Same Dress?

memoriesof

I was NOT able to make one of my best friend's wedding and I JUST found out that the dress his wife wore is the SAME EXACT DRESS that I just bought for my wedding.  Is it wrong for me to wear it knowing that she wore the same one for hers?  By the way, my best friend is invited to the wedding and he will be playing the music for me as I walk down the aisle.  She will also be there and we have mutual friends that will be at my wedding that were at hers....

HELP!!!!!

~~April 16th, 2011~~

Soon to be the happiest day of my life.

danieliza1127

How much time is in between their wedding and yours? 

Do you have similar body shapes?

Moneypenny424

You're fine.  Dresses are mass produced, so things like this can happen.  She'll probably be the only one who notices, but it isn't like she commissioned the dress or anything, so go ahead and wear it.

andyandhillary

I think it's fine.  Hardly anyone will notice/remember besides you two and a few others.  It is definitely nothing for her to be angry with you over.  If she is upset, just explain that you didn't know that was her dress.  If you like it and you feel great it in then rock it, sister.

frenchy730

You're good to go.

It's not like everyone who was at their wedding will also be at yours and will notice.  All it means is that you both have the same taste in dresses. 

tlv204

Ha dani, I love you.

PharmacyBride

You picked it out without knowing.  I would explain the situation to her and she how she feels.  I would base your decision of her response.

I personally think she will be flattered.. but people can respond sooooo differently.  IMO- if she is going to be upset- it wouldn't be worth it to me.

I am sure it will be fine!  If you talk to her now about it (vs keeping it a secret until the wedding day) you will avoid looking like you copied her dress.

Hope it works out!! It must be a pretty dress!  Do you have a pic?

kate51485

Ditto Money, and especially in another year, people will probably not remember hers all too well.  I'd say wear it if it's the dress you loved and chose!

tenofcups4me

Unless your dress is REALLY unusual, I doubt anyone but you and she will ever know it was the same dress.

hd7694

The only 2 people that will know will be you and her.  You will be just fine, unless she is planning on wearing her wedding dress to your wedding! 

danieliza1127

Oh I see it's at least a year between their wedding and yours, and so I agree with everyone else.  Just let him and her know that you happened to get the same dress, but it's highly unlikely that any of your friends will even remember or notice.

andy71781

I agree that its ok to wear the same dress.  You will look different in it I'm sure.

eastunder1

You didn't know.  You're fine. 

I would tell her before hand.  Not because she needs to be informed or you owe it to her, but just because if she doesn't know until your wedding day she may make call attention to it, joking and whatnot.  "OMG, She's wearing MY dress hahaha" will get really old, really quick.  Tell her now, let it go, and it will be a non issue when the day rolls around. 

shellydiane820

its fine.

I had two friends who got married 2 months apart, and out of all the wedding dresses in the world (and not discussing their dresses to eachother) ended up wearing the exact same dress.

No one even noticed, except for the people who already knew.

crfische

If I were pharmacy bride, I'd be feeling a wee bit sheepish today.

danieliza1127

So she won't be a good sport about it huh?  That sucks.

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_same-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bf43e3f-cd81-46b0-95c5-8f8384f5237dPost:d0bc43f1-e1f9-4fca-bd42-6f29e8424a9c">Re: Same Dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]If I were pharmacy bride, I'd be feeling a wee bit sheepish today.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

true story.

memoriesof

No, I'm afraid not.  This is also why almost all my friends (minus a very select and close few) are guys.  There is just WAY too much drama with girls.

frenchy730

I'm sorry you two don't get along.  It is a beautful dress.  Honestly that style of dress is a very classic style, and there are a lot of dresses that look similar.  No one will notice.

Side note:  I can be an evil person sometimes.  If she was constantly a biz-natch to me, I would make an extra effort to loo better in it than she did. 

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_same-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bf43e3f-cd81-46b0-95c5-8f8384f5237dPost:bc62078c-e610-48cf-b2a3-77b434289078">Re: Same Dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]No, I'm afraid not.  This is also why almost all my friends (minus a very select and close few) are guys.  <strong>There is just WAY too much drama with girls.</strong>
Posted by memoriesof[/QUOTE]

I hate this stereotype.

memoriesof

Hahahahaha!  That I think I will do - especially since I just renewed my gym membership and it comes with lots of classes!

Thanks everyone~~~  I guess I should stop worrying and just wear the dress I love and send her a quick email to let her know beforehand and HOPE TO GOD that she doesn't blow it out of proportion.

jaide and dante

Do not change your dress ! just take a deep breath and tell your self i didnt do it intentional i love my dress and i am sure she will understand. You guys just have great taste in dresses. Dont stress bride to be just look forward to the union of you and your fiance that im sure will think you look amazing that day and thats ALL that matters.
                                                                                best wishes

memoriesof

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_same-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9bf43e3f-cd81-46b0-95c5-8f8384f5237dPost:f6c9472b-fe49-4b39-9e48-aa3af3abc38f">Re: Same Dress?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Same Dress? : I hate this stereotype.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Well, sadly, when only 5 girls I've met have NOT driven me crazy with their lives, its hard for me to believe otherwise.</div>

PharmacyBride

Honestly, I don't like to indulge people's childlike behavior.  It allows them to get away with it.  The fact that she holds a grudge over a date 10 years ago worries me.

Also- the dress is very unique (and gorgeous) - so it is more noticeable than the simple white dress.  (but 20 months is long enough apart, IMO!!)

My advice: get the dress if you love it.  Explain to her that you didn't know she had also chosen the same dress at the time you fell in love with it.  (I think it is important to let her know now if she is invited to your wedding.)

If she responds in an inappropriate way- let her.  You can't cater to behavior that is childlike.  Don't give in and still get the dress.

Honestly tho- only you know how awful she is.  If you don't want to talk to her, then don't put yourself through torture.

jnic0319

Thousands of other girls have probably worn the same dress style within the past year, it's fine.

stinkerbell6879

If I can walk off an elevator in Vegas and have a bride in MY dress ON the day of....She can handle seeing you in it a year later.

vannymuse

if the dress is available in a store to be bought, it is fair game for any bride

melissamc2

Accessorize it up and make it your own.  So many gowns look similar as it is, that (as others have stated) you and she will be the only ones who REALLY know.

Congratulations!

spinner84

Honestly if you hadn't bought it, I would say to find another dress since now you do know. If it's too late, it woudl be ridiculous to ask you to change though. I would tell your friend though, and he can tell his wife.


Did they JUST get married so you saw pics for the first time? Because otherwise it would be weird if you  never looked at your best friend's wedding pics...

thesuninherhead

I am gathering there was some dding within this thread of the OP's responses to the questions posed? In any case, even if you did miss the wedding, I'm wondering how you didn't see pictures of 'one of your best friend's' weddings? That just strikes me as rather odd...

 

I think as long as you look hotter in the dress, it's totally fine.