Uh, normal to invite yourself...?

MandK9

To date, I have had three people who did not make the cut for my guest list ask about what date they need to save, or tell me they can't wait for my wedding.

It's all been on facebook, so I haven't exactly dealt with the problem.  First of all, what the hell-- is that not bizarre to assume you're invited? Second, I'm limited due to space restrictions, so I can't just keep adding them to appease them. So I mean, I guess I know I have to tell them just that, but I wanted to know if anyone else has had to deal with this.

kathrynhabibti

Well... I don't know if I'd say it's bizarre. I guess it depends on the relationship they believe they have with you? That being said, I myself would never assume I was invited to a friend's wedding and definitely wouldn't ask.

Secondively, and this is just my own opinion, I wouldn't qualify to people why they weren't invited (space restrictions, budget concerns, etc); I feel like that opens you up to people arguing your point ("but it'll just be the x of us!", "we'll pay for ourselves/won't eat/come after dinner"). Just say that unfortunately, you couldn't invite all the people you wanted to, but that you'd like to have them over for dinner/go out for drinks/some other activity after the wedding.

Aedes18

My ex asked "So is there a date that I should be reserving?".My FI isn't comfortable with him being there so I said, "No, it's far away and there isn't a date you need to worry about." People who say this are either clueless or rude so I would recommend being as gentle as possible and saying things like, "unfortunately our venue is small and we aren't able to invite everyone we would like to." If you really like this person you can say something like " Fi and would love to meet up with you though so perhaps we can have our own special night together?"  Good luck dealing with this!

Beachy730

Yeah, we had afew people say stuff to us randomly when we would see them..  We didn't have space constraints to worry about, but I also wasn't inviting someone I worked with 4 years ago and haven't talked to since.  When it happened to us it was alwaysin person, putting us on the spot, but I would just talk about something else fast.  Or the people who would say "I can't wait for my invite," or "I better be invited," I would just laugh and say we'll see.  You have over a year until your wedding so you can just say something like "Since our venue is keeping us to a small guest list we aren't making any final decisions on it until closer to the wedding."  From my experience, as it got closer to the wedidng and the invites going out people had more class and didn't say anything. 

I don't remember ever saying anything to people before about being invited to their weddings, unless of course it was a really close friend or family member that I knew would of course invite me, but after going through it myself I know I will always be more careful of what I say now to people who are planning weddings.

twilight.rose

It's rude of people to ask if they're invited, but unfortunately it happens all the time. Just tell them the truth, that you're limited in who you can invite due to space restrictions. Say something along the lines of "I'm so sorry, but due to the size of the venue, we've decided to have a very intimate wedding" and leave it at that. No more explanation is needed.

Trae021

I've also gotten FB comments like that but they're people I haven't seen in 3 years.  I just always ignore them!

Catwoman708

It's rude of people to assume or ask if they are invited, it makes it awkward for everyone. 

But I have to point out that talking about your wedding, wedding planning etc... on FB invites these comments.  Unless all your FB friends are invited to your wedding, it's like talking about attending a fun party in front of others who are not invited. 

You can either ignore the comments, change the subject, or tell them that unfortunately, you couldn't invite everyone you wanted to invite, there just was not room.  It's a dreaded chore to have to do this, but it's part of being a grown up.