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Plus ones

MrsRMackiewiczMrsRMackiewicz
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I really want to have the smallest wedding possible but it is very difficult because we both have large families. My question is can I limit plus ones to those that are married or in the bridal party? I just don't want a ton of people I dont know to be there. I dont want to look back at my wedding pictures and say Whose that?!? Also how would I word such?
Thanks In Advance Ladies!
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Re: Plus ones

  • MyUserName1MyUserName1 member
    Third Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Depends on how you define plus ones.

    If by "plus one" you mean, allow comletely single guests to bring a date: you do not have to do this (it is however, thoughtful to allow those who will not know many people and people who are oot to bring a date)

    If by "plus one" you mean not inviting your friend or family member's significant other, this is not okay at all.

    And as far as wording, you write the names of those invited on the invitation.  No other wording.
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  • KatePlusNate04KatePlusNate04 member
    First Comment
    Ditto PP. Anyone in a relationship needs to be invited with their SO. I really hate the length of relationship cut offs too, so don't do that (things like "Anyone dating less than a year can't bring their SO"). It isn't up to any of us to judge the seriousness of a relationship based on how long they've been together.

    Totally single guests can be invited solo, but if they won't know anyone else there, it's nice to extend a plus-one to them. But anyone in a relationship of some sort should definitely get to bring their SO. Think about how you'd feel if you got invited to a wedding without your FI simply because you weren't married.
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  • MrsRMackiewiczMrsRMackiewicz
    First Comment
    Heres a follow up question to my original: My finacee and I have a good friend (groomsman) who girlfriend recently got drunk and called and screamed at me...this is not the first time the GF has been a real b word. I want him to be apart of our big day but I do not want her anywhere near me. What to do? At this point I think I waant to talk to him first (I dont think the situation will come as a surprise to him) and let him decide if he would still like to be apart of it...
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-ones-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb1387d-0140-40eb-aa89-03b43a4da6a6Post:894badc9-1b0c-4f68-b983-11504019c741">Re: Plus ones</a>:
    [QUOTE]Heres a follow up question to my original: My finacee and I have a good friend (groomsman) who girlfriend recently got drunk and called and screamed at me...this is not the first time the GF has been a real b word. I want him to be apart of our big day but I do not want her anywhere near me. What to do? At this point I think I waant to talk to him first (I dont think the situation will come as a surprise to him) and let him decide if he would still like to be apart of it...
    Posted by MrsRMackiewicz[/QUOTE]

    If you are inviting him to the wedding, you need to invite her as well. I highly doubt she'll make a scene at your wedding. Perhaps she's embarassed and either won't come or will behave herself. But you need to invite everyone's significant others.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    10000 Comments Knottie Warrior 5 Answers 500 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-ones-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb1387d-0140-40eb-aa89-03b43a4da6a6Post:894badc9-1b0c-4f68-b983-11504019c741">Re: Plus ones</a>:
    [QUOTE]Heres a follow up question to my original: My finacee and I have a good friend (groomsman) who girlfriend recently got drunk and called and screamed at me...this is not the first time the GF has been a real b word. I want him to be apart of our big day but I do not want her anywhere near me. What to do? At this point I think I waant to talk to him first (I dont think the situation will come as a surprise to him) and let him decide if he would still like to be apart of it...
    Posted by MrsRMackiewicz[/QUOTE]

    <div>If she's an actual girlfriend, you have to invite her.  The only people who you can exclude are random dates.</div><div>
    </div><div>If the GM doesn't already know about the behavior, bring it up to him in terms of worried about his girlfriend and her drinking, not in relation to your wedding.  </div>
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  • MyUserName1MyUserName1 member
    Third Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-ones-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb1387d-0140-40eb-aa89-03b43a4da6a6Post:894badc9-1b0c-4f68-b983-11504019c741">Re: Plus ones</a>:
    [QUOTE]Heres a follow up question to my original: My finacee and I have a good friend (groomsman) who girlfriend recently got drunk and called and screamed at me...this is not the first time the GF has been a real b word. I want him to be apart of our big day but I do not want her anywhere near me. What to do? At this point I think I waant to talk to him first (I dont think the situation will come as a surprise to him) and let him decide if he would still like to be apart of it...
    Posted by MrsRMackiewicz[/QUOTE]

    <div>She hasn't beaten you up, tried to sleep with your fiance, you don't have a restraining order out on her, etc.</div><div>
    </div><div>Then she gets an invite.</div><div>
    </div><div>My step-grandmother can be a "real b word" sometimes too, but I'm inviting her.  </div>
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary Combo Breaker Name Dropper
    You should invite significant others, even if they aren't married. I would definitely invite the groomsman's gf. Nothing good will come of you not inviting her. Think of the backlash if you purposely leave her off the guestlist.
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  • lenergyrlahlenergyrlah member
    First Comment
    Maybe have a dry wedding?  Then you don't have to worry about her getting drunk...

    I would definitely invite her.  Your relationship with your groomsman is more important than his gf potentially making a fool of herself at the wedding.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    5 Answers Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 10000 Comments

    Is she normally like that or was it a one time thing?  My answer depends on whether her screaming was a unique occurence or if it's a pattern of behavior.

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  • MrsRMackiewiczMrsRMackiewicz
    First Comment
    Its a pattern. I really can't stand the girl
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  • banana468banana468 member
    5 Answers Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 10000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_plus-ones-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9eb1387d-0140-40eb-aa89-03b43a4da6a6Post:30e14b94-4344-4a6b-b29c-d94e2aca223e">Re: Plus ones</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Plus ones : Sorry, it's his girlfriend.  She gets an invitation.  Well, her name and his name on an invitation.  They are a social unit, do not split them up.
    Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

    I disagree. If you make it a pattern to constantly insult the hostess, you don't just get an invite because you're dating another guest.
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