Standing for the bride?

KatWAG

I have recently learned that the Pastor at our church (Lutheran) does not allow people to stand when a bride enters and exits the church.  For some reason, I am very bent out of shape about this. I have been to a lot of wedding of varying denominations and everyone has always stood when the bride and FOB enter and when the bride and groom make their exit. I guess the Pastor believes that "you only stand for God." Has anyone else experienced this? Any ideas on how to best approach this? Or should I just get over it?

NOLAbridealmost

As a short girl I'd actually really like this as a guest. When people stand up I can never see what's going on.  I understand being disappointed though!

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_standing-for-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fef0151-f657-49a6-a85a-86f133e0905fPost:7369a9bc-ebd8-45d4-9449-40fdf6e284b2">Re: Standing for the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sounds like a pretty firm rule that she's not likely to bend on. It's probably something you'll have to get over if you want to marry t here. <strong>How will this be conveyed to your guests?</strong>  I'm used to standing when the bride enters so I'd feel awkward if I stood and then got told to sit down or something.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

This.  Will the pastor start yelling at everyone to sit down or will there be an announcement prior to the ceremony?  Most people are used to standing when the bride enters so I think this definitely needs to be addressed.

If you really want to get married there then you are just going to have to get over it, but if people standing for you is more important then ceremony location I would start looking elsewhere.

specialk84

I've been to a wedding like this before. There was a note in the program, and one of the ushers said something to me. 

KatWAG

Well i am absolutely getting married there. The invites are printed and I didn't sit through hours of pre-martial counseling for nothing!

But that is a very good point. I have no idea how it will be conveyed to everyone. And what if people don't stand for the entrance but in the excitement of the "you may now kiss the bride" people stand up. Will he yell at them to sit back down?

I don't feel comfortable questioning a pastor on how he conducts his service but i don't want our guests to feel awkward when half the people stand and half sit.

aragx6

^Just frame it as "I want to respect your wishes and ensure no one stands as I enter, but as this is fairly standard for our guests, I'm wondering how this will be communicated to our guests on the day of the wedding? Will you be making an announcement?" I don't think that's questioning; more just clarifying.

CFM102012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_standing-for-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8fef0151-f657-49a6-a85a-86f133e0905fPost:54ae2637-ab0d-41b8-83db-8f401a4cb73b">Re: Standing for the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm Lutheran, and have never heard of this from any Lutheran pastor. He sounds weird.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>Also Lutheran and I've never heard of this.  Are you ELCA, Missouri Synod or another branch?</div>

KatWAG

It is a Missouri Synod branch. I have never heard of this either and I have been to plenty of Lutheran wedding. This is why I am so confused and I dont know how to approach it. I honestly think its a rule he came up with on his own. To make it even weirder, when talking with him he seems pretty laid back. But I haven't brought up this topic. Should I bring it up? First I want people to stand when I come in and second, i dont want it to be awkward for everyone.

pearls687

At my first wedding, I wanted people to remain seated because there were three rows of pews and two aisles at the church.  If everyone stood, the people in the far row of pews wouldn't have been able to see.  There was a small asterisk note "guests will remain seated" under the Entrance of the Bride line item on the program.

Take two:  This time I am getting married outside and have one center aisle, but I would still prefer the guests to remain seated so that my groom and I can see each other as I enter.  However, I'm not having programs and an announcement to remain seated sounds kind of silly to me, so everyone will probably stand and we'll just see each other when I reach the "altar".