telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:31be1dfc-c67b-4903-93b7-597f8a32c6d2">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]i also dont think it is fair to pay $150.00 for this woman to be at my wedding
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]


Life ain't fair, honey.

scurtis07

Everyone is asking/sus[ecting more because people don't just call people C-Unit for no reason! And maybe she is just out of her mind and the worlds most outrageous over reactor. I'll give you some advice, stay away, GM knows she is nuts, he lives with her, and if he is fine with it, then he s nuts too. write them outa the wedding and move on. AND TELL US WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!!!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:2a49ba88-cdbc-4721-a548-64184645c540">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : Maybe you should have apologized for telling someone it was wrong for them to be a wh*re.  That's their business, not yours.  If you wanna keep things classy and elegant in Saratoga, NY then worry about yourself and let wh*res be wh*res on their own.  <strong>I figured out life is much better when I stop worrying about who's getting a$$.</strong>
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

Love it. And agree.

shannatwat is like Kristin#s but she actually doesn't know anything about etiquette. Even 1950s etiquette.

loop0406

Well it looks like you're down 1 groomsman.....shake it off and move forward. She disrespected you and he should accept that. So if she's not invited, he's not going, etc....you want love & light at your wedding basically which is understandable and not having them there will accomplish this.

MattsPenguin

OP - and now you're pulling out the cost of your wedding.  I really don't think that it will get you very far with this crowd.

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:ddce00d9-f4de-46b5-ac7c-da35dce4b2c1">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]actually i came on here to find put what other people would have done if faced with the similar situation. 
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

1. I would have kept my nose out of other people's business in the first place (the original argument didn't involve you at all)
2. And I would NOT uninvited the wife of a GM.  That's just rude and asking for him to bow out.  Which he did.  QED.

aral2003

wow.... serious haters in here.  thought this baord was for supporting other brides.  jeeez!!!!

kikibaby

So, on reading the OP, I have to say I wouldn't invite this twatbiscuit to my wedding either.  But your follow-ups made me go uuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhh.  It's sort of a snort-eye roll-psh sort of thing.  How fancy your wedding is and how much each guests costs is not relevant. 

Oh, and you're both immature.  Don't breed.

georgia_bride09

Shana Fry has something about "acting like ladies" about 20 times this week.

ACT LIKE LADIES!!!!!!!!

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:31be1dfc-c67b-4903-93b7-597f8a32c6d2">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]i also dont think it is fair to pay $150.00 for this woman to be at my wedding
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

Just stop with the "my wedding is so fancy and expensive." It makes you sound snotty. For the record, my wedding was fancy (and would have been expensive if not for the fact that Chile is cheap compared to the US). We invited people H and/or I didn't like in order to be polite - not many, but I think everyone knows a family member who's been rude or a spouse that you really wish you friend would dump.

You didn't hear me bitching about having to pay for them to be there because I saw the big picture, which was that in the long run I'd rather spend the money and extend the invitation for something that was in my budget and wouldn't affect my happiness on my wedding day than screw up a friendship or family relationship in the long-term. You and your FI apparently chose the latter option. To answer your question, no, I would not have done that because I don't think your choice was worth it.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:c73365a6-c71b-49f2-bfd0-06a097a6bfd4">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]wow.... serious haters in here.  thought this baord was for supporting other brides.  jeeez!!!!
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]
I wanna see your support bra, not support you. Outkast anybody?

And just so we're clear, OP, I don't wanna see your bra. But Big Boi probably does.

smokeybailey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:c73365a6-c71b-49f2-bfd0-06a097a6bfd4">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]wow.... serious haters in here.  thought this baord was for supporting other brides.  jeeez!!!!
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

You thought wrong.

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:c73365a6-c71b-49f2-bfd0-06a097a6bfd4">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]wow.... serious haters in here.  thought this baord was for supporting other brides.  jeeez!!!!
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

I'm a hatter, not a hater, and lurking does a poster good.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:21cc6a1e-1e47-4699-aadd-10979c5dc157">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Well it looks like you're down 1 groomsman.....shake it off and move forward. She disrespected you and he should accept that. So if she's not invited, he's not going, etc....you want love & light at your wedding basically which is understandable and not having them there will accomplish this.
Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]


Actually, loop, the man SHOULD support his wife.  He did the right thing.

This bride who was called the c-word needs to respect that.

georgia_bride09

Took you long enough. We're all married hags. We don't support brides.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:c73365a6-c71b-49f2-bfd0-06a097a6bfd4">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]wow.... serious haters in here.  thought this baord was for supporting other brides.  jeeez!!!!
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]


Hatters, we be hattin.

