Not paying for Day-After Brunch?

kikibaby

If you think you received 'snarky' replies, you clearly haven't lurked her.  You got off really easy.

Audrey&Austin

We haven't decided if we are going to do a day-after brunch. If we did it would be a very informal "We're planning on having brunch here, we'd love it if you could join us". We don't have a money source to go beg for extra money, so we don't plan on hosting it. And FWIW, our wedding is going to be pretty formal. Get over the fact that you want it to be tea with the queen. 

andy71781

I totally understand how that would be irritating to read and I apologize for being so insensitive. 

I would like to point out to certain posters that, as  I previously stated, because of the low cost of the brunch I should be able to work that within our current budget.  Aka - we have all the money that we need to pay for it.  I'm glad that is cleared up.  Thanks for all of your advice.   

danieliza1127

I don't think there's anything wrong at all with having help paying for your wedding.  I just think it's kind of crazy that you want your Dad to pay another $1,000 for a day after breakfast that is totally unnecessary, especially when if you just made it more casual/word of mouth, people could just pay for themselves.

CTGirl30

Seriosuly - after a formal reception the night before it might be nice to have a very casual brunch where guests aren't feeling like they need to get all dressed up all over again. Make it casual, throw the word out that if anyone wants to join you'll be at the diner at whatever time and go from there.  Brunches are by no means required - you'll see everyone sending you off the night before at the wedding - so the brunch can naturally be a smaller and more casual thing. We're not even having one since we're leaving for our HM the next day but if you're dead set on one, keep it casual - word of mouth (as opposed to you inviting and therefore people expecting you to host it and pay for it)- and you don't need to worry about budgeting  the $1,000 since ppl will pay for themselves if they care to join.

kristend72

Regardless of the money, I think you may want to reconsider the brunch. Especially if you've been working that much. I think by the time the next morning rolls around, you're just going to want to sleep in, hang out in your pajamas, and 'let your gut out'. That's my term for when you're not in public and you can just breathe. I think this is even more true if you're planning to move right after, too. Believe me, I understand wanting to spend as much time as possible with people while they're in town but I just think you're going to be too fried to enjoy it.

Calypso1977

I just think it's kind of crazy that you want your Dad to pay another $1,000 for a day after breakfast that is totally unnecessary,

agreed, especially considering you told us you are a doctor and a lawyer and the two of you together probably make more money than your dad.

mica178

My FI hates morning-after brunches and always skips them, so we're not having one.

Most morning-after brunches are hosted by the couple if their parents pay for the wedding or by the parents if the couple pays, or sometimes by the couple if they couple paid and everyone is staying nearby.  I don't meet many parents of the bride that are excited to pay for another event after they hosted a formal wedding.

Oh, and moonlighting is a possibility.  Third year IM residents tend to have rotations that are lighter, and all of the engaged or married guys (and most of us girls) moonlit to have extra money.  It's done.

ETA: my parents are paying for my wedding too, but I don't refer to them as "money sources," and if I wanted a hosted brunch the next morning, I'd pay for it myself because I wouldn't ask for an extra $1000 after all they've done for me.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-paying-day-after-brunch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ccdda820-9236-4a7c-b299-6942d2285fb7Post:b7badde5-05e9-4816-b5bd-2e8f6e645ee8">Re: Not paying for Day-After Brunch?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hmmm when you are an internal medicine resident working 80 hours a week on the South Side of Chicago its kind of hard to "pick up some extra shifts" - same thing goes for an attorney who has borne the brunt of major salary cuts due to the recession.  I agree that my comment re "money source" was not in the best of taste but I hardly think I should be heckled for having somebody (my dad) help me pay for the wedding.  But, as I stated before, I think that we have room in our budget for the brunch so it will be paid for.  Wow sometimes people on here are a little too snarky.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

<div>You aren't getting heckled for your parents paying.  You are getting a reaction for "begging" for more money.  You should be grateful for what your parents have offered.  Not going back to ask for more to throw a totally unnecessary party.  </div>

lopezk

I just dont see why you NEED to have a brunch in the first place... isn't the reception a good enough/big enough send off? I say spare your dad the extra $1000 and let him spend it on himself after everything he just did for you and your FH.

Jodipi314

If you mention to people that you'll be at the diner, and they know that you're moving soon and won't see you in a long time, most of them will show up to the diner.  They have to eat breakfast, why not with you?  We got lucky, the hotel we're using for OOT guests threw in a banquet breakfast for free the next day in a ballroom, but if you have to pay for it, during a continental is not that expensive.  Check with the hotel that your OOT's are staying at.

Moneypenny424

I'd also consider keeping it casual.  It may be a nice way to unwind the next day.

We had a nice brunch the next day, which my parents insisted on (we had a lot of international family there).  Not sure how much it cost, but probably $40/pp.  Expensive but worth it for us.  I actually just wanted to sleep in a bit and maybe order room service the next morning!

Glad you saw that your comment re money source sounded bad.  Calypso, we don't know her parents' situation and although she's a doctor, she's a resident, so she isn't making much right now.

Calypso1977

money, true, adn that was a big generaliztion as there are lawyers in particular that dont make that much.   still, i assume a chicago attorney, even with cutbacks is still probably  making pretty good unless he's a PD.

i think i mostly didnt like her whiny entitled attitude.

2dBride

We had a brunch the day after the wedding.  It involved offering people eggs, cereal, toast, juice and coffee.  We got the materials out of the refrigerator, and prepared them ourselves.

andy71781

Update! 

So....I took into account many of your suggestions and went to talk to the building manager of the apartments we live in now.  We are moving 2 months before the wedding but the wedding is down the street from our current apartment.  So anyway, she told me I could rent out the club room for $100, that includes a kitchen.  I think that having a more casual, come hang out with us if you want, brunch is what we will be craving more than "tea with the queen."  So thank you for those of you who gave me advice!

Menu suggestions?  We live by an Ann Sather so we will for sure getting some yummy cinnamon rolls.