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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Guests Who Won't RSVP
I have an aunt and an uncle who failed to respond to my RSVP. I tried e-mailing, calling (left a couple of messages), Facebook (even though I don't think they use it much), even asking their daughter (my cousin) to ask them to call me so I can get guest count information. Nothing.
Finally, after a few weeks of this, I asked my dad to give them a call. They answered that time, and said they weren't sure if they would be able to attend yet.
So although that was a bit frustrating, I accepted it since my venue does allow a little flexibility with the guest count up until a few days before.
But here is is a week and a half before the wedding, and they still haven't gotten back to me. I'm going to call (again) today, but I honestly have my doubts about whether they will answer the phone -- I really feel like they're avoiding me for some weird reason. I heard from other relatives that this aunt and uncle NEVER RSVP for anything, even when people call and ask.
So what's a good message? I was thinking of something like this: "Hi, this is ___________. Just checking in to see if you can attend the big day next Saturday. Please give me a call at _____________ to let me know. We'd love to see you there! If I don't hear from you by Sunday, I'll assume you aren't able to make it." I feel a little rude about the last part, but I also don't want them to not respond, then show up at the wedding.
Finally, after a few weeks of this, I asked my dad to give them a call. They answered that time, and said they weren't sure if they would be able to attend yet.
So although that was a bit frustrating, I accepted it since my venue does allow a little flexibility with the guest count up until a few days before.
But here is is a week and a half before the wedding, and they still haven't gotten back to me. I'm going to call (again) today, but I honestly have my doubts about whether they will answer the phone -- I really feel like they're avoiding me for some weird reason. I heard from other relatives that this aunt and uncle NEVER RSVP for anything, even when people call and ask.
So what's a good message? I was thinking of something like this: "Hi, this is ___________. Just checking in to see if you can attend the big day next Saturday. Please give me a call at _____________ to let me know. We'd love to see you there! If I don't hear from you by Sunday, I'll assume you aren't able to make it." I feel a little rude about the last part, but I also don't want them to not respond, then show up at the wedding.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Guests Who Won't RSVP
They are EXTREMELY rude.
something like that. But your not being rude setting a deadline. They are being extremely rude, especially since if you dont get an answer and include them in your headcount ur paying for ppl who dont come. I did mention that is we dont hear from you, we will not be able to reserve a seat for you since I figured if they were rude enough to just show up, I wouldnt feel bad if they didnt have a seat because I told them they wouldnt.
Good luck!
edit: spelling and words and whatnot.
[QUOTE]I agree with everyone else that they're super rude, but I'm also wondering why, if you only needed a final headcount a few days before the wedding, you set and RSVP date early enough that you've been hounding them for weeks . It seems like you set a really RSVP date!
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
I was thinking this too. I like the give them until tomorrow night to decide, then put them on the NO side.
[QUOTE]I agree with everyone else that they're super rude, but I'm also wondering why, if you only needed a final headcount a few days before the wedding, you set an RSVP date early enough that you've been hounding them for weeks . It seems like you set a really early RSVP date! edit: spelling and words and whatnot.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
Her wedding date is June 9th so I imagine her RSVP date was probably at the beginning of May. I thought that was pretty normal for most people. I would want to give myself the time to track people down and do the tables etc.
[QUOTE]I agree with everyone else that they're super rude, but I'm also wondering why, if you only needed a final headcount a few days before the wedding, you set an RSVP date early enough that you've been hounding them for weeks . It seems like you set a really early RSVP date! edit: spelling and words and whatnot.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
and I'm wondering why it matters? Even if her venue doesn't require a final headcount a few days before, there are other vendors that might? Regardless, I don't see why it matters at all to subject of the OP. Seems to me that your just grasping for something flameful?
Weird.
A branch of my fiance's family who live reasonably close to where we are marrying have not responded, and they have been offered free accommodation at the site of the reception. Makes me disposed to dislike them before event meeting them because they won't commit to attending the event, now just 1 month away.
Stop the Zombie Thread Uprising!
I remember someone saying awhile ago that people might be thinking the thread date was the posters' wedding date. I know I've thought that once or twice when I first came here. Regardless they should still be locked. You can still search for and read threads that have relevance to the situation but it would stop pointless posting.
After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!
While it's rude to not respond, I have several older relatives with health issues, they have good days where they are up to going out, but will unexpectedly have bad days where they just aren't able to leave the house.
While they may really want to attend an event, they don't know until that day if they will feel up to it, and may waffle back and forth afraid to commit. It would be nice if someone (maybe another older relative) suggested that if they aren't sure, then you have to assume they aren't attending because you need a final head count or it costs you extra money for the catering.