Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion
Options

Now be honest

ILoveToRobotILoveToRobot member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
If you went to a wedding and heard this -->  "Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright III

and it was a very "fancy" not inexpensive wedding and you already had the pre existing thought that the bride came from a "rich" family. Would you judge the song choice?

The reason I'm asking is some of FI's friends think I come from a very rich family which isn't necessarily the case. I've always been very discreet about things but I think FI spilt the beans fairly early on in the relationship. I never told him not to tell anyone what my family does so it's not like he's a gossip but anyway I just don't want to be judged for it. Part of me feels like with that thought in their heads that they're also thinking I'm a spoiled brat. I've worked hard for everything in my life.

I don't know, I'm looking for a non sappy father daughter song and this is the closest I've come to one that works. I'm open to suggestions.
image
Report Reply to Post

Re: Now be honest

  • Options
    daffydilliedaffydillie member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_now-be-honest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:959a9a55-3a5b-438b-837d-a09b381e32f7Post:8c1b1a3e-b6c7-4344-ac57-31bbd72518c4">Now be honest</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you went to a wedding and heard this -- />  "Daughter" by Loudon Wainwright III and it was a very "fancy" not inexpensive wedding and you already had the pre existing thought that the bride came from a "rich" family. Would you judge the song choice? The reason I'm asking is some of FI's friends think I come from a very rich family which isn't necessarily the case. I've always been very discreet about things but I think FI spilt the beans fairly early on in the relationship. I never told him not to tell anyone what my family does so it's not like he's a gossip but anyway I just don't want to be judged for it. Part of me feels like with that thought in their heads that they're also thinking I'm a spoiled brat. I've worked hard for everything in my life. I don't know, I'm looking for a non sappy father daughter song and this is the closest I've come to one that works. I'm open to suggestions.
    Posted by ILoveToRobot[/QUOTE]

    I probably would not pay attention honestly. I just looked up the lyrics, I think you are looking too much into things. I thought there was a thread for not too wishy washy father/daughter songs that is not too old. I am going to try and find it. But I understand, I do not speak about what my mother's family does either or what I do.

    We are either doing "Stealing Cinderella" for my dad and I and a "family" dance to "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts. One is sappy and one is not so much. We are only "spotlighting" the family song. If that helps.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Nickie431Nickie431 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Mmm, if guests take the lyrics seriously, they could come away with the impression that you're spoiled.  Since this is a concern of yours, you may prefer to select a different song.  Truly, though, if you really like this song, most people don't pay much attention to lyrics unless they're littered with profanity or terribly suggestive.  If you do want to find an alternative, it need not be of the "Butterfly Kisses" variety.  Lots of love songs could describe the father-daughter relationship.  Best wishes!
    "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!" (Isaiah 43:1)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    willywally5willywally5 member
    First Comment
    I think the first verse could cause some eyerolls, but after that it's just cute ... 
    Do you really think people will pay that close of attention to the words and/or analyze it? I guess my thought on that is if they are the sort that do that, meh. Who cares what they think?

    Will the part about 'everything she knows, I taught her' bother your mom? Again, she'd have to be uber sensitive to care but some moms are. LOL.

    All in all, I think it's cute and lighthearted and fun. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    The first verse makes the daughter sound completely spoiled - everything she sees she wants and everything she wants she gets...?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveToRobotILoveToRobot member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_now-be-honest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:959a9a55-3a5b-438b-837d-a09b381e32f7Post:e7d758c1-8b8f-4e37-b5f4-5a20480199ac">Re: Now be honest</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think the first verse could cause some eyerolls, but after that it's just cute ...  Do you really think people will pay that close of attention to the words and/or analyze it? I guess my thought on that is if they are the sort that do that, meh. Who cares what they think?<strong> Will the part about 'everything she knows, I taught her' bother your mom? Again, she'd have to be uber sensitive to care but some moms are. LOL.</strong> All in all, I think it's cute and lighthearted and fun. 
    Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]

