Cake

emeejeeayen

My night of questions!

So, in my budget, I have a small and simple two-tier cake + cupcakes priced out. I like the idea of cupcakes more than sheet cake because I can have them on display, and personally I like to eat with my hands. And I want to have the small two-tier cake because I like the tradition of cake cutting.

Here's my question, how does this work logistically? "Hey if you want a cupcake grab one, but we don't have enough slices of cake if everyone wants slices?" Also, do we cut the entire cake or send it back to the kitchen to be cut? 

I know this "issue" hardly matters, but I'd like to hear other people's experiences/opinions. 

hoffse

We talked about doing a cupcake "cake" where the cupcakes were in a tiered tower, with a small cutting cake as the top tier (that we would cut and then would freeze for our first anniversary).  We're going full cake for other reasons, but that was how we would have done it.

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:8e10a95d-0bfb-4da6-a62b-5af194ce2a15">Re:Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]Actually, I think it does matter. As a guest, I find it a bit rude for the couple to eat cake but serve me a cupcake instead. I think if you have cupcakes INSTEAD of cake and do the whole cutting and feeding thing with a cupcake, or you do cupcakes IN ADDITION to cake, then it's fine. But I don't like anything that involves eating one thing and feeding your guests another. Especially if your reasoning is that YOU prefer the cupcakes but will be eating the cake. ETA: and for the record you can display sheet cakes as well. We had a 3 tiered cake and 2 sheet cakes because we wanted multiple flavors and they were all out on the cake table. We had them match the edge of the sheet cakes to edging on the wedding cake then put drama masks on the sheet cake and flowers on the wedding cake.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>Ha, what if I cut the cake and then just ate a cupcake instead? Because seriously, cupcakes are awesome. </div><div>
</div><div>I see what you mean, though, that's what I was sort of worrying about. I just meant that in the scheme of things, cake is, well, cake. </div>

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:d79731ee-7de9-445c-b165-d3d04b4f4390">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]We talked about doing a cupcake "cake" where the cupcakes were in a tiered tower, with a small cutting cake as the top tier (that we would cut and then would freeze for our first anniversary).  We're going full cake for other reasons, but that was how we would have done it.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm fairly certain this isn't what you meant, but this makes me think of these :D </div><div>
</div><div><img id="hero" src="http://rk.wsimgs.com/wsimgs/rk/images/dp/wcm/201221/0066/img42b.jpg" alt="" width="388" height="485" /></div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/the-great-cupcake-cake-pan/?pkey=cbakeware-top-rated&cm_src=bakeware-top-rated||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-" rel="nofollow">http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/the-great-cupcake-cake-pan/?pkey=cbakeware-top-rated&cm_src=bakeware-top-rated||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-</a></div>

Kate61487

I agree; if you prefer cupcakes then just do cupcakes.  They can be arranged and decorated like a tiered cake and you can cut into one for the traditional cutting just as easily; or do the single tier for the cutting like PP said.  As long as all your guests are being served the same thing.

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:1ac9e12d-b942-42b7-98eb-dae973c34b00">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree; if you prefer cupcakes then just do cupcakes.  They can be arranged and decorated like a tiered cake and you can cut into one for the traditional cutting just as easily; or do the single tier for the cutting like PP said.  As long as all your guests are being served the same thing.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

<div>How is that any different than sheet cakes though? It would all be made by the same bakery. Same cake, same frosting. </div>

random4180

We did cakes and cupcakes. I made a simple layer cake which theoretically made forty slices. The caterer also made enough cupcakes for all our guests (we planned for about 112, just about 105 showed up.) I don't think it was rude, though, because the reason for the separate cake to cut was because I required a vegan cake so the cake we cut was vegan red velvet with vanilla buttercream and what the caterer made was non-vegan red velvet with vanilla buttercream and white chocolate ganache cupcakes. We cut my homemade cake for the pictures and my husband and I both ate slices from that cake but after we cut it the caterer took it away and it seemed that whoever went to get dessert (and not everybody did) got a cupcake and a sliver of my cake. (I also imagine they got a choice since I had quite a bit of my cake leftover.) I was the only vegan at my wedding and I know people can be weird about vegan baking (although I get requests for my cupcakes all the time from non-vegans and got a lot of compliments on the cake at my wedding) so I honestly don't think anything was wrong etiquette-wise with what we did. All guests got dessert and no one needed to go out of their comfort zone with my cake unless they wanted to. 

maggieandrey

I see Stage's point about maybe how this is rude, but for us we did both more for the aesthetics/illusion of a real cake but having cupcake instead - it has nothing to do with serving us one thing and our guests another. So we are doing a cupcake tower, with a 7" round cake on the top tier of the tower. They are actually the same exact cake/cupcakes, but the cake at the top will have a topper. We'll cut a piece for the cake-cutting BS, but we'll eat cupcakes with our guests. Honestly, if somebody felt slighted by this, they are more than welcome to the cake... I want a cupcake!

