Please explain

JHellerud

If a couple jointly pays for the wedding, actually the groom putting more money into the wedding than the bride why is her name still first on the invitation?

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-explain-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:926710d0-e48e-4ff2-89e1-b5463a126a69Post:bb728e19-d10a-4007-97c5-e285e6d816e6">Please explain</a>:
[QUOTE]If a couple jointly pays for the wedding, actually the groom putting more money into the wedding than the bride why is her name still first on the invitation?
Posted by JHellerud[/QUOTE]

<div>Tradition.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>Honestly, it bothers me that a groom would want to try and pull out the "well <em>I</em> paid more money for our wedding than you so my name should be first" card.  Like really bothers me.</div>

Snippylynn

It should really bother you DNB because it's douchey.  DOU.CHEY.

mica178

Tradition.  Ladies usually come first.

Also, the couple is about to be married.  Why does it matter which individual put in more money when their lives are about to be merged?

LP11509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-explain-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:926710d0-e48e-4ff2-89e1-b5463a126a69Post:bb728e19-d10a-4007-97c5-e285e6d816e6">Please explain</a>:
[QUOTE]If a couple jointly pays for the wedding, actually the groom putting more money into the wedding than the bride why is her name still first on the invitation?
Posted by JHellerud[/QUOTE]

<div>Tradition, I guess?  Names on the invitation are meant to indicate who is hosting, not who paid the most money.</div>

JHellerud

He isn't asking me in fact he likes the tradition. It is me.. who likes his name first after all that he is doing to make the day magical. I just wanted to know what rules I would be breaking and for what reason.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-explain-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:926710d0-e48e-4ff2-89e1-b5463a126a69Post:94d38e90-9785-4731-b1bc-bd008fcbf03e">Re: Please explain</a>:
[QUOTE]He isn't asking me in fact he likes the tradition. It is me.. who likes his name first after all that he is doing to make the day magical. I just wanted to know what rules I would be breaking and for what reason. :)
Posted by JHellerud[/QUOTE]

Oh god.  This makes me feel all pukey.  My H paid for the entire wedding himself.  There wasn't much that could happen otherwise as I have only just started working after 4 years of unemployment.  Frankly, that's the most he could do for me considering I picked up my life and moved halfway around the world for him and his career. 

sarah0725

I don't know if putting his name first on the invitation will have the desired effect of having everybody look at it and go "Oh gosh, he must really be wonderful if his name is first!" I think most people would just be confused.

If what you want is to make him feel special, there are plenty of other ways to do that.

mica178

I'm going to pull a Kristin#s here and remind the OP that there's a difference between paying and hosting, and the names at the top of the invitation indicate the hosts, not who pays.  You and your FI are hosting your wedding together.  He's paying for more, but you're jointly hosting.  Having his name above yours will not indicate anything more to your guests, but it'd probably confuse them.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-explain-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:926710d0-e48e-4ff2-89e1-b5463a126a69Post:f0e0c7fe-0a65-4765-9021-4711ccf775a2">Re: Please explain</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know if putting his name first on the invitation will have the desired effect of having everybody look at it and go "Oh gosh, he must really be wonderful if his name is first!" I think most people would just be confused. If what you want is to make him feel special, there are plenty of other ways to do that.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

This.  I wouldn't think that he was some sort of awesome guy to have his name first on an invitation.  I would probably just be like "Heh.  That's different" and then forget about it.

kellyjellybelly

My H didn't pay for anything for our wedding.  I just put "kellyjellybelly invites you to celebrate with her as she marries some guy"

was that wrong?  I figured if there was a last minute substitute groom, I wouldn't have to reprint the invites.  

mica178

Sweet, kjb.

LP11509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-explain-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:926710d0-e48e-4ff2-89e1-b5463a126a69Post:9172fb28-3e2d-4519-a1c8-482d32fa85d8">Re: Please explain</a>:
[QUOTE]My H didn't pay for anything for our wedding.  I just put "kellyjellybelly invites you to celebrate with her as she marries some guy" was that wrong?  I figured if there was a last minute substitute groom, I wouldn't have to reprint the invites.  
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]

<div>Why didn't I think of that?!</div>

kellyjellybelly

Yeah, I B-listed his family, JIC.

barbie92

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-explain-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:926710d0-e48e-4ff2-89e1-b5463a126a69Post:9172fb28-3e2d-4519-a1c8-482d32fa85d8">Re: Please explain</a>:
[QUOTE]My H didn't pay for anything for our wedding.  I just put "kellyjellybelly invites you to celebrate with her as she marries some guy" was that wrong?  I figured if there was a last minute substitute groom, I wouldn't have to reprint the invites.  
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]
*like*

LP11509

Although, kbj - you should have but "some guy" first so that he would have to foot the bill.  Duh!

kellyjellybelly

Well, shiit.  I guess I'll just have to have a do-over.  

LP11509

That's the only logical thing to do! Can I be a bouncer at your redo?? I'll throw out anyone who doesn't bring a gift that covers their plate.

Mrs.B6302007

Is anyone else humming "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof or am I alone?

[Deleted User]

Definitely tradition.

I paid for most of the reception while H paid for the HM. We say that we paid for our own wedding and worded the invites as so.

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-explain-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:926710d0-e48e-4ff2-89e1-b5463a126a69Post:258f82a7-bab0-4012-9a6f-599a9f72aa59">Re: Please explain</a>:
[QUOTE]Is anyone else humming "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof or am I alone?
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

<div>I wasn't before, but now I am.  Grr.</div>

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-explain-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:926710d0-e48e-4ff2-89e1-b5463a126a69Post:da182869-0cd5-439b-a77c-93ef958072ee">Re: Please explain</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Please explain : I wasn't before, but now I am.  Grr.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]


Hee hee  =-D