Deleting

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_followed-etiquette-and-got-burned-now-what-its-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e71af86-5acd-4323-a4df-9b2486af1e38Post:30c154dc-466d-4b0c-bac3-10999e20cde1">Re: Deleting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Deleting : That's the funny thing- My FB friends all KNOW HER and KNOW the situation and AGREE WITH ME.
Posted by RockstarWifey0912[/QUOTE]

<div>Really?  All your friends think it's appropriate to call out your sister-in-law in a passive-aggressive way?  I guess you all belong together.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>*** no one here thinks you have to have in the wedding.  Your response on FB however was inappropriate.</div>

RockstarWifey0912

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_followed-etiquette-and-got-burned-now-what-its-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e71af86-5acd-4323-a4df-9b2486af1e38Post:a5c22cf5-3bd3-47bd-a1b6-c58811476c96">Re: Deleting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Deleting : Really?  All your friends think it's appropriate to call out your sister-in-law in a passive-aggressive way?  I guess you all belong together. *** no one here things you have to have in the wedding.  Your response on FB however was inappropriate.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>That may be, but after the history she and I have, I just do not care.  Obviously, dealing with her in the polite way didn't work.  If it had, she wouldn't have started drama with FI.</div><div>
</div><div>But it's whatever.  I can't undo it now.</div>

ootmother2

damn  I knew I said the wrong thing!

KatoNorway

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_followed-etiquette-and-got-burned-now-what-its-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e71af86-5acd-4323-a4df-9b2486af1e38Post:30c154dc-466d-4b0c-bac3-10999e20cde1">Re: Deleting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Deleting : That's the funny thing- My FB friends all KNOW HER and KNOW the situation and AGREE WITH ME.
Posted by RockstarWifey0912[/QUOTE]
I HIGHLY doubt that. Passive-aggressive behavior is the worst. I don't care if it's coming from a friend about someone who's a brat. It makes you stoop to their level, or worst- makes YOU look like the one with the problem.

You think that her behavior entitles you to act like a bit*h. It doesn't. Your still acting like a bit*h regardless what she is doing. And your friends that "support" that type of FB message are the kind of friends that won't tell you that you have a booger hanging from your nose.

KatoNorway

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_followed-etiquette-and-got-burned-now-what-its-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e71af86-5acd-4323-a4df-9b2486af1e38Post:08af564d-7028-4b42-b76d-ba63ada7df37">Re: Deleting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Deleting : That may be, but after the history she and I have, I just do not care.  Obviously, dealing with her in the polite way didn't work.  If it had, she wouldn't have started drama with FI. <em><strong>But it's whatever.  I can't undo it now.</strong></em>
Posted by RockstarWifey0912[/QUOTE]
Again, sorry, but your the one starting the drama. All she did was express to her FI in a private text message her hurt feelings.

You can "undo" the damage- apologize, Take some responsibility.

mica178

Seriously? 

chelseamb11

That was an interesting read.  OP, two wrongs don't make a right.  She was out of line for confronting your FI.  But you were even more out of line to make a passive aggressive facebook post about your feelings.  You're not 16 anymore.  Have an adult conversation with her.  I don't care if she's acting like a twat.  Be the bigger person and don't be a twat back.

eirwyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_followed-etiquette-and-got-burned-now-what-its-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e71af86-5acd-4323-a4df-9b2486af1e38Post:5bf31cfb-312c-4dfe-b14f-9f2a7d27af29">Re: Followed etiquette and got burned :( Now what? (It's long, sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Followed etiquette and got burned :( Now what? (It's long, sorry!) : Nope, we do not need any of that.  She and I do not have the best history together anyway and honestly all I want is for her to sit in the<strong> audience</strong> and deal.
Posted by RockstarWifey0912[/QUOTE]
They are guests, not an audience. You need to treat them as such and stop acting like a spoiled brat.<div>
</div><div>She sent a private text to your FI, which was the mature thing to do. You chose the childish route. Just because your pack of friends agrees with you doesn't make you right.</div><div>
</div><div>Prepare for a lot of awkward holidays with your in-laws.</div>

chattychiqa

I feel really bad for the groom, being in the middle of this and all. Even if he feels the same way about his sister not being in the WP, how awful of a position to be in.

renjon7798

so wait....FSIL was hurt but quietly mentioned to her brother that she was hurt and feeling left out? What's the problem? As far as I can see, she did nothing wrong by telling her brother that she was feeling a little hurt. However, OP somehow sees this as a threat/betrayal/attack and goes on a FB rant? Wow...I am constantly amazed by the maturity levels on FB. Look, no one said you had to have FSIL in your wedding at all. However, the mature thing would have been to acknowledge her feelings face to face with her and tried to work it out. The way you played it makes you look like the biitch, not her. If I were in you FI family, his sister would have my sympathy vote for sure! PP is right that you have some very awkward family functions to look forward too and if I were you, Id be less worried about your one day and more concerned about repairing your relationship with your FI family....which might last more than your one day if you start working on some serious damage control for your petty, childish, and horribly uncalled for public biitch fest on FB.

