bar

princesssam1989

Can I do an open bar with wine and beer and let guests pay for their own liquor?  Also, can I have an open bar for cocktail hour and from 10-12, and just serve wine with dinner?

JadziaDax

Yes, if you want to confuse the hell out of your guests.

princesssam1989

Haha.  I just meant not having a open bar going while dinner is served.  Just wine on the table. 

Mrs.B6302007

Don't make your guests open their wallets.  Provide what you can afford.  yes, wine only during dinner is fine with open bar following. 

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a22b968-1dfa-432d-8819-70c1a00f7733Post:fa2c1d45-33c0-4635-827e-d3a24837885d">Re: bar</a>:
[QUOTE]For every possible option related to open bar, cash bar, etc., there will be some people on here who tell you it's offensive, bad, no opinion, good, best idea they have ever heard.  Personally <strong>I don't drink beer or wine and would happily pay for a drink if I had the option, but I'm in the minority with that opinion on E.
Posted by vegasgroom</strong>[QUOTE/]
I'm doing open beer, wine, and champagne. Liquor will be available if guests would like to pay for it. As a guest, I would rather have the option of paying for something I wanted that wasn't free. I mean, I wish we could afford to have open liquor as well, but it's just not in the cards. So yeah, I agree with you too.

Lisa8888

Cash bars are not proper etiquette. Your guests should not have to pay for anything. You are the host and you are suppose to provide for your guests.

Many people who drink don't care to drink wine or beer.

If you do a cash bar or only serve beer and wine, your guests will remember that and comment about it long after your wedding. It makes you look bad.

Beachy730

You are definitely fine to only serve wine at dinner, and actually you are fine to not serve anything.  For my own wedding and every wedding I've been to there is always an open bar for the first hour, then it closes for about an hour and a half for dinner, then 3 more hours of open bar after.  Everyone knows to grab an extra drink or two during dinner, and nothing is served. 

As for the beer and wine only, if that's all you can afford to do then thats fine to do.  It is nice for people to have the option to drink what they want, even if they have to pay for it.  Can you maybe do a signature drink at the bar along with beer and wine? 

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a22b968-1dfa-432d-8819-70c1a00f7733Post:7754c253-7e28-4ee6-8bc1-9a4aef96ed7a">Re: bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha.  I just meant not having a open bar going while dinner is served.  Just wine on the table. 
Posted by princesssam1989[/QUOTE]

An attorney I worked with tried this and one of our partners wound up bribing a waiter (very well) to open the bar for our table.  The attorney groom still hasn't hear the end of this.

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9a22b968-1dfa-432d-8819-70c1a00f7733Post:6f1fe601-b05d-4323-9052-089b22633370">Re: bar</a>:
[QUOTE]As a guest, I would rather have the option of paying for something I wanted that wasn't free. I mean, I wish we could afford to have open liquor as well, but it's just not in the cards. So yeah, I agree with you too.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

I think, at least on this forum, it's assumed that people who drink liquor somehow have no knowledge of, or appreciation for, what a liquor drink costs and therefore would view having to pay for a drink that they'd want as some great offense.

People who drink liquor are not that nieve, if you like liquor drinks, then there's a 99% chance that you've ordered a drink before when going out to dinner or to a bar, and therefore know a drink costs $5 to $10/each.  Liquor drinkers are smart enough to at least figure out that having venue-served liquor at a wedding must be extremely expensive, which it is, and that is why I just don't see most liquor drinkers getting offended by being offered an option to buy a drink versus having no option at all.

I've been to many weddings that had complimentary beer & wine and a cash liquor bar, I liked being able to have a drink instead of the water I would have been drinking had there been no option, and in a few cases these were close friends who I knew spent as much as they could afford on the wedding.

Lisa8888

"I am getting married on New Years Eve, which also happens to be the Jewish Sabbath.  Because I'm a law student, I don't have many options for times, so it pretty much has to be this date.  We have to have the wedding at 4 pm, because the sun sets so early, but since we want to party to go late, we're not starting the reception until 7.  We will have a hospitality room for in between, and the hotel has a bar.  Do you think the gap is ok?"

The OP is having her wedding on New Years Eve. That is even more reason to have an open bar. She also has a good gap of time between her ceremony and her reception. Although she has a hospitality room for this in between time, she is expecting her guests to purchase their drinks from the hotel bar.

Jennifer133

We are having free beer and soda and a cash bar beyond that.  I live in WI and every wedding I have attended is this way.  I would love to pay to have an open bar, but as a previous poster stated, that is very expensive.  I have a 250 person guest list and a $20,000 budget and I am doing a lot of DIY stuff as well.  There is no way to fit in an open bar.  On the other hand, I am also serving a very nice dinner for my guests and I am not wearing a $5000 dress.

princesssam1989

Thanks for all your input, ladies (and gents, maybe)!  It was very helpful.