I made a KPS about this, but it was more of a Dear Abby, so it probably won’t get posted (and if Mandy(?) sees this, she can ignore it). Sorry this is long. CN at the bottom.I need advice. I snooped in my new H’s Facebook. I know that’s a crime in itself, and I have trust and insecurity issues. We’ve talked a lot about it, and he has been so understanding in the past. H is a big flirt, and he has tried to curtail it for my benefit. This is not the first time I’ve snooped, and when I’ve admitted it to him, he has been kind, but asked me not to do it. He’s said if I want to look at anything, let him know, and he’ll look through it with me (e-mail, FB,etc).
Well, a couple weeks ago he had a conversation with a girl where he flirted with her heavily and even told her she looked great naked.I don’t think he knew her before we were together.In this same conversation he also talked about how much he loved being married and how I make him so happy. She was having a problem because she slept with a friend, but it didn’t mean anything to him, but it meant a lot to her. H did the same thing right before we got together, and he said he had no advice for her, because when he met me, he got over the friend.
Later she said that I “deserved someone great” like him. He said “thanks, haven’t always deserved her (as you know) but doing my best.”
Her: “True. We all make mistakes.”
Him: “True, but at the same time can I call it that? I don’t regret it. But probably would if it was post wedding.”
What do I do? Is it my punishment to live with this conversation and possible infidelity because I snooped? Could I be misinterpreting that? Should we have a come-to-Jesus moment and put it all on the table- my snooping and his flirting? I feel so guilty, but I don’t think I can ignore what I’ve seen. I don’t want us to end, but I’m seriously afraid.
CN: I snooped on H's FB and found some bad stuff in a conversation. Do I bring it up? How? What would you do?