    This was a thought of mine as well lol. I don't think my mom would be offended but I think my mom had more to do with my bringing up than my dad did. The song was slow enough to dance to but not sappy enough to be akward. My dad and I slow danced at a cousins wedding for a father daughter dance and it was super weird to say the least. We both even had a few cocktails in us so... yeah... we aren't that close.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    I didn't read the lyrics, but I never pay attention to lyrics of songs when I first hear them, and many of your guests won't either. Most of them are paying more attention to the moment of the F/D dance than anything else, and TBH, your guests will watch, but they will also talk with each other, eat, etc. They're not going to stop to analyze your song choice.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveToRobotILoveToRobot member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_now-be-honest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:959a9a55-3a5b-438b-837d-a09b381e32f7Post:3154d51c-e889-422c-b121-695079815b92">Re: Now be honest</a>:
    [QUOTE]The first verse makes the daughter sound completely spoiled - everything she sees she wants and everything she wants she gets...?
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I know. I think the more I listen to it I think it's not appropriate for our dance.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveToRobotILoveToRobot member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_now-be-honest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:959a9a55-3a5b-438b-837d-a09b381e32f7Post:547d72f6-f52d-4720-9aca-6deda4e901e2">Re: Now be honest</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't read the lyrics, but I never pay attention to lyrics of songs when I first hear them, and many of your guests won't either. Most of them are paying more attention to the moment of the F/D dance than anything else, and TBH, your guests will watch, but they will also talk with each other, eat, etc. They're not going to stop to analyze your song choice.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

    This is very true. I never remember songs at weddings.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    willywally5willywally5 member
    First Comment
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_now-be-honest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:959a9a55-3a5b-438b-837d-a09b381e32f7Post:3154d51c-e889-422c-b121-695079815b92">Re: Now be honest</a>:
    [QUOTE]The first verse makes the daughter sound completely spoiled - everything she sees she wants and everything she wants she gets...?
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I kind of thought that at first too but then thought it didn't necessarily mean just material things. I dunno. I doubt I'd ever put that much thought into it at the wedding. I'd be watching the interaction between the two of them if I was really, really interested. Or I might note the dance was happening and then continue mingling or conversing with others. Or maybe I'd be refilling my drink or scuttling off to the ladies' room. It really just depends. </div><div>
    </div><div>The whole spotlight dance thing is a really nice tradition. I did it; my DD is doing it and it's a big deal to those directly involved. But truly, with the exception your very, VERY nearest and dearest family and life-long friends, most people probably won't pay that much attention.</div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: I don't mean to sound bitchy or like I'm picking on you by any means cuz I'm not. It's just my observation about these dances in general after attending a LOT of weddings! So please don't take it personally!</div>
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveToRobotILoveToRobot member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_now-be-honest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:959a9a55-3a5b-438b-837d-a09b381e32f7Post:a14b7f70-88d8-40b7-90d1-b5dab0ee9f22">Re: Now be honest</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Now be honest : I kind of thought that at first too but then thought it didn't necessarily mean just material things. I dunno. I doubt I'd ever put that much thought into it at the wedding. I'd be watching the interaction between the two of them if I was really, really interested. Or I might note the dance was happening and then continue mingling or conversing with others. Or maybe I'd be refilling my drink or scuttling off to the ladies' room. It really just depends.  The whole spotlight dance thing is a really nice tradition. I did it; my DD is doing it and it's a big deal to those directly involved. But truly, with the exception your very, VERY nearest and dearest family and life-long friends, most people probably won't pay that much attention. ETA: I don't mean to sound bitchy or like I'm picking on you by any means cuz I'm not. It's just my observation about these dances in general after attending a LOT of weddings! So please don't take it personally!
    Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]

    HAHA! I didn't take any offense to your comments AT ALL! You're first words in your ETA portion freaked me out though lol. My heart almost sank when I saw "I don't mean to sound bitchy" lol. Obviously it didn't turn out bad
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    willywally5willywally5 member
    First Comment
    LOL! Good, I'm glad I didn't offend you!

    And FWIW, I totally get the whole thing about not wanting people to think you are a spoiled brat. Sometimes it seems like people get penalized because they or their family have abundant resources. And that just isn't fair. Sometimes it can make llife very complicated.


    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveToRobotILoveToRobot member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_now-be-honest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:959a9a55-3a5b-438b-837d-a09b381e32f7Post:89df7012-cd46-457b-a74a-185fa67d7fbf">Re: Now be honest</a>:
    [QUOTE]LOL! Good, I'm glad I didn't offend you! And FWIW, I totally get the whole thing about not wanting people to think you are a spoiled brat. Sometimes it seems like people get penalized because they or their family have abundant resources. And that just isn't fair. Sometimes it can make llife very complicated.
    Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]

    Not to spar a debate but yeah... I get abused for my parents rags to riches story even though I don't tell it (to "real" people lol). Maybe that's why I made really good friends with people before ever inviting them over.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    melb2013melb2013 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    Most people never listen to lyrics and I'd say no one pays attention to the lyrics at weddings.

