I have worked at my job for 50 weeks now. I am having so much trouble with my managers, to the point where I am in counseling. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disease, and have been stable, with medication and counseling, for three months. In the past six months at work, I am constantly criticized, sometimes for work issues, but sometimes for non work issues (such as my manager saying that my FI is a loser because he doesn't have a job - he's a 100% disabled veteran, disabled in the line of duty).
A month ago, I was called into HR surprisingly, and given a Personnel Improvement Plan. I had to change immediately, and stop making any mistakes, and to basically kiss a$$ like crazy if I wanted to keep my job. Any single screw up would be grounds for termination.
A few weeks ago, HR requested that I send them a list of what I could use in order to help me excel at my position. I did as I was asked. Just today I got called into HR, and was told that I didn't have the right to ask for any of the items that I had on my list. HR also said that I was constantly offered help by my managers, and that I would constantly turn it down as "not good enough for me". Odd, I don't remember ever being offered help, nor turning it down. The last thing that I was told by HR was that "I should be grateful that I still have the opportunity to kiss my managers
@$$&$. Ok, that wasn't her actual words, but it was about what was said.
I got home today, went right into FI's arms, and started crying. I just feel that no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do right, it will never be enough. I turned in a file this week with a large journal entry, that ended up being perfect. I was told by my manager today that it could have been better. How much better than perfect??? Yesterday, a few coworkers were talking about a TV show. I was standing right next to them, so I asked a relevant question. I was told, by my manager, that it was a private conversation, and to go to work. The other coworkers just laughed.
I am going through a bottle of tums each week due to stress, and only want to find a way to stop the constant bullying and harrasment that I am getting at work. I dread going to work, and I dread having to face my managers. I feel that getting a new job is the right thing to do, but I am very petrified of quitting and going for a new job. I am petrified of having to try to be happy when I am so sad, so depressed.
Can anyone give me advice?
