Inviting guests with dates.... help!

Rangergirl

Hello ladies, I am in a bit of a situation at the moment and I am hoping those who know wedding etiquette (or at least get a concensus on how it looks) will be able to help.

My FI and I are on a bit of a budget for our wedding and have been given a much lower than normal head count to meet for our hall which is what allowed us to be able to afford it. Now it's time to send out invitations and we need to decide whether to allow people to bring a date or not. Originally our plan was to allow only those in "established" relationships to bring dates (aka bf/gf, engaged, married etc). However if we do that, some single brothers and sisters of those in relationships won't get to bring a guest which could make it weird. On the other hand if we invite everyone unmarried (or engaged) without a guest, we may have some very bitter people on our hands. We really cannot afford to invite everyone with a date so how do we tackle this issue properly?

While I am asking, one more thing... if we do go with not inviting dates and someone RSVP's with a date (this actually happened to us for our engagement party but we had enough cancelations for that, that we just let it go) how do we politely tell the guest that they cannot bring a date? Thanks ladies!!

Rangergirl

Sorry for the double post! My computer was giving me issues.

brilibby4

I think all guests in relationships should be allowed to bring dates.  Also, if someone is invited to your wedding and knows no other guests or is traveling far, it is nice to allow them to bring a date.  I don't think it matters if someone in a serious relationship brings their significant other and their sister is single and is not allowed to bring a date (but maybe I'm wrong about this?).

Also, if someone adds a +1 to their RSVP, simply call them and apologize and tell them the invite was only for one person.

Gismo123

I think it depends on the situation....I had never met my FI's cousin before but because we were engaged I was included on the invitation.  I think it's ok not to invite the SO if like someone else said they're the flavor of the week.  If it's a serious relationship or their engaged/Married I would for sure include the SO on the invite!

ev4149

I would also allow for a plus one if the person wouldn't know anyone else there.  I went to a high school friend's wedding, and the only people I knew were my FI and the bride and groom.  It would not have gone if I didn't have a date.

marissa_claire

I would allow a guest if they've been together a while - like six months or more is a reasonable amount of time to get serious and travel together.

You do need to give a guest to all that are engaged or married, otherwise, but those who have a BF or GF are up to your discretion. 

Rangergirl

Thanks for all your advice everyone. We are going to do guests for all those who have a long term significant other however we did agree no bf's necessary for under 18. I also loved the idea of addressing envelopes to specific people instead of "and guest" so people would realize we're not doing dates for everyone. You all helped very much!