Wedding Etiquette Forum

Never again?

I believe this makes three weeks running of no FFF. I know a lot of people said they liked not having it, and I guess I could take it or leave it either way, although I always found it entertaining. I don't know how to add a clicky poll, so we're gonna do this old school.

Did you like FFF? Why or why not?
Do you think we should do it again? If you do, with what frequency?

Or, if you don't wanna talk about FFF, just insert random ramlbings. I'm super effing bored.
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Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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Re: Never again?

  • I think that it's been too dead over here.  Most of our dramz is gone now!  But, I think we should definitely do it every now and again.

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  • Haha, I just posted in the KPS thread below and said:

    THe most recent KPS poster says "I miss FFF. I wish someone would start one".  Uhhhh, why doesn't the KPS poster just start one then?  WTF?  (but not now because it's too dead and too late in the day).

    I like FFF.  I think it's a good way to blow off steam and what not.  But I think everyone is afraid to start one because so many people said they didn't like it.  Also, the board has been getting along well and kind of dead lately, so maybe there just isn't much to flame about?  I don't know.

    I'm sure it will come back one week when there's some drama going down.
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  • Yeah, my flamethrower is all out of fuel. Even if we had done it the past three weeks, I don't think I would have had much to contribute. I can't think of anyone who's really ticked me off enough.
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  • I don't like the idea of FFF but I did read it.  I just think if you have a problem with someone you should tell them via PM or something.  I read it and I would participate via responding to something or contributing to a conversation but I don't think I ever flamed someone. 

    I'm ok with it not happening anymore not only for my previous reasons but also because it's just too dead around here. 
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  • I don't typically flame but I miss FFF.  It was always a good read on Fridays.
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  • Doing it in a PM would be SO much worse, because it would be so personal and confrontational.  Yikes.  That would be some serious drama.  At least with FFF, people can comment and either agree or disagree and the person being talked about can choose to ignore or respond.  A PM is just too personal IMO.
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  • I like it. I'm too chicken to start it, but I've been hoping for one the last few weeks. I think every other week would be fine... it was starting to become the same thread every.single.week.

    I've seen little bits of drama popping up in other threads lately. I think if an FFF started, plenty would come out.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:e2d53fb2-209a-434f-bc4f-3adfdf403c86">Re: Never again?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Doing it in a PM would be SO much worse, because it would be so personal and confrontational.  Yikes.  That would be some serious drama.  At least with FFF, people can comment and either agree or disagree and the person being talked about can choose to ignore or respond.  A PM is just too personal IMO.
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]
    I completely agree.
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • SnShne322SnShne322 member
    100 Comments
    edited July 2010
    I don't usually participate, but I definitely read it.  I've been missing it the last couple of weeks.  Maybe there is some middle ground regular post we could do though.  Some people hate FFF and others (myself included) don't like the lovefest posts either.
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  • For a while, we were doing it every week and people complained that there was nothing to flame. But people usually found something. I agree that I have no flames this week, but it would be nice to bring it back. for the entertainment value. I like reading the super-long threads, like I judge or unpopular opinions.
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  • I like FFF, personally.  I like being able to get stuff that's irritating me off my chest.  I sort of feel like it's the accepted time here to do that, and if you call somebody out otherwise, it either goes unnoticed, or looks like you're singling somebody out that they're SO MUCH WORSE than the rest of the annoyances around.  FFF's a callout, but in the midst of all the other callouts it seems less obnoxious to me. 
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Do you have something you need to get off your chest LC?  It's ok - we're here for you.  Just change your title to FFF. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:5e5fe32f-1ad7-43e8-9a6e-34e5a2a34508">Re: Never again?</a>:
    [QUOTE]For a while, we were doing it every week and people complained that there was nothing to flame. But people usually found something. I agree that I have no flames this week, but it would be nice to bring it back. for the entertainment value. I like reading the super-long threads, like I judge or <strong>unpopular opinions</strong>.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    I particularly like the unpopular opinion threads.  It at least gets people debating.  I feel like the I Judge posts often turn into people defending why they shouldn't be judged on something even though it's never anything personal.
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  • I get so bored with the I Judge and Unpopular Opinions threads.  Maybe that's why I like FFF, I'd rather read long posts that actually have stuff to do with the boards not dog breeders vs. shelters or unpopular opinions that aren't really.  I usually get through the 1st page of those posts and then zone out and move on.  That's just me though. 


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  • Agreed Dani - they end up migrating to the same subject they just argued 2 weeks prior.  I think we've heard the dog argument 3 times since April. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:95d01a37-0b90-4852-bc2a-4f30dbc7c0c4">Re: Never again?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you have something you need to get off your chest LC?  It's ok - we're here for you.  Just change your title to FFF. 
    Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
    Haha, no, I really don't. Not that I can think of anyway. I just wanted to gauge everyone's opinion on whether or not they liked not having it, or missed it.
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • I'd like I Judge threads better if it was "I Judge Knottie X for_____". 

    Confessions threads annoy me. 

