Cake

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:917224bb-bfed-4535-b47b-b97387d1b364">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing what you are doing. The top tier will be saved, and the second tier will be the one we cut. Then it's wrapped up and sent to the back to be served at the brunch the next day. So EVERYONE at the wedding with the exception of me and my FI will be eating ONLY the cupcakes. I think that works. NO guests will be eating cake, and <strong>the only cake we'll be eating is shoved in our faces (and it's the same flavor as some of the cupcakes).</strong> Like THIS one, but only with TWO tiers on the cake (because if you have three tiers, you run into the problems you mentioned):
Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]

You mean you're planning to smash cake in each other's faces?  I'd seriously reconsider that.  It's not cute or fun to watch.

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to Re:Cake:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cake:We are doing what you are doing. The top tier will be saved, and the second tier will be the one we cut. Then it's wrapped up and sent to the back to be served at the brunch the next day. So EVERYONE at the wedding with the exception of me and my FI will be eating ONLY the cupcakes. I think that works. NO guests will be eating cake, and the only cake we'll be eating is shoved in our faces and it's the same flavor as some of the cupcakes. Like THIS one, but only with TWO tiers on the cake because if you have three tiers, you run into the problems you mentioned:Posted by Domino04You mean you're planning to smash cake in each other's faces?nbsp; I'd seriously reconsider that.nbsp; It's not cute or fun to watch. Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

Ditto, I always lower my estimation of the maturity and IQ levels of the couple when I see this. It's disrespectful to each other, the rental people who have to clean up after the kindergarden level mess on the suit and linens, and to the artistry that went into the cake.

emeejeeayen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:7f1e9c6a-e965-4c23-8154-a192f7fe4151">Re:Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Cake: Ditto, I always lower my estimation of the maturity and IQ levels of the couple when I see this. It's disrespectful to each other, the rental people who have to clean up after the kindergarden level mess on the suit and linens, and to the artistry that went into the cake.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

<div>My biggest issue with it is that I hate STICKY! When I was a toddler I would have legit melt downs if I got sticky somehow in the car and couldn't immediately clean up. ::shudder:: This would be sticky floor, sticky face AND sticky hands. Awful. </div>

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:04cd3e58-17ac-40f3-bda0-b581deb00ab9">Re: Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cake : Are you a fan of British pub food too?  Kindred spirits.  :  ) 
Posted by JaneAustensGhost[/QUOTE]

<div>I just think the idea of mini fish and chips for cocktail hour is awesome!  Throwing in cupcakes doesn't hurt, either :)</div>

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:8baada28-0f50-4b59-9bd2-4827275c2ee5">Re:Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, I get "it looks immature" or whatever, but "it's disrespectful to the rental companies and bakery" is a whole new level of assumption and judgement. I have never seen any cake smashing that involved "cleaning up after a kindergarten level mess" and I know no cake artist who would be offended. There's also the implication that the only way to do a cake smashing is a full blown food fight between the bride and groom or something. DH and I did it with no mess on anything besides our faces, all easily cleaned up with a napkin. Does that make us immature? Maybe, but heck the same could be said for the fact that we have a room dedicated to our toy collection. It was fun, it was us, it gave us some adorable photos, and it didn't hurt anyone else. If it's not your thing, cool and the gang. I can respect that opinion, but to say we were disrespectful to the venue, the grocery store, and the tux rental shop is grasping at straws.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

The venue is fine and all, I don't think it's disrespecful to them, which is why I didn't go that direction.

I just cringe when I see anything that makes unecessary extra work for employees that have to pick up afterwards, or clean the rentals.  I've seen cake smashing that ends up all down the front of the groom's tux (rental in most cases), which means that some poor (most likely underpaid, and most definitely not going to be tipped) soul now has to work extra hard.  But then again, I'm the sort that won't leave towels on the floor at hotels, and always tip employees that most people don't.  I've done the cruddy jobs that people unecessarily complicate for me for no reason.  I know how much that sucks.

As for the cake itself, you're right, a grocery store cake isn't something to really enshrine or anything.  But if the couple goes to someone who makes their living making wedding cakes, and who doesn't have this big pre-fab factory to make baking easier, then a LOT of time and effort went into that cake.  It's taken to the level of artistry if someone has labored 6 to 8 hours on it (sometimes multiple days), hand-crafting.  To have someone just squish it for fun would depress me if I was it's creator.

But that's my opinion, I tend to be a softy when it comes to the employees behind the scenes.

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cake-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6f34e5a-30f4-4d05-be76-492083829af1Post:bc22810d-2915-4184-97c3-f5b1a8f2b1e7">Re:Cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Cake : Yeah, you're definitely super sensitive.  Sorry, but that's just how I see it.   The idea that food on a tux is somehow a big unusual ordeal that makes a ton of extra work for the person at the dry cleaners or that a cake decorator, who knows his or her creation is going to be cut up and EATEN would be upset or depressed at the idea that it might be smashed against someone's face before making it into the mouth is just 6 kinds of dramatic.  I assume these super special souls who are so deeply tied to their cakes make it a point to add into the contract that no children be allowed to eat their artwork, since God only knows how many Xanax it would take to get them out of the depression THAT might create. I get what you're saying about sympathising with underpaid employees, but you make it sound like smashing the cake in each others' face has some sort of butterfly effect that causes hours of extra work multiple people that they won't be paid for and cause undue mental duress to the cake baker should they ever hear about it.  It's absolutely ridiculous.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


I don't agree, but differing opinions is what makes the world interesting.

jennylee813

Hmmm ... I have no opinions on the smashing thing, other than it's not for me.

we're undecided on the cake thing as a whole right now. Our caterer is providing dessert with the meal (it is cake as well, pre-sliced and placed at each setting). I've been thinking about doing the cupcake thing as well, but having just tiered cupcakes with a topper on top of that. Then, if we decide to do a cutting, we could simply slice a cupcake in half and feed it to each other that way.

Looks like a cake, IS cupcakes, and everyone gets the same things. Win win.

StephJean83

In Response to Re:Cake:
I just cringe when I see anything that makes unecessary extra work for employees that have to pick up afterwards, or clean the rentals.  I've seen cake smashing that ends up all down the front of the groom's tux (rental in most cases), which means that some poor (most likely underpaid, and most definitely not going to be tipped) soul now has to work extra hard.  But then again, I'm the sort that won't leave towels on the floor at hotels, and always tip employees that most people don't. Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

To the first bolded point, you would cringe every time my FH eats, especially when he is in his suit(which goes to the dry cleaners after events) because he ALWAYS spills on himself. I actually ran out of my Tide pen at the last wedding we were at because 3 or 4 different guys in addition to my FH spilled food on themselves and wanted to combat it right away. I can't even begin to guess how much food he will spill on himself when we get married.

To the second bolded point, I also pick up towels at hotels as well as "stripping" my bed of the linens. I worked at a relatively small hotel(we had 61 rooms) and even though I was front desk I would strip the beds and wash laundry, so I know the work that the hotel does do when cleaning rooms. I always tip housekeepers($1/day for my stay if I stay more than 1 night and have limited to no service, if I stay one night I usually leave $2 flat).

I say to each their own on smashing cake or not smashing cake. We won't be having cake, we are doing cheesecake. We will still cut and serve each other but who knows on if we will smash it or feed it nicely.