Honouring a late parent

emeddietorres

My wedding date is my late father's birthday, I thought this would be a nice gesture of acknowledgment to his passing (10+years ago) but I'm not sure how to make guests aware of this special detail. I could put it on the ceremony program or else it could be mentioned in the ceremony. 

Has anyone ever seen a nice creative or just thoughtful way of honouring a late parent at the ceremony or reception? I don't want to dwell on it because it of course makes my family sad but I'm trying to think of tasteful ideas...

tidetravel

I don't think it's really necessary to let your guests know that you're getting married on your father's birthday.  Obviously, the people closest to him would know, and can honor the day privately.  If you would like to honor your father, little details are usually best.  You don't want your wedding day to turn into a memorial service

1)  pin a locket with your father's picture to your bouquet or inside your dress

2) have his picture and a candle on a memorial table, or set up next to the cake.

3)  On the program, include a note saying something like“Today we honor those who could not be with us, especially the bride’s father, Mr. emeddietorres's dad.”  

4) I personally like the suggestion of honoring him privately by placing your bouquet on his grave sometime after the wedding.

starrynight1658

I tend to find memory tables/candles a little morbid, but I can understand why people choose to do them. My dad also passed away a few years ago, and we had a moment of reflection during our ceremony for those that couldn't be with us, and then left a chair empty at the table where he would have been sitting. Little things, and I'm sure people who didn't know my background well were even aware of the chair thing, but it felt right to me. I think the private memorial honored him without turning our wedding day into a funeral. Don't get me wrong, it was incredibly hard without my dad there, but I'm happy with the ways that we chose to remember him. Bottom line though: do what feels right for you and your family.

LessThanZero

The wedding I last went to had a memory table. It wasn't anything extravagant. Just a small table in the corner of the front room that had a few pictures and candles.

They also had a card at each person's seat explaining that had made a donation to the cancer Society in lieu of favors.

Some people think it's morbid and that's understandable. I don't think so, but do whatever works for you. I like the idea of mentioning him in the program and I like Tide's idea about the locket too. When my officiant sent me a sample of one of her typical ceremonies, she had a place where she can mention what a joyous occasion it is and how we are grateful for everyone in our lives and those who have passed. That's a nice gesture as well.

bellaxanthe

I am having my wedding date as the day mine passed away 6 years ago. Taking a terrible day and reclaiming it as a happy one. It will always remind me of him and all that he wanted for me.  I don't think that I will mention anywhere at the wedding that it was that day, but I have answered people when they ask - "why that day" and of course my immediate family knows.
I will be doing the locket and have a small thing in the program. I will most definitely mention him in my toast to the guests. And I am having his favorite " Black Jack" gum at the candy bar. Little subtle things that make a nod towards him.

LesPaul

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honouring-late-parent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d516e480-bab4-40fc-8db2-4e74b723b155Post:3619d0a7-f64c-4109-a2ed-f4cf23ea5f02">Re: Honouring a late parent</a>:
[QUOTE]Our officiant said a very few words about our fathers at the beginning of the ceremony.  Something sweet, along the lines of "taking a few moments to remember them, not in sadness, but with joy and thankfulness for the time & love they gave us."  Then, after a bit of time, the rest of the ceremony began.
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

This is really nice, OWN.  We did an "In Memoriam" note in the program for my parents, and had a small photo on a table at the reception.  I don't personally like the empty chair tribute, but some people do.

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honouring-late-parent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d516e480-bab4-40fc-8db2-4e74b723b155Post:c2c6502e-3ba2-46dd-94e6-088be6eb97ec">Re: Honouring a late parent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honouring a late parent : This is really nice, OWN.  We did an "In Memoriam" note in the program for my parents, and had a small photo on a table at the reception.  I don't personally like the empty chair tribute, but some people do.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]


Thank you.  I thought it was really lovely, and our officiant (our good friend who got internet ordained to perform the wedding) just did such a wonderful job.  My father had just died 5 months prior, while Mark's dad died over 20 years ago.  I know our mothers, especially, appreciated the gesture.  

parker624

I think what OWN's officiant said is perfect and very appropriate.

When my cousin got married, he had the first seat reserved for his father who passed away, and placed the father's wedding ring on the seat as a memorial.  It was not poitned out during the ceremony but all of us family who knew it was there felt like it was a touching way to remember him.

xyrius

I'm doing the locket idea for my dad, because it will be like he's still accompanying me down the aisle.

Cynthia1207

I'm getting married on the day of my grandfather's birthday.  He was like a father to me so I feel like this is my way of making him a part of our special day.  He would've walked me down the aisle if circumstances permitted...

I've decided to have 2 memorial candles,(one for my grandfather and one for FI's father) no pictures, but just an inscription on the vase.  They will be placed on the honor table in front of us.