    May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations

    image

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    Report Reply
  • Options
    willywally5willywally5 member
    First Comment
    Robot, YGPM ...
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited June 2012
    I think (just from being around the boards awhile and hearing it mentioned) that many people have used this for their F/D dance. The line about "everything she wants she gets" COULD be construed that way if people are looking for it. When I heard it, I sort of took it as many fathers end up spoiling their daughters; they're kind of wrapped around their fingers in a cute way in that when they smile they just melt and want to give them anything they want. Again, that's just how I interpreted it and that's the thing with song lyrics--people interpret them differently.

    If you are worried they may be misconstrued and it's a sensitive issue, then I might pick another song. Most people won't analyze the lyrics though.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveToRobotILoveToRobot member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    willywally ygpm back
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    SnippylynnSnippylynn member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_now-be-honest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:959a9a55-3a5b-438b-837d-a09b381e32f7Post:547d72f6-f52d-4720-9aca-6deda4e901e2">Re: Now be honest</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't read the lyrics, but I never pay attention to lyrics of songs when I first hear them, and many of your guests won't either. Most of them are paying more attention to the moment of the F/D dance than anything else, and TBH, your guests will watch, but they will also talk with each other, eat, etc. They're not going to stop to analyze your song choice.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]
    Honestly, just rinse and repeat this.  Despite what everyone is saying here, we can see the lyrics and read them and know what is going on. But really, no one at your wedding is going to know everything.<div>
    </div><div>I don't know that you've talked about your parents here, but if you have, I've missed it. But if your 'friends' judge it, then they aren't friends. Who gives a crap how much money your family has?</div>
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Wedding stuff.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Honestly, even though I love the Wainwright/McGarrigle clan, when I hear that song I think of the movie Knocked Up, because it's the song at the very end. If you're not paying attention to the lyrics it just sounds kind of sweet and folksy, and even if you do, I think it's fine. 

    If my dad and I decide to do a father/daughter thing, and people listen to the lyrics, they're going to be kind of bummed and probably pretty weirded out. Our "song" is "Alison" by Elvis Costello. He heard it in the car on the way to the hospital to visit me and my mom when they were hashing out a name and thought it was so beautiful. Since I'm giving up my middle name and moving last to middle to take FI's name, but I think it's a perfect way to have a little inside moment with my dad. Of course, the song is about disappointment and running into a long lost love and seeing that her life kind of sucks now and wanting to save her. So, there's that. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    That song makes me think of Knocked Up too.

    My dad chose our song, and it was the song after which my parents named me.  No one thought that I was self-centered in dancing to the song, they just thought it was cute and were impressed that my dad can foxtrot.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic **Bio**
    Report Reply
  • Options
    nextrightthingnextrightthing member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited June 2012
    My BFF and her dad danced to this, and her family has lots of money. I was actually paying attention and I seriously didn't think anything of it. I think you are over thinking, TBH. Edited: I WAS paying attention.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Cuss10Cuss10 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    If you have misgivings about using it, then don't.

    It's like cleaning out the fridge, 'When in doubt, throw it out'
    Report Reply
  • Options
    RailWayWifeRailWayWife member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Who cares what they think, if you like the song dance to it.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Okay, I'm a little late to the part, but I ditto PPs that said that people aren't going to sit there and analyze your song.

    However, if you're not looking for wishy washy for your father/daughter dance you could go with "You're My Best Friend" by Queen. That was mine : )

    image
    Rambley Blog
    Report Reply
  • Options
    gymchick05gymchick05
    First Comment
    Are you having a band? Ask them to change around the lyrics for the 1st part if you want. For our 1st dance we loved a song and had them change the words from I miss to "I love" to sound better so you could try that, but yea, I dont pay attention to lyrics :)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveToRobotILoveToRobot member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_now-be-honest?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:959a9a55-3a5b-438b-837d-a09b381e32f7Post:8af57a83-aed0-40c4-9398-7c689606f49c">Re: Now be honest</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Now be honest : Honestly, just rinse and repeat this.  Despite what everyone is saying here, we can see the lyrics and read them and know what is going on. But really, no one at your wedding is going to know everything. I don't know that you've talked about your parents here, but if you have, I've missed it. But if your 'friends' judge it, then they aren't friends. Who gives a crap how much money your family has?
    Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

    I don't know how the post you're responding to came out the way it did. I re read it and was wondering about it myself but I didn't mean that I was talking about them on here.  Anyway, thanks for all the advice ladies.
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards