Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Etiquette Forum
jmolas
member
Old friends coming out of the woodwork....WTF.
I've had at least THREE instances where people just assume they're going to be invited. We changed our FB statues (FBO!!) to engaged and:
1) My friend from HS (note...almost 8 years ago) messaged me and asked what kinda of beer I wanted her to brew for my wedding and that her new bf is looking forward to meeting me in my wedding dress!
2) One girl I still am close to e-mailed 5 or 6 girls I USED to be close to in college and haven't spoken to since saying, "Does everybody plan on being there at the wedding next spring? It'll be like a reunion!"
3) An old friend I don't talk to anymore messages me to ask for the wedding date so he can make sure to get tickets early.
It's an epidemic! How do I deal with all these people? Right now, I've chosen to ignore, but something tells me I can't do that for long.
1) My friend from HS (note...almost 8 years ago) messaged me and asked what kinda of beer I wanted her to brew for my wedding and that her new bf is looking forward to meeting me in my wedding dress!
2) One girl I still am close to e-mailed 5 or 6 girls I USED to be close to in college and haven't spoken to since saying, "Does everybody plan on being there at the wedding next spring? It'll be like a reunion!"
3) An old friend I don't talk to anymore messages me to ask for the wedding date so he can make sure to get tickets early.
It's an epidemic! How do I deal with all these people? Right now, I've chosen to ignore, but something tells me I can't do that for long.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Old friends coming out of the woodwork....WTF.
Ohhh and not saying that you are, but I would avoid sharing details on FB. The whole relationship status is one thing, but dont share any further details of the planning process
If you're closer than that, just say that you're not able to invite everyone you want to, but you'd love to catch up another time (if that's true). Weddings make people a little crazy, and sometimes people say things about wanting to be invited or expecting to be invited when they don't really mean them. Don't worry about it too much.
[QUOTE]How far out is your wedding? If you just got engaged, I would just tell them you haven't figured out a guest list yet, but you're wanting to keep it small. If you're closer than that, just say that you're not able to invite everyone you want to, but you'd love to catch up another time (if that's true). Weddings make people a little crazy, and sometimes people say things about wanting to be invited or expecting to be invited when they don't really mean them. Don't worry about it too much.
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]
This. Unless they are banging on your door asking for an invite I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just don't put the wedding date/time on FB and they'll figure it out when they don't get an invitation.
i would listen to the advice of the PPs. if you haven't talked to them in many years, i would hope they won't get too offended if they aren't invited
I do ask about addresses on FB, but that is only by PMing the person or persons privately.
I agree with PPs - I would not worry too much about it.
[QUOTE]I am having this same problem! I have gotten a couple "when is the wedding?" emails and FB messages from people I had no intention on inviting. I handled it horribly though - I responded with the date to one person, but nothing more. They then responded that they were so excited to see me in my dress, etc. Does that mean I inadvertantly invited them? Just by telling them the date?
Posted by ajroark[/QUOTE]
I don't think so. If you LITERALLY only told them the date, then no, it's not an invite. However, if you said "it's on X date and we can't wait to see you" then you've invited them.
The first time she posted it, I just deleted the message. A few weeks later, she posted it again. So I deleted it again and sent her a PM telling her it was a family and close friends only wedding. Her reply, "Ok." Haven't heard from her since. Problem solved!
OP, it's awkward, but nip it in the bud ASAP. Another poster a few days ago had univited guests book a room in her wedding block. The sooner you tell these randoms that they will not be receiving an invite, the less likely even more awkward situations will pop up!