ETA: we're planning on boxing the cake and any leftover cupcakes at the end of the night.. it probably wouldn't be sliced other than our cut into it unless somebody really wants to dig in...

sparkles776

In the past year most weddings I have been to have had cupcakes and yes, it was "everyone just come up and grab a cupcake" Seriously, when it was dessert time there was a mad rush to the cupcake table, at every wedding. I hated it, and it is what made me choose to go with an actual wedding cake. Logistically, I think cupcakes are a hard thing to do, you cant exactly pass them out since there are usually so many different flavors but at the same time it is silly to have 200 people run up to a table. Also, all these couples did have a small cake to slice, and I wasnt offended at all.

gailpete

If you do a cake to cut and cupcakes, make sure that the cupcakes taste as good or better than the cake you cut.  I've seen several brides say, "We are doing a small cake to cut because this baker is awesome and does beautiful and delicious cakes, but they are expensive.  So we are getting cupcakes for the guests from this other place, because they are cheaper."  That is rude to your guests.

I do agree with PP about the logistics of the mad rush of people heading for the cupcakes to make sure they get the flavor they want.

Kate61487

I think there's a difference between having a small cutting cake like you guys are talking about that gets taken home vs. having 50 cupcakes and a cake that feeds 50 for 100 guests.  I dunno why; it just seems weird to me.  To have half your guests eating with their fingers and the other half eating traditional slices.  To possibly run out of one and then have someone bummed b/c they wanted a cupcake.  You say 'cake is cake' but at the same time YOU'RE the one saying you want cupcakes because you like them better.  If cake is cake then pick one and have cake. 

If you were doing any other two dessert options; like cake and pie or icecream I'd recommend having enough of each for everyone - not feed half the guests cake and half ice cream and if they don't get the one they want then too bad.  If they're different, treat them differently.  If they're the same then why have both?  Clearly it's JMO, but you asked for opinions so there ya go.

emeejeeayen

We'd have a cake that served probably 50 if you cut small slices and then probably like 200 cupcakes. We're going to have somewhere around 100-140 guests. A cake that serves 100 people is not small in my mind. 

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:1514ce4c-90ce-407b-9415-3901693299da">Re:Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Cake: Cupcakes have a different consistency than cake, which alters the taste even with the same flavor and batter. Don't believe me? Whip up a double batch of any cake batter, your choice, then use half to bake a cake and half to make cupcakes with. They'll both be the same basic flavor, but still taste a little different.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

<div>I used to alternate between Magnolia's cupcakes and Magnolia's cakes for office birthdays when I worked in NYC. Both were equally delicious and tasted entirely the same to me. I could attribute this to the icing, but the icing is my favorite part anyway. Maybe the bakery was doing something to alter their cake batter for each specific thing, I have no idea. Just has not been my experience at all, and I eat a lot of both cupcakes and cakes. </div>

JaneAustensGhost

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but we're doing a four tiered cake, a separate gluten-free cake (several people in FI's family are extremely allergic) and we're also doing cupcakes.  I think the cupcakes will be served during the cocktail hour with traditional British pub food (mini fish and chips, ale, etc.)  Then after dinner, we'll cut the tiered cake.   I considered just doing cupcakes but I really want the picture of us cutting the cake.  Then the tiered cake became ridiculous: it was supposed to be three tiers, but since he's English he wanted a traditional English fruit cake.  We were originally going to have the cake, the fruit cake, the gluten-free cake, and cupcakes, which I thought was absurd, so we're just integrating the fruit cake into the tiered cake.

Since this will be a massively caked wedding, I plan to buy some beautiful boxes and send everyone home with a huge slice (or three) and a cupcake.    And all the cakes will be baked by the same (awesome) baker.  

[Deleted User]

I don't think there's anything wrong with doing a cutting tier and then cupcakes. To me, that's the same as people who have a cutting tier and then sheet cakes. However, I do agree it might be weird to have a two tier cake that would feed some guests while others would get the cupcakes. So I'd just do a top tier if you go that route.

