Who to invite to the ceremony

nicoleeichelberger

I am having my ceremony and wedding in two different locations. They are about 25 - 30 minutes from each other. My mother seems to think I should write on the invitation "Family and close friends in attendance only". She doesn't think that we should inconvenience our out of towners. I think we should word of mouth tell people they are more than welcome to come to both but they may skip the ceremony if it's too much traveling. What am I supposed to do? Do I just invite everyone to both and not say anything or do I write something on the invitation that the ceremony is for friends and close family? Is anyone else having this problem? Thanks any help is appreciated.

RyansBelovedBride

Invite everyone.  The ceremony is the actual wedding, after all. Without a ceremony, a reception is just a nice party.

kate2188

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c05dd81b-9edd-493e-a46c-463e3e48fd8ePost:ded5650a-18a5-43cb-a2b9-de7b8679a565">Who to invite to the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I am having my ceremony and wedding in two different locations. They are about 25 - 30 minutes from each other. My mother seems to think I should write on the invitation "Family and close friends in attendance only". <strong>She doesn't think that we should inconvenience our out of towners</strong>. I think we should word of mouth tell people they are more than welcome to come to both but they may skip the ceremony if it's too much traveling. What am I supposed to do? Do I just invite everyone to both and not say anything or do I write something on the invitation that the ceremony is for friends and close family? Is anyone else having this problem? Thanks any help is appreciated.
Posted by nicoleeichelberger[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I can say there is no way I would travel from OOT if I thought I was just invited to the reception. If people want to skip the ceremony due to the travel, they will, you don't need to spread that it would be OK if they did that by word of mouth. I would leave what your mom wants off the invitation.

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J&K10910

Oddly enough, most adults are capable of deciding for themselves if they want to attend both the ceremony and reception or just one or the other. 

pgcp

I would be pretty offended to get an invitation worded that way.  I'd hear in my head "Hi, we want you to travel and bring a gift, but not come to the main event because, well, you aren't actually close enough to see us get married." 

Also, wouldn't you feel terrible if a good friend didn't go to the ceremony because she was afraid she wasn't close enough to make the cut of what you were defining as a close friend?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If you have the budget, you can rent a shuttle to help transport the OOT guests to and from the ceremony and reception. If not, they can carpool or rent cars. No problem.

cashkitty

I would say invite everyone and let them decide what they can come to.

lyndausvi

This is an odd question to me.   Most weddings I attended included having to go to 2 locations.  Generally they were 15-20 mins apart.  30 minutes is pushing the envelope, but it's not terrible.   

Just invite everyone to both. 

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c05dd81b-9edd-493e-a46c-463e3e48fd8ePost:c08b83aa-bf59-46c7-8b49-aced4fdbec6b">Re: Who to invite to the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone should be invited to everything. If you don't invite the out of towners to the wedding, they would be doing all that traveling just for a dinner party. Presumably they are making the trip because they want to see you and your FI get married.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
This. <div>
</div><div>Plus, if you're wanting to give them the option to come to both, or either one if you put "family and close friends in attendance" will most likely discourage them from coming.</div>

Loopyseven

Invite them all to both.  Let your OOT guests decide for themselves what is an inconvenience or not.  

Erin Nov11

Invite everyone to both and let them decide if the travel is too much. A 25-30min drive between is not unusual and if I had traveled from OOT to attend your wedding, I'd be annoyed if it was just to attend the reception. 

Writing 'Family and close friends only' may not work either - what about OOT family or close friends? Are they invited? Even as someone who loves locally, I would be uncomfortable attending if I wasn't sure if i was considered a 'close friend' or not.