I figured there would be a point in our planning stage where it could come to this. When I got engaged (My fiance and I are 20 years old) my mom freaked out and told us we were crazy, we'd end up quitting school, etc. But she came around really quickly and started to help plan our August wedding. One of the first things we did was pick out the save the date and get it in the mail. Every one that I picked out my Mother didn't like, so we ended up using one that she not only picked out but she also designed. My original only color was purple and I wanted to stick to that, but she insisted that we add green into the mix because "You can't have a wedding with only ONE color" and because she's paying for it "she deserves a say". Which was fine, I let that slide because I didn't feel it was something important enough to argue about. Although I know I'd hear "I'm paying so I deserve a say" more than once throughout this process. Since then she has picked many more things that I don't really care for, but everytime I back down and let her have her way because I'd rather not argue over it. Things such as the church (we could have used my fiance's family's church for free, but she insisted we use our church), she's picked the reception site (a hotel, and then she's proceeded to badger everyone into getting a hotel room there so we can have the honeymoon suite for free), she has even picked the food for the reception, she has given us ONE option for a bakery for the cake, she gave me two options to pick from for her wedding attire, etc. I just feel like everytime I have an idea it gets knocked down and replaced with something she likes. She just has a bad habit of saying "You don't want that, do you?" instead of letting me do my own thing. For instance, I said I wanted to cut my hair before the wedding and those were her exact words. I said I wanted to play songs using the church system before and after the wedding, and she said it again. Finally, she insisted that her boss sing at the wedding, which I wasn't too totally into. She mentioned it a couple months ago and I just brushed it off for us to discuss later. So, she brought it up this weekend and I said I just wasn't sold on it and she said "It would mean a lot to ME if she sang at MY daughter's wedding." Personally I think she's said "ME" and "MY" a lot during the course of our wedding planning, but I again just ignored it and figured it would blow over. Now she is threatening to quit helping me plan the wedding all together because I voiced that I didn't want her boss to sing. I've already sacrificed a lot I feel like because the wedding being planned IS NOT my "dream" wedding at all, but I am grateful for what I am give. Am I wrong in voicing my opinion? Or should I just let her plan her dream wedding and I'll just show up?
