubs.<strong> It would be no problem (at least to me) if there was a specific, non-inclusive reason to do it</strong>. I don't quite agree that we have to be 100% colorblind to get past racism. In fact, we need to see our differences and embrace and understand them to get past racism IMO. <strong>Ignoring race or culture completely is to deplete the very thing that makes us great--diversity.
    </strong>Posted by rhodesign[/QUOTE]
    IMO The bolded sentences are contradictory.  Why is it when European Americans want to get together and celebrate their culture they are automatically assumed to have ill motives, but when any other group does the same they are not?  Why are minorities afforded the benefit of the doubt, but Caucasians are not?
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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  • betrothed--the reason people get up in arms over white groups is basically because some ignorant asses ruined it. It's well understood and believed in this country that minorities face and have faced massive discrimination and that when they have groups to try and promote themselves and their cultures, it's pretty much okay with folks. Because white people are a majority and haven't faced discrimination on nearly the same level as others, groups that have formed have come across as being supremist (again, because of the asses who ruined it) so now people are alarmed by it. It sucks, but that's what I think is happening.

    I didn't contradict myself--all I was saying was that culture should be celebrated and diversity embraced, hence why I'm for groups promoting it.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:a5f42545-e8fa-4889-8dfb-b453b5d86b21">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, why are the lives of midgets so interesting to deserve their own show. They live like everyone else except they are shorter. I don't get it.
    Posted by momofayden[/QUOTE]

    (yea, you said a lot of stuff, but it's Friday, I get to pick and I pick this.)

    The point of the shows about little ppl is that they <em>don't</em> "live like everyone else except they are shorter."  The little person doctor from Houston (Jen Arnold on Little Couple, TLC) is under 4 feet tall, has had to have a bunch of surgeries that were kinda dangerous b/c she can't have anasthesia like a big person (her trachea could break ... or something), has to stand on a chair just to stir stuff in her kitchen, has to use mechanical assistance to drive, and pregnancy could kill her.  Plus, she's an accomplished pediatrician and neonatologist.

    They <em>try</em> to live as much like everyone else as possible, but have sometimes unexpected challenges in trying to do so.

    Just sayin.  :)
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:63aca0f6-8a79-4f5b-9add-6113aeab887d">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't quite agree that we have to be 100% colorblind to get past racism. In fact, we need to see our differences and embrace and understand them to get past racism IMO. Ignoring race or culture completely is to deplete the very thing that makes us great--diversity.
    Posted by rhodesign[/QUOTE]

    Maybe not 100% colorblind, but we need to see people for who they are, not how they look or where they come from.  I guess I feel like we are no where near integrated, and that's a big part of the problem.

    But I'm more of the "melting pot" is the solution camp.  I think we'd solve more problems if we all just intermarried and 100 years from now, the majority was interracial.
  • This is one of the best if not the best thread I have ever read on this board.  Thanks for making my Friday better.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinion-friday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fdcef65-d9a2-41d0-bd0e-a6f33aff5e04Post:63aca0f6-8a79-4f5b-9add-6113aeab887d">Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinion Friday : This is the issue I'm having--why did he want to start to club? It sounds like he did to prove a point or be contrary and not because he truly felt a connection to his European heritage or to promote it's culture. THAT'S the issue people have with White clubs. It would be no problem (at least to me) if there was a specific, non-inclusive reason to do it.
    Posted by rhodesign[/QUOTE]

    I'll admit, I worded that poorly. It sounded like I was saying DH was trying to start the club BECAUSE there were other cultural clubs on campus, and that's not what I meant. I haven't really asked him about his motives, I've just heard the story. Knowing DH, he probably was trying to illustrate the point that there is a double standard when it comes to these things. He's certainly not the type of person to do something like that in order to exclude anyone. Sorry for the confusion =)
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    edited January 2010

    I think that honeymoon registeries are fine as long as they're not asking for hotel rooms, airline tickets, transportation, and the other "basics".  I don't buy into the whole "one registry is okay but another isn't."  They're all telling you what the people want for gifts or asking for something. 

    I don't think parents should have a huge say in the wedding regardless of how much money they're putting in.  Picking things like the types of flowers or whatever, okay maybe.  But just because they're paying for the reception hall, doesn't mean they somehow get veto power on one hall because Mom doesn't like the layout, or veto power on the cake because Dad doesn't like chocolate.  The wedding is supposed to reflect the couple, not the couple's parents.  They already had their wedding.  Hopefully.

    I think that being a little plump is a good thing.  I was far more comfortable with my body at 150 than I was at 125.  I don't judge skinny women, but I don't buy into the whole "you must be toned/thin/slender to be pretty."

    I think that racial relations in America has become a joke.  I think that my people are becoming too quick to blame "the man" when sh*t goes south, and we're not taking enough responsibility to try and further ourselves and strengthen our community.  I think this is mainly coming from the younger generation, not so much the Baby Boomers or their next gen (except for morons like Revs Al and Jesse and Jeremiah Wright).  We've become too accustomed to yelling "racism!" whenever something happens, while expecting special treatment (like being able to have black TV channels, black beauty pagants, black sororities, black fraternities, black scholarships, etc) and then everybody flips their sh*t when a white guy wants to set up something for white folks only.  And throwing out the race card so much has made it difficult to deal with serious racial issues when they arise because it looks like we're crying wolf.  Again.

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    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

  • I'm so glad this thread continued whle I was gone. Nugget, I really respect what you've said on the racism issue. I feel the same way, but it''s the kind of thing that you're not allowed to say as a person who's white.

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