Thoughts

mkrupar

So there's this couple that's getting married on 10/10/10, which I know lots of girls are. They, however, are having their reception/dinner first, then having their ceremony at 10:00pm by candlelight, so they can tell everyone they got married on 10/10/10 at 10 (which FI points out that it's really 2200 hours).

So, I ask the following:

Are numbers in dates really that important to you? ie: when you were planning was the date or order of numbers super important?

As a guest, would it be strange to have reception/dinner first, then ceremony?

My answers:
1) I think the event is what makes a date special, not the other way around.

2) I think I might be a little drunk by the time the ceremony rolled around, or tired. I don't know what they're doing after the ceremony, but it feels a little anti-climactic.

kellyjellybelly

We picked a random date - I wanted something in the summer so that my mom and most of my friends (who work in schools) would be off of work since we did a DW.  That was my only requirement for a date

I would most likely be drunk by the time a ceremony rolled around at 10pm

zippityb

I think being drunk would help me enjoy the ceremony more.

alixzafiris

Are numbers in dates really that important to you?
Nope.

As a guest, would it be strange to have reception/dinner first, then ceremony?
Nope.

squirrly

That's crazy.  Ceremony FIRST.  Having a pre-ceremony cocktail hour (or 30 minutes) is cool, but a whole reception?  No.  What if you spill food?  Are you going to unbustle your dress for the ceremony?  You can't be introduced as Mr. and Mrs., you can't have a first dance, no toasts. . . I don't get it.

shaydenise

No, our date was chosen around the Gator football season.

Unless it was a very close relative or friend I wouldn't go to a wedding that was a 10pm on a Sunday when I have to wake up at 5am the next day.  Just my opinion though

MrsMLRB

I'd be a little annoyed by this. 10-10-10 is a Sunday according to my caledar means I have to be at work the next day by 7 AM. So I have to stay until 10:30 to watch your ceremony and then drive home and be up a few hours later for work.

The date didn't matter to us but we wanted the Sunday of a holiday weekend for religious purposes and because we have a large OOT guest list. But the fact that it was a special arrangement of numbers did not amtter at all.

waltzingmatilda13

We picked a month a year out. We picked a random Saturday. The date meant nothing to us at the time.

cengle

No, dates/numbers themselves aren't that important to me. We got married on the date that worked best for us--which was really the only Saturday in a several-month period that would have worked.

I've been to one wedding like that, but it was a small NYE wedding at the couple's home, where they had the actual ceremony at midnight.  They did that for tax purposes; it made more financial sense to get married 1/1/10 than 12/31/09.  I didn't think it was weird then, but just to get married at 10:00?  Yeah, that's odd.  I roll my eyes at that type of "logic."

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Okay, I'm a 10-10-10 bride and I think that's crazy. They should do it at 10am if they really want to.

It's just that 10-10-10 was convenient to what I wanted. I'm from upstate NY, so the middle of October is the most beautiful time of year. I've always wanted to get married in October. FI is from MA and feels the same way. The second or third weekend of October worked for us. The second weekend happens to be Columbus Day and a lot of people have off. 10-10-10 is a Sunday, so slightly cheaper, and yes, it seemed fun.

I am going to be exhausted by the end of the day. I am going to be SO ready to get out of my hair, clothes and makeup by the end of the reception. This is also why we're doing pics in the afternoon - that's when I'll look my best.

Celles

We knew we wanted a late winter or early spring wedding, since Arizona is beautiful at that time of year and it's still technically the off season (so catering minimums are much lower and many vendors offer discounts).  Beyond that, we chose the best off-season Saturday date that our venue had available.  The numbers in the date were irrelevant.

kikibaby

My H really wanted to get married on 10/10/10.  He's a programmer, it's binary, blah blah blah.  I was going along with it, and we even put down a deposit on a venue.  Then I realized that they were having weddings every hour that day, and I did NOT want to be rushed.  I had this vision of me standing in a line of brides, waiting my turn (this was in Vegas).

So we changed it to a random day in May. 

Stackeye210

I don't get into the whole "dates mean so much" sort of stuff.  I definitely don't knock people who do get into it though. 

Our date was random - we wanted May so that we had a 1 year engagement and that was a Saturday in May.   (lots of thought behind that.  lol)

I'm not sure I'd enjoy being a guest at a wedding that was at 10pm.  If I had a few drinks and a full belly and then had to sit and be quiet I'd probably fall asleep.

FutureMrsTR

Nope, our numbers aren't special at all:  08/14/10.  I guess they're all even, but that's it.

At the time we set the date, I was planning on being in school the next year and I would have had the month of August off so we planned it for then.  We were also originally going to do Friday the 13th of August because it fit, we started dating on a Friday the 13th and it was cheaper.  In the end we wanted a Saturday to accomodate our OOT guests easier so we just pushed it back a day.

kikibaby

Oh, and as far as your friends wedding... I kind of think a candlelight ceremony would be beautiful.  But, 10 is not late to me, although it is to lots of people.

Celles

In hindsight, we should have put more thought into our date.  I'm a nerd.  He's a nerd.  It never occurred to us that we were booking the same weekend in the same city as the FBR Open or the day before the Superbowl. 

Oops.

LD1970

This couple is waaaaaaaaaaaaay overthinking things.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thoughts-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d098402c-1815-41e7-9a36-1cb8b0c26a47Post:0178fd77-4be9-4a9f-9963-3455459288ae">Re: Thoughts</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and as far as your friends wedding... I kind of think a candlelight ceremony would be beautiful.  But, 10 is not late to me, although it is to lots of people.
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

I think it's great, but at that time of year, you can do it at 8 and have a dessert reception. I wouldn't do the reception before.

