Groom's family unsupportive
So the problem is simple. My future hubby's family has not bothered to meet me yet, except for his mom and dad. We have been together for almost three years and we announced we were getting married a year ago. The only family that is coming for the groom are his parents and I have a bunch of mine attending. He's such a sweet man and my family loves him and is so happy for the both of us..yet, his family has not congratulated us, bothered to contact us or even wish us the best, they have ignored our RSVP date, and have even gone as far to be rude to me. I just don’t know what to do since I can tell he is upset but isn’t willing to outwardly admit it …I can’t make them come to the wedding if they do not want to, but is it too much to expect at least a card or a call to congratulate him/us? I dont even expect a gift or money but just a "we wish you the best"..
PS: ….His parents have refused to help pay for the wedding at all, me and my hubby are paying for most of it and my parents have volunteered to go into debt to help us pay for the rest…so even though his parents are coming they have not supported him very much either.
Re: Groom's family unsupportive
Some people just aren't that close with their family -- don't worry if his aunts and uncles aren't coming. It's no big deal.
2. What have you done to attempt to meet them? It's a two way street, dear.
3. Maybe they feel slighted because they thinkk you haven't bothered to try to meet them.
4. If you let your parents go into debt to fund your wedding, you're a terrible brat and I feel bad for your parents.
5. Support does not equal funding.
6. There's nothing you can do but support your "hubby" (ick)
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
7. Maybe theyre acting the way they are because you asked them for money and then turned into a brat when they didn't want to (weren't able to?) help.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
You're expecting people to RSVP over two months in advance?
[QUOTE]You're expecting people to RSVP over two months in advance?
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
Seriously. Her wedding is the day after mine and my invitations don't even go out until next week.
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And again, support =/= money. His parents are not obligated to pay and if they can't afford it, at least they are logical enough to not go into debt over it.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
IAll I wanted was some support for my hubby from his family because I have been blessed with a bunch from mine. AND YES the RSVP date is two months in advance because of our lifestyle and we have kindly offered to give everyone an extra month to RSVP if they needed it. You're all extremely rude and assume quite a bit of information without asking.
Grammar is important.
[QUOTE]I did not ask anybody for money, not his or my parents. My father has volunteered to help us pay and I told him personally that I did not want him to, yet I cannot do anything to change his mind and he claims it is his responsibility to help and to consider it our wedding gift. Dont call me a brat or bad daughter because that isnt what this situation was about, and it is far from the truth. IAll I wanted was some support for my hubby from his family because I have been blessed with a bunch from mine. AND YES the RSVP date is two months in advance <strong>because of our lifestyle</strong> and we have kindly offered to give everyone an extra month to RSVP if they needed it. You're all extremely rude and assume quite a bit of information without asking.
Posted by mccnatalie[/QUOTE]
What does this even mean?
Tell me more.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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[QUOTE]I did not ask anybody for money, not his or my parents. My father has volunteered to help us pay and I told him personally that I did not want him to, yet I cannot do anything to change his mind and he claims it is his responsibility to help and to consider it our wedding gift. Dont call me a brat or bad daughter because that isnt what this situation was about, and it is far from the truth. IAll I wanted was some support for my hubby from his family because I have been blessed with a bunch from mine. <strong>AND YES the RSVP date is two months in advance because of our lifestyle</strong> and we have kindly offered to give everyone an extra month to RSVP if they needed it. You're all extremely rude and assume quite a bit of information without asking.
Posted by mccnatalie[/QUOTE]
What does this mean? Also, if you're giving everyone one more month to RSVP, then the deadline isn't really for another month, correct? How did you word that on the RSVP cards?
We can only go off what you write in your post, so if there is extra pertinent information, then it's your job to include it. I would still tell my parents, "Mom and Dad, I don't want you going into debt over my wedding." if they insist on paying for something, then have them pay for something cheaper that won't put them into debt.
[QUOTE]If you didn't ask, how did they "refuse?" Grammar is important.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
Because they brought it up on their own unprovoked
[QUOTE]Okay I get needing RSVP's early, a friend of mine needed there's super early due to a venue requirement and catering, but your lifestyle?
Posted by mari0225[/QUOTE]
Yes by life style I mean I'm starting clinicals (med student) in the fall, my fiance works 6 out of 7 days of the week. And I wanted to make all the favors/centerpieces/decor/ etc by hand. I spent 3 months making invitations by hand.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Groom's family unsupportive : Yes by life style I mean I'm starting clinicals (med student) in the fall, my fiance works 6 out of 7 days of the week. And I wanted to make all the favors/centerpieces/decor/ etc by hand. I spent 3 months making invitations by hand.
Posted by mccnatalie[/QUOTE]
I don't have any idea why any of this requires a 2 month RSVP date.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Groom's family unsupportive : Yes by life style I mean I'm starting clinicals (med student) in the fall, my fiance works 6 out of 7 days of the week. And I wanted to make all the favors/centerpieces/decor/ etc by hand. <strong>I spent 3 months making invitations by hand.
</strong>Posted by mccnatalie[/QUOTE]
Why? If you're so busy that you need to be a huge pain in the ass to your guests, maybe it's not a great time to be getting married. You have some odd priorities to say the least.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Groom's family unsupportive : This has nothing to do with your lifestyle. I don't think you know what that word means. How are your parents forcing you to take their money? <strong>Are they shoving hundies up your ass?</strong>
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]
Now THIS is a lifestyle.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
If you are busy, why would you handmake invitations? That doesn't make sense. As far as centerpieces, etc., you can probably figure out approx. how many people you think will come or a minimum. For instance we invited 170 people and I knew from talking to guests ahead of time, we would not have less than 100 show up. So i could've made enough centerpieces for that amount of tables and then when the rest of the RSVP's came in, make any more that you need.
[QUOTE]I was making things by hand to save money and make things more special for everybody. And if you dont get why that "lifestyle" shows we are extremely limited in our time to make everything, then dont comment on this since you obviously do not understand. Its so I can make sure that all my guests have enough food/booze/favors/chairs to sit on/ and so on <strong>so I dont get why making an RSVP date a little early is such a bad thing.
</strong>Posted by mccnatalie[/QUOTE]
FINE. Make it early. But then don't blame your guests for thinking you're ridiculous and not RSVPing in a timely manner because they don't know what their god damn plans are yet.
And it's not a little early. it's like 6 weeks early. That's a big deal. I'm starting to think it's clear that YOU'RE the reason things got off to a bad start with his family.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]I would not be able to know for a fact that I was able to come to your wedding two months ahead of time.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
You'd think a future doctor would understand tha better than anyone!
[QUOTE]I was making things by hand to save money and make things more special for everybody. And if you dont get why that "lifestyle" shows we are extremely limited in our time to make everything, then dont comment on this since you obviously do not understand. Its so I can make sure that all my guests have enough food/booze/favors/chairs to sit on/ and so on so I dont get why making an RSVP date a little early is such a bad thing.
Posted by mccnatalie[/QUOTE]
<div>If you are so busy, then don't make things by hand. Very simple. Why don't you understand?</div><div>
</div><div>And because not everyone knows their schedule so far in advance. Expect to be chasing up RSVPs forever. Oh wait, you don't have time, you'll just have to guess. </div>
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