nextrightthing

Whether or not she is a total psycho and has been terrible to you which doesn't appear to be the case, you have to either say you're sorry for acting like a twelve year old on fb, or accept that you have probably offended not only your FSIL, but all of your inlaws. Family is family, and his family is going to be your family. Aren't you the poster who recently went on a rant about how you don't want to invite certain relatives because they only want to come because your FI is a "rockstar"? I think you have gotten this wedding thing all wrong....the wedding is not just YOUR day and a time for YOU to get everything you want and pretend you are a queen. It is the blending of families and a celebration with guests. Put some thought into whether you want to destroy all these family relationships for the sake of being a "rockstar" on your wedding day. Blood is not irrelevant. You are going to be dealing with these people for the rest of your life.

StephBeanWed61502

Is anyone else failing to see how FSIL's text to OP's FI was out of line?  If a sister of a groom came on here and said something like "I found out I'm not in the bridal party, I'm the only sibling left out, what can I do?" I feel like we'd tell her to talk to her brother about it and tell him how she's feeling.  Unless I missed something, it seems like that's all that happened here.

OP, I feel like you decided at some random point in the past that you hate this girl, and now every single thing she does - even when it's perfectly reasonable - offends you.  Knock it off.  You don't have to like FSIL, but you do have to treat her with respect.  Running to Facebook to b!tch to your friends is disrespectful and horrible.  No wonder she doesn't want to speak to you - she doesn't want her personal, private affairs on public blast just because you don't like her.

renjon7798

I kinda feel like OP is acting like an entitled spoiled brat. I feel sorry for her FI for the drama she has caused within his family and the backlash I am sure he's feeling because of her immature actions.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_followed-etiquette-and-got-burned-now-what-its-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e71af86-5acd-4323-a4df-9b2486af1e38Post:a1bc6db9-4138-4638-bda0-d7c8c90ea3af">Re: Deleting</a>:
[QUOTE]I<strong>s anyone else failing to see how FSIL's text to OP's FI was out of line?  If a sister of a groom came on here and said something like "I found out I'm not in the bridal party, I'm the only sibling left out, what can I do?" I feel like we'd tell her to talk to her brother about it and tell him how she's feeling.  Unless I missed something, it seems like that's all that happened here. </strong>OP, I feel like you decided at some random point in the past that you hate this girl, and now every single thing she does - even when it's perfectly reasonable - offends you.  Knock it off.  You don't have to like FSIL, but you do  have to treat her with respect.  Running to Facebook to b!tch to your friends is disrespectful and horrible .  No wonder she doesn't want to speak to you - she doesn't want her personal, private affairs on public blast just because you don't like her.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with this. It's sad that siblings can express feelings to one another.  It does not mean the other sibling needs to change anything.   But it's really so bad to hear the siblings out?  Show a little empathy?  </div><div>
</div><div>How hard would have been for him to say "I sorry to hear you feel that way.  That was not our intention."?    </div><div>
</div><div>Nope instead OP goes on FB to rant how bloody mean nothing.    That would go over really well in my family.  I think my parents would go ape shiit if one of my SILs posted such a thing.</div>

brookelynpaisley

You're really setting yourself up for some fun times at the Thanksgiving table for the next 50 years. Way to be an adult. The little quote in your sig shows just the kind of person you are - you couldn't give two shits how you make another person feel. Awesome. You're inconsiderate and rude, bottom line. That's lovely that you embrace your immaturity, but at some point, being a hard-ass biitch becomes less appealing to everyone around you.

KatoNorway

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_followed-etiquette-and-got-burned-now-what-its-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9e71af86-5acd-4323-a4df-9b2486af1e38Post:12c4b0f6-7066-4199-ab43-aebbfe0b5ca3">Deleting</a>:
[QUOTE]Not hairflipping, just deleting. Thank you for the responses but honestly, posting this on any board is not the way to go.  None of you know her, or the situation firsthand.  Summarizing the relationship with FSIL is not easy to do and I really don't feel like doing so.  I shouldn't have posted on FB, but it's whatever.  Maybe she'll drop the subject now. Thanks again for the responses. <em><strong>Last edit:  I am NOT apologizing for the FB post
Warning: I will say what I feel and won't apologize for it. You'll live.</strong></em> Posted by RockstarWifey0912[/QUOTE]
Wow, way to be an adult.

musicalsunlight

I'm imagining OP like this:

renjon7798

me too!

StephBeanWed61502

Sorry kids, the "rockstar" thread was a different OP.  http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-more-friends-less-family