BeeBee22

I'd be annoyed. Ten pm on a Sunday is late for a ceremony to start.  Do they expect people to stay and dance after?  Even if not, there's no getting out of there before 11:00, and everyone will have to watch their drinking during dinner since they'll be driving home soon after.

It's inconveniencing your guests for the sake of "We're so cool with our 10:00 bit."

Agree that the event is special, not the date.  Personally, I'd purposely avoid any cutesy/trendy dates. Lots of people will be trying to schedule stuff on them -> added vendor difficulty.

MattsPenguin

I am a numbers person, so the date was a bit important to me.  After comparing calendars, we had a choice of either April 30 or May 21.  I liked late May better (better weather, after college graduations, etc).  And I liked the number 21. It's always been one of my favorite numbers.  It is 3 x 7 (both good numbers in my mind).  I don't know I'm weird.

But I didn't seek out that date or anything.  My cousin is getting married 12-11-10 and she's all excited about it.  Meh.

And 10pm for a ceremony?  I'd definitely have had one too many drinks by then.  And on a Sunday even?  That's a bit rude.

ETA:  since the price of our parking depends on if the Reds are in town, I'm glad that we went with May 21.  They will be out of town, so parking at the football stadium will be $4/car not $10/car!  WAHOO!!

mandysmear

I think dates don't mean anything.  It's the day you decided to marry the person you love.  I mean, what is more special than that.  I don't mean to sound all... mushy and stuff.  But who cares. 

Maybe if I was dead set on a may wedding and my birthday was on a saturday that year perhaps we'd chose that date.  Or if we wanted to get married in November and the 28th (our dating anniversary) was a saturday, then maybe yeah we'd chose a specific date. 

But the whole 10.10.10 @ 10pm thing is silly.  IMO.  It's kind of juvenille or something... I can't think of the right word.  Trying to hard?  IDK.  I just think it's stupid.

MISSCOURTNEY20

I think it's a great idea if that's what you are into. At least the ceremony isn't first and then the reception.

Dates don't mean that much to me. I knew that I didn't want to wait until next year to have the summer wedding that I always wanted and I didn't want to have it too late in November cause with Chicago weather, you just never know. So the first Saturday in November sounded good. Hopefully the weather cooperates.

MattsPenguin

Oh yeah, and I wish we were getting married in September 2010 (like originally planned before my brother was deployed).  I like September and I think it's easier to remember 2010 than 2011.  But I guess it won't be so bad.  I was born in 1981, so it's "30 years" apart.  That should be easy, right?

[Deleted User]

Nope, I didn't give the whole numbers/date thing much thought. I knew I wanted a summer wedding and June in Ohio is a great month for weddings. And we knew we wanted about a year engagement.

And a reception first and then the wedding is totally as$ backwards IMO. People are going to be too tired to sit through the ceremony, no matter how short it is, not to mention drunk. They are just gonna party and then go home and say the hell with the wedding.

mandapanda78

We randomly ended up with 11/01/09. Originally we were going to get married sometime in April of 2010, but we decided we didn't want to wait that long, so we moved it up. Then we wanted a mid-October weekend, but our preferred venue was full up. So then it ended up being November 1. Which means our anniversary will always be easy to remember.

I get that 10/10/10 is cute, but I wouldn't go out of my way to have a cute date, and I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to make sure the time also lined up. That seems like maybe putting the emphasis in the wrong place, KWIM?

JessAndTrav

1. Date: Absolutely not. We wanted to get married in December, and for some reason I liked the way December 5th sounded as a wedding date, but we ended up doing the 12th because the church was booked on the 5th...which H loves, since our anniversary is 12-12.

2. Ceremony after the reception? I would think it's odd. True story.

impslave

Are numbers in dates really that important to you? ie: when you were planning was the date or order of numbers super important?  Time of year was more important for us.  We wanted to avoid the summer because of the heat and allergies, so we went with March.  The date we picked wasn't special, but I did want to get it in before NCAA Final Eight weekend.

As a guest, would it be strange to have reception/dinner first, then ceremony?  Personally, I would find that a little odd.  My fear would be falling into a food coma during the ceremony, especially that late at night. 

mica178

I'm 10-10-10 too.  We're getting married in the afternoon, early evening reception (although we're keeping the music and booze going until late IF people want it) because it is a Sunday, and the local people will want to be able to work the next day if they don't have Columbus Day off.

My FI chose the date.  I couldn't care less about the number.  I agreed to the date because it gave me 9 months to plan, and October in California is beautiful.  Having a 10pm ceremony on a Sunday is amazingly inconsiderate, in my opinion.

orangejulius

Our original date was going to be 10-10-10. It was the only date left in the entire year of the venue we wanted. But the logistics of a Sunday wedding for all of our out of town guests (about 60) and even all of our in-town guests who have to work, we decided to just put the wedding off a little longer and get a Saturday for the venue we wanted. Our new date is 04-30-11...which doesn't have any significance, but I recenly connected that my parent's wedding anniversary is 04-03...so that's kinda cute, and they've been married 35 years

I don't think I'd like the reversed ceremony/reception.

[Deleted User]

My uncle is getting married 10/10/10 at 10:10 am. That makes sense. But 10 pm, no freakin way. It would be weird to have the reception before. It defeats the purpose of having one.

We chose our date somewhat randomly, but based on weather mainly. We wanted to get married when it was warm but not overbearingly hot, and before the Florida summer daily showers. That pretty much left April and some of May, but H is super busy in May. We didn't want to get married on Easter weekend or my dad's birthday, so that left April 10th. The date itself didn't matter to us.

kd.joseph

Nope it we knew we wanted our kids to be there and they were out of the country. So we waited for them to return and checked their schedule. And fell on May, we wanted spring in SC.

There is no way I would attend a wedding at 10pm on a Sunday. Thats past my bedtime.