SKPM

We had a smallish cake, 3 tiers for 180 guests, and each tier was a different flavor. We cut into the bottom tier, and planned to keep the top tier ourselves, so the actual cake netted 2 tiers and thereby 2 flavors. We needed additional cake quantity to feed our guests, and our venue baker's default option was a sheet cake, but we opted for cupcakes instead because I prefer them in appearance to sheetcake. We had a third cake flavor available in the form of cupcakes, all cakes done by the same baker. So guests had choice of flavor 1 cake, flavor 2 cake, or flavor 3 cupcakes. I'm not certain that no one was offended, but as far as I know, our guests dessert needs were met.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:ad6a6086-eb1a-4740-b97b-b4f824d1efac">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]We'd have a cake that served probably 50 if you cut small slices and then probably like 200 cupcakes. We're going to have somewhere around 100-140 guests. A cake that serves 100 people is not small in my mind. 
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

I dunno; the bottom three tiers of ours fed our 280 guests.  So I'd venture to guess that the bottom tier fed 100 (about 20" by 20"; each slice was about 1 inch thick, 4 inches long and 4 inches tall).  Granted the pieces weren't HUGE, but I thought it was the perfect amount of cake.

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/11/1b3e48e8-fd46-4bfd-bb5e-999fc0bd4b7e.large.bmp" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/11/1b3e48e8-fd46-4bfd-bb5e-999fc0bd4b7e.medium.bmp" alt="" /></a>

ETA - according to Wilton's a 12" round would feed 54.  It's really not that big of a cake required to feed 100.  (<a href="http://www.wilton.com/cakes/cake-cutting-guides/wedding-cake-cutting-guide.cfm" rel="nofollow">link</a>)

PigglyWiggly13

I honestly see nothing wrong with cupcakes and a small cake for cutting IF they are from the same bakery. More flavor options and combinations options, and it's easier to cater to anyone with food allergies and special dietary needs (like me!). I use my own made up recipes for cupcakes and cakes all the time, and I literally cannot taste a difference. A well-made cake should not taste that much different when baked properly. Be warned, though! Guests may snatch up the cupcakes before you cut the cake at all. I've seen it happen (luckily only once), and the couple didn't even get to see the cupcakes. Obviously there's ways around that, but it could get a little iffy. Guests aren't always sure about cupcakes versus a tiered cake, KWIM?

Cortney1982

I think it's rude to have a special cake for the bride and groom and a some guests and cupcakes for the rest.  Cupcakes just aren't the same as sliced cake.  Besides that, if you do have cupcakes, are you going to have dessert plates and forks available with that?  I prefer to unwrap my cupcake and eat it with a fork on a plate.  Especially if it's anything more than a casual affair.

SB1512

FI and I plan on having cupcakes and a small cake for cutting purposes.  We won't serve the tier we cut, we'll just have it boxed up and take it home.  But, now I have a question.  If we wanted to do more than 1 flavor of cupcake, do we need to make sure there is enough of each flavor for every guest.  So, if we are doing vanilla and chocolate cupcakes, do we need to make sure that each person could have a vanilla or each person could have a chocolate......we have 200 guests on our list (won't know how many are coming until RSVP's obviously) that's a lot of cupcakes! 

RailWayWife

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:d79731ee-7de9-445c-b165-d3d04b4f4390">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]We talked about doing a cupcake "cake" where the cupcakes were in a tiered tower, with a small cutting cake as the top tier (that we would cut and then would freeze for our first anniversary).  We're going full cake for other reasons, but that was how we would have done it.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]



This is what we will be doing

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:f9b824a9-447c-4eae-b2f0-3a688741a1af">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm embarrassed to admit it, but we're doing a four tiered cake, a separate gluten-free cake (several people in FI's family are extremely allergic) and we're also doing cupcakes. <strong> I think the cupcakes will be served during the cocktail hour with traditional British pub food (mini fish and chips, ale, etc.)</strong>  Then after dinner, we'll cut the tiered cake.   I considered just doing cupcakes but I really want the picture of us cutting the cake.  Then the tiered cake became ridiculous: it was supposed to be three tiers, but since he's English he wanted a traditional English fruit cake.  We were originally going to have the cake, the fruit cake, the gluten-free cake, and cupcakes, which I thought was absurd, so we're just integrating the fruit cake into the tiered cake. Since this will be a massively caked wedding, I plan to buy some beautiful boxes and send everyone home with a huge slice (or three) and a cupcake.    And all the cakes will be baked by the same (awesome) baker.  
Posted by JaneAustensGhost[/QUOTE]

