Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!?

whitsy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-helping-to-open-shower-gifts-how-to-say-no-without-sounding-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a64e7722-b94b-4c41-a6cf-9d4387dfdeb2Post:23fc259c-ebce-4f70-b929-dc35eb4010b1">Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Can they "help" you open the gift?  I mean they are excited about unwrapping it and you are excited about what is inside. I can't imagine ANY guest being pi$$ed that you the bride to be didn't open it.  They will see how kind and gracious you were to include a child.
Posted by IamTheMommaOfTheBride[/QUOTE]

<div>Um no. At one of my family showers, I don't even have any decent pictures because there's kids in front of me the whole time trying to rip open paper. Not that I need a ton of pictures of me opening presents, but it's one of those memories that I would have liked to have had a few photos of happening. It's just annoying.</div>

HandBanana

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-helping-to-open-shower-gifts-how-to-say-no-without-sounding-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a64e7722-b94b-4c41-a6cf-9d4387dfdeb2Post:c34e4499-1177-4b11-bd31-a26faa2d0554">Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!? : I have to disagree here.  A shower is the perfect opportunity to teach little Susie Belle that she is not the center of attention and she needs to sit quietly and let the bride be the guest of honor and open her own gifts.  This is where a child learns these lessons and I think it is absoltuely imperative that children learn that they are not included in everything and are to sit, be quiet, and watch. I don't see children being taught this very often at all.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

Best response.

I see this stuff all the time.  Little girls are given roles at showers no matter if they are members of the WP or not but simply because they are "adorable" and their moms are the type that think anything their child does should be "Awed" at.  Most recently, I couldn't even get photos at a baby shower of the mom to be opening presents because there was a huddle of little girls in front of her and the moms just saying "Look how cute!" about the little girl's behaviour. 

I wouldn't even placate them with a role like garbage duty or passing wrapped presents to you unless they are in the WP.

PhoneCardLady

My question is, why are kids (other than the flower girl) at the bridal/wedding shower to begin with?

HandBanana

In Response to Re:Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!?:[QUOTE]My question is, why are kids other than the flower girl at the bridal/wedding shower to begin with? Posted by PhoneCardLady[/QUOTE]

There are people that bring their daughters even if they aren't invited or well behaved. I have a few relatives that do this. Lucky for me, my gram called and told them no before they even replied. When I was young, I was invited to bridal showers but I was also super quiet, wellbehaved, and acted like a mini adult.

hannahmassey

A little girl that attended my baby shower basically opened all of my gifts. Her mother did nothing about it. It was AWEFUL! If that happens at my bridal shower I'm not sure what my plan is. I think I'll just say these aren't for you, how about you go and sit with your mommy. And if that doesn't work I'll be calling the mother over and telling her to control her child. It's aweful and awkward. But you just have to do it.

frantastic12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-helping-to-open-shower-gifts-how-to-say-no-without-sounding-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a64e7722-b94b-4c41-a6cf-9d4387dfdeb2Post:79550476-033b-4a12-8a38-1e3982478bfb">Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]My question is, why are kids (other than the flower girl) at the bridal/wedding shower to begin with?
Posted by PhoneCardLady[/QUOTE]

Maybe it's one of those "in my circle" things.  I have a pretty big family, and there are always kids at showers.  My young cousins came to mine, and were really well-behaved.  I went to a number of showers when I was a kid, and my mom would have taken me home in a heartbeat had I tried to open presents or get in the way. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-helping-to-open-shower-gifts-how-to-say-no-without-sounding-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a64e7722-b94b-4c41-a6cf-9d4387dfdeb2Post:4f19d7c4-0d54-4806-a537-49dcc1dbca81">Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]They don't need to help and you shouldn't have to find "jobs" for them to do so they're out of your way. 
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
Agreed. They don't need distractions. They need to learn to listen to the word "No".

QueerFemme

I am glad I am not the only one who has seen this, and gets irritated by it.   Kids in my extended family do this all the time at birthday parties and such also.   They also try to blow out candles on cakes, etc.  It makes me nuts.

I politely just tell kids that "little johnny.  Today is Jane's birthday.  So, these are her gifts to open (or candles to blow out).  So, we should sit and watch her.  And if that doesn't work, as a non-parental figure, I don't have any problem asking the parent to come handle their child.

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-helping-to-open-shower-gifts-how-to-say-no-without-sounding-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a64e7722-b94b-4c41-a6cf-9d4387dfdeb2Post:79550476-033b-4a12-8a38-1e3982478bfb">Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]My question is, why are kids (other than the flower girl) at the bridal/wedding shower to begin with?
Posted by PhoneCardLady[/QUOTE]

I invited all of the little girls in my family.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-helping-to-open-shower-gifts-how-to-say-no-without-sounding-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a64e7722-b94b-4c41-a6cf-9d4387dfdeb2Post:e46e23cf-9ce5-4438-8a94-47f3d439c54f">Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!? : I invited all of the little girls in my family.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

Me too, Midge.  Baby and bridal showers in my family have always been family affairs, and that includes the little girls.  I, frankly, only know half my dad's family b/c I attended showers as a child (we just don't see them very often)

BrideErin2012

Thank you everyone for your helpful posts!!!

FutureMrsSS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-helping-to-open-shower-gifts-how-to-say-no-without-sounding-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a64e7722-b94b-4c41-a6cf-9d4387dfdeb2Post:c0d6cfed-bbca-4c3b-bd55-d347c4e1e948">Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Kids helping to open shower gifts... how to say no without sounding mean?!? : Sounds like your mom did a great job of politely distracting the child, but it shouldn't have been her (or your) problem to deal with.  Where was this child's parent?  And why did you not call her attention to the child's behavior?  I mean, I would be beyond embarassed if someone had to ask me to control my child, but some parents just plain need to be woken up.
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

<div>I tried a few times. I would make direct eye contact with her mother and say "Oh let me open this one it might brake" and her mom would just give me a weak smile and not say anything. My mom asked her to go sit with her mother and the little girl didn't and the mom didn't do anything. </div><div>
</div><div>I went to a family Christmas party when me and FI very first started dating and this same girl did the same thing opening up every.single.persons presents. That was the last time I saw them though which was few years ago. </div>