AmoroAgain

Okay okay okay.  So, in the past, she stuck her nose where it doesn't' belong.  Got it.

Other than that OP, you really need to figure out if you and your FI can be fine going forward, without the friendship of this man, who very clearly is going to stand by his wife in this situation.  If you can, then he's gone and move on.  Do NOT try to "replace" him.  Just work with what you have.

laurenclaire1386

I'm really glad my sig quote still has some mileage left in it.

squirrly

Well, I wouldn't have created the situation in the first place.  Second, if I offended her, I'd have appologized, since sticking my nose in other people's business really isn't appropriate.  So, I'm thinking that would have done a lot of damage control to prevent being called a cu next tuesday in the first place.

However.  Once the shouting happened, I think you have two main choices:  hire a security guard to escort her out if she attends the wedding and gets rowdy OR decide the husband isn't a good enough friend to tolerate the potential embarassment from his wife.  Your husband chose YOU first, over his friend by telling him his wife wouldn't be invited.  The GM chose HIS wife over your FI.  Seems pretty clear that you all already went with option two. 

The third option is sort of a hybrid. Invite the couple over for dinner and a chat.  Appologize NOW for having offended her.  Let her know, politely, that you're really hurt by what she shouted.  And if the conversation progresses in a positive manner - there ya go (I'd still hire the guard for the wedding, and probably distance myself as friends after).  If not - you have your answer.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:c9eca794-c2e6-4c1b-9690-e3e267b66796">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never been a situation where someone called me a c*nt, so I can't help you.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

This was my thought. I've never been in that sitation so... I don't know what I'd do.

Stackeye210

"Haters always be hatin" - MrsTayPrince said this I believe.

Apparently she got ONE thing right her whole time here.  We're waiting for you to get something right now


ETA:  HA LC - I forgot you had that quoted.. 

smokeybailey

::runs into thread::

cvnt!!!

::runs out::

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:b21c9595-17d1-439c-a0d3-35c9b060a2ce">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]::runs into thread:: cvnt!!! ::runs out::
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

WIN!  Well it would be, but I do not support this behavior. 

jnic0319

Well since you already kicked her out there really isn't much "advice" anyone can give you.  Lurk here more often, it is not a "ooo you're right I'm so sorry hunny" kind of board.  They aren't being mean, just honest.

Edited: Because I suck at the whole spelling thing

ShanaFry

Georgia  it's not puppies and rainbows it's honest advice instead of constantly berating everyone on here. I'm convinced that the majority of you are old hag knotties not at all concerned with what people are truly going through and instead using this site as a way to inflict self-doubt into the minds of every bride to be.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

So - OP - moral of the story - this sucks, right?  Move on.

[Deleted User]

I'm pretty sure if I screamed at some girl at a wedding and called her the C-word my H would tell me to stop acting like a child and would be humiliated. He wouldn't deny I ever said it. But that's besides the point.

What's done is done. The GM isn't going to attend a wedding his wife isn't invited to, and I don't blame him one bit, even if she did act that way. She's not willing to kiss and make up, so my advice is to just get over it and move on. Be happy you don't have to worry about her calling you names at your wedding. And next time, don't put your nose where it doesn't belong.

Oh, and don't brag about your oh-so-swanky venue. Major turnoff.

Stackeye210

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:4f53079b-122c-4290-8820-de9c37c9eba1">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Georgia  it's not puppies and rainbows it's honest advice instead of constantly berating everyone on here. I'm convinced that the majority of you are old hag knotties not at all concerned with what people are truly going through and instead using this site as a way to inflict self-doubt into the minds of every bride to be.
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

Honest advice is not telling someone to find a replacement GM.  That is bad advice, you do not replace GM - just sharted undies. 

emilyinchile

At the top of the board, it gives a handy dandy guide as to what to expect here:

"No one wants to deal with the etiquette police so let these Knotties help you avoid them. Post your questions for modern advice on etiquette and planning."

I'm missing the part where we're all supposed to hold hands and sing kumbaya to support each other through this trying time of planning a party.

laurenclaire1386

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:4f53079b-122c-4290-8820-de9c37c9eba1">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Georgia  it's not puppies and rainbows it's honest advice instead of constantly berating everyone on here. I'm convinced that the majority of you are old hag knotties not at all concerned with what people are truly going through and instead using this site as a way to inflict self-doubt into the minds of every bride to be.
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]
And your honest advice was that friends are totally replaceable and that it's a good idea to get a "new" groomsman. Your honest advice kind of sucks.