Can I come to your wedding?

zantster

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:75d832ba-e5fb-4e2f-9304-7a7a9ea47e92">Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]My night of questions! :) So, in my budget, I have a small and simple two-tier cake + cupcakes priced out. I like the idea of cupcakes more than sheet cake because I can have them on display, and personally I like to eat with my hands. And I want to have the small two-tier cake because I like the tradition of cake cutting. Here's my question, how does this work logistically? "Hey if you want a cupcake grab one, but we don't have enough slices of cake if everyone wants slices?" Also, do we cut the entire cake or send it back to the kitchen to be cut?  I know this "issue" hardly matters, but I'd like to hear other people's experiences/opinions. 
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]
I guess if you are going to give up on eating with your hands as you say you like to do, so that you can cut the cake and eat a slice of cake with your DH, then why not let the other guests eat sliced cake too since they didn't ask to eat with their hands right? 

If I'm understanding correctly, it's not as though you are cutting the cake for show, boxing it up immediately and then grabbing a cupcake so you can eat with your hands right?  Is this moreso a budget based decision? Because, IMO, that would seem to fit more with with your decision than preferring a cupcake but forgoing it to eat regular cake while everyone else gets the cupcake.  I say all this to say that I lean towards Stage in that anytime it appears that the bride and groom is eating something different it feels a bit unequal even if it truly isn't meant to be that way.  And usually if you have a funny feeling in your gut about something it means that it doesn't feel 100% right to you either.  It might feel 80% ok but not the 100% we all look for during our planning.  I can't say that 's you but either way do what feels right and best for your guests.

[Deleted User]

We are doing what you are doing. The top tier will be saved, and the second tier will be the one we cut. Then it's wrapped up and sent to the back to be served at the brunch the next day. So EVERYONE at the wedding with the exception of me and my FI will be eating ONLY the cupcakes. I think that works. NO guests will be eating cake, and the only cake we'll be eating is shoved in our faces (and it's the same flavor as some of the cupcakes).

Like THIS one, but only with TWO tiers on the cake (because if you have three tiers, you run into the problems you mentioned):

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:f2d4ca92-2007-4520-9fdd-4fff5ef4ded5">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's rude to have a special cake for the bride and groom and a some guests and cupcakes for the rest.  Cupcakes just aren't the same as sliced cake.  Besides that, if you do have cupcakes, are you going to have dessert plates and forks available with that?  I prefer to unwrap my cupcake and eat it with a fork on a plate.  Especially if it's anything more than a casual affair.
Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

<div>No, I shall hoard all forks, knives and plates for the duration of the reception.</div>

Jen4948

I'm fine with the idea of a "cutting tier" and cupcakes if everyone is given options to eat both.

When that's not the case, it literally becomes "tiered" hospitality (pun intended).

Cortney1982

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:880b63b8-c807-4eb9-989d-be10ede281c3">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cake : No, I shall hoard all forks, knives and plates for the duration of the reception.
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

You mentioned you like eating with your hands.  I can tell you there would be a good amount of people that would not like to eat with their hands while in formal attire.  You would need a dessert plate and fork for every guest set aside by the cupcakes.  Though, I don't think it's necessary to have a knife to eat a cupcake.

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:70d2e77b-2231-4180-a644-4af1cc89242e">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cake : You mentioned you like eating with your hands.  I can tell you there would be a good amount of people that would not like to eat with their hands while in formal attire.  You would need a dessert plate and fork for every guest set aside by the cupcakes.  Though, I don't think it's necessary to have a knife to eat a cupcake.
Posted by Cortney1982[/QUOTE]

<div>Any guest who requires a fork shall be banished from the reception and shamed for life.</div>

JaneAustensGhost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:891f7c59-7f9e-45f7-a751-dfae460f75ff">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cake : Can I come to your wedding?
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

<div>Another fan of British pub food?!  We are kindred spirits.  :   ) </div>

Calypso1977

i love cupcakes, but at the same time, they are a novelty that has just been overdone now at weddings.

why not do a totally unique or different cake or dessert and serve the same thing to everyone? 

JaneAustensGhost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:891f7c59-7f9e-45f7-a751-dfae460f75ff">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cake : Can I come to your wedding?
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

<div>Are you a fan of British pub food too?  Kindred spirits.  :  ) </div>