    Unpopular opinions I generally like - provided they don't go down an obscure rat hole before page 10.
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • I can take it or leave it. it can be entertaining to read, but if it turns into cattiness, I stop reading. and I never participate because people don't generally irritate me that much... and if they do, I've forgotten about it by Friday because it just doesn't matter anyway.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:9b215421-e86c-49ca-9e3f-f0925d6e704f">Re: Never again?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I like FFF, personally.  I like being able to get stuff that's irritating me off my chest.  I sort of feel like it's the accepted time here to do that, and if you call somebody out otherwise, it either goes unnoticed, or looks like you're singling somebody out that they're SO MUCH WORSE than the rest of the annoyances around.  FFF's a callout, but in the midst of all the other callouts it seems less obnoxious to me. 
    Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

    That's a great point.  If you just went around calling people out throughout the week, you'd be labeled a bitch.  If you do it in FFF, it's totally fine.
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  • Actually I'd rather be PMed.  It shouldn't but FFF bothers me.  At least if I was PMed for something stupid I said, then that would happen privately between me and that person, and not between someone saying "AATB is a twit" and then a bunch of other people jumping in and agreeing with it.

    I've enjoyed not having FFF.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:ba9e8659-6a94-4257-8f29-3245dd205a2d">Re: Never again?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I'd like I Judge threads better if it was "I Judge Knottie X for_____".  </strong>Confessions threads annoy me.  Unpopular opinions I generally like - provided they don't go down an obscure rat hole before page 10.
    Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

    See, I think a lot of times something on the boards sparks at least some of the I Judge stuff, which is sort of like passive-agressive FFF. Like, "I judge people who don't clean up their dog's poop. *cough*Lala*cough*"

    I don't mind non-E-related judgements because passive-agressive knocks at other posters are sort of lame. And I like discussing all kinds of things. But agressive-agressive knocks at other posters (FFF) are ballsy-er and therefore more entertaining.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:15b71fa8-4b93-4b52-8131-f589719896a6">Re: Never again?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never again? : See, I think a lot of times something on the boards sparks at least some of the I Judge stuff, which is sort of like passive-agressive FFF. Like, "I judge people who don't clean up their dog's poop. *cough*Lala*cough*" I don't mind non-E-related judgements because passive-agressive knocks at other posters are sort of lame. And I like discussing all kinds of things. But agressive-agressive knocks at other posters (FFF) are ballsy-er and therefore more entertaining.
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

    This. This. This.
  • I think it's more personal to flame someone and then allow a bunch of other people to join in on it and attack them.  To me, it seems group-think/bully-ish.  If you have a problem with someone and it really bothers you, talk to them about it.  If it's not worth talking to them about it then you should let it go. 
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  • Mery, I tihnk that's why I'd prefer it if it were a REAL callout.  Not a half assed one. 
    As for PMs - I think it's completely possible to handle something that's bothered you via PM.  But, it has to be done carefully and gently and such.  It can't be "I hate you because you said X".  But, "I'm really hurt that you feel this way about X situation and I hope that we can resolve this difference," could work. 

    I also know that people get butthurt over FFF, and some of them are probably right to be really upset.  BUT, we've also seen people who've actually learned something about themselves from it and gotten better.  So, it's a double edged sword. 

    I think the biggest thing is that if people can keep their comments aimed at what somebody did or said, rather than who they are, it's better.  "You suck as a human because you think champagne is the best thing in the world," is just dumb and offensive.  "I really hate it when you let your love for champagne cloud your judgment and can't acknowledge that it has flaws too," would be much less controversial. 

    (Disclaimer:  I have no issues with champagne, although the cheap stuff is gross.)
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Well LC since you invited us to talk about random stuff... I'm still at work with an hour to go and one of my coworkers just brought me a nice, cold, frosty beer. And I remembered why I love working here. Hehe.

  • I like FFF but I'm generally naive and don't have good flames.

    Except that now that I'm married, I think my month board sucks and is boring because its all AWs.

    See? Lame.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:81e4dfa1-0bbe-482f-a1db-457f21127229">Re: Never again?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well LC since you invited us to talk about random stuff... I'm still at work with an hour to go and one of my coworkers just brought me a nice, cold, frosty beer. And I remembered why I love working here. Hehe.
    Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]
    Awesome. We keep a pretty decent amount of booze in our work kitchen. No one cares if you drink in the afternoon, so long as you're on top of your business.
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
  • Yeah, in FFF if others chime in, maybe it's a chance for you to see that one person isn't the only one that feels a certain way about the way you act on the boards.  I don't mean you personally A&H, I mean the collective you.  Kiki is a good example and she'll freely admit it.  She left for a while and came back and now she's awesome. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:eb957273-e96b-49bf-9990-9b7007c1d9ed">Re: Never again?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Never again? : Awesome. We keep a pretty decent amount of booze in our work kitchen. No one cares if you drink in the afternoon, so long as you're on top of your business.
    Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

    Same here. As long as the work's done, do what you gotta do. My FIRST DAY here the owner went out at lunch and came back with 3 pizzas, a case of beer, and a 5th of whiskey. I'd never seen this type of behavior in an office before, I thought they were testing me and refused to drink it until someone else did. Lol!

    We've got wine and booze in the back... usually someone has to go on a beer run if we want beer because we drink it all.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_never-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b8a3a4b4-faab-4c78-8dd8-d22e7b66231ePost:5dbe173b-2639-49cc-8a96-a544d2ebc236">Re: Never again?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, in FFF if others chime in, maybe it's a chance for you to see that one person isn't the only one that feels a certain way about the way you act on the boards.  I don't mean you personally A&H, I mean the collective you.  Kiki is a good example and she'll freely admit it.  She left for a while and came back and now she's awesome. 
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    Hmm, good point.  That is helpful.  I just hate how catty women get when they are "together" and when they gang up on people.  More often than not, the flames I've noticed are just bitch moves. 
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