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Wedding Etiquette Forum
akhensley81
member
My stalker...
... is back.
Most of you probably remember my LJ post about this guy from back in May/June or so. CN if you weren't here/don't remember: supercreepy guy was emailing/calling me constantly and saying random or inappropriate stuff. At the time, the owners of the company called him and asked him to stop calling here. They also blocked him from e-mailing me. And it stopped.
Until about 2 weeks ago. I found several random voice mails from him in a couple of the empty voice mail boxes in our system. And today he called. He kept asking me questions and wouldn't let me get off the phone (previously I would just listen to whatever it was he had to say, say thanks and good bye, and that was that).
So I told him that I know he was asked to stop calling, at which point he promptly hung up on me. A couple of minutes later he called back, told me I was wrong, then hung up again. And I've gotten a number of hang up calls since (we don't have caller id so I can't prove it's him).
I told my boss, who doesn't want me to call the police. He's going to send him a letter threatening legal action if it doesn't stop. And I told my boss 1 more call from him, and I'm calling the police myself. This is officially freaking me out.
Just to make this post a question... for those of you with legal background... is there anything the police can do? I mean, he's not directly threatening me. Just being a total creep-o.
Most of you probably remember my LJ post about this guy from back in May/June or so. CN if you weren't here/don't remember: supercreepy guy was emailing/calling me constantly and saying random or inappropriate stuff. At the time, the owners of the company called him and asked him to stop calling here. They also blocked him from e-mailing me. And it stopped.
Until about 2 weeks ago. I found several random voice mails from him in a couple of the empty voice mail boxes in our system. And today he called. He kept asking me questions and wouldn't let me get off the phone (previously I would just listen to whatever it was he had to say, say thanks and good bye, and that was that).
So I told him that I know he was asked to stop calling, at which point he promptly hung up on me. A couple of minutes later he called back, told me I was wrong, then hung up again. And I've gotten a number of hang up calls since (we don't have caller id so I can't prove it's him).
I told my boss, who doesn't want me to call the police. He's going to send him a letter threatening legal action if it doesn't stop. And I told my boss 1 more call from him, and I'm calling the police myself. This is officially freaking me out.
Just to make this post a question... for those of you with legal background... is there anything the police can do? I mean, he's not directly threatening me. Just being a total creep-o.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My stalker...
She went to the police with the messages and voicemails and they said that they couldn't file a restraining order because he hadn't threatened her. However, they would go talk to him personally and tell him to stop calling, or else they would be able to file one. So they talked to him, and he stopped for a couple weeks. The next time he contacted her, they filed the restraining order because at that point, he was violating the police order.
I was advised to do the same thing when I had a situation at the bookstore I worked in. Eventually the police had a chat with him and that was the end of that. Good luck, stay safe and trust your instincts.
In other (somewhat related) news... I'm waiting to hear from that company I've been interviewing with to get me the eff out of here. I had my 2nd (likely final) interview on Thursday last week.
Married!
Edit: at least some Temporary Order.
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
[QUOTE]Some people are so WEIRD!
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]
THIS is the story of my life!
Married!
I had to get a restraining order on my ex and it was terrifying but I'm glad I did it.
Good luck and huge hugs. Keep us updated on how you are doing!
Also, if he keeps calling and you don't have caller ID, hang up on him. I don't why he didn't "let" you get off the phone. Really, there's no reason you should actually be speaking to him beyond hello and finding out it's him.
1. If he calls, say something like, "I asked you to stop contacting me, I'm calling the police." Then do so. Explain to the police what happend and if you are scared.
2. Keep a log. Ask friends and co-workers to do so also.
3. Ask for the business records (phone or email). You can subpoena them if you file for an injunction.
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
I don't think he could figure out my new last name, and definitely everyone here knows what's going on so if I left and he called and asked, they wouldn't tell him anything.
I think I'm going to call the police tomorrow. I can't really sneak off for any amount of time except for a lunch break and the office hours are the same as my work hours. I'll leave at lunch tomorrow and call. I'll let you know all know what happens.
Married!
Married!
[QUOTE]I agree with TR--Eff your boss for not wanting you to call the police. But I would defintiely call or go to the police, like shoegal said, then the background is documented. Because pretty soon the police will have to be involved. And I'd start <strong>*67</strong> that $hit. Isn't that the call trace function? Where you won't see it, but the phone company has a record of the calls. I mean your company might get charged for it, but who cares. better to get as much info on this situation as possible. I was advised to do the same thing when I had a situation at the bookstore I worked in. Eventually the police had a chat with him and that was the end of that. Good luck, stay safe and trust your instincts.
Posted by Pirata13[/QUOTE]
FYI, *69 is call trace, *67 is to hide your number when you call
[QUOTE]I don't think the police can do anything except give a warning, right? Unless he tries physical violence, <strong>then they can give a restraining order</strong>, which usually only angers the person.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
Which at least would give you a legal basis for keeping him away. Even if it angers him, most people are too cowardly to try to violate a restraining order.
And I agree - at least talk to the police so they have a record and see what they recommend.
40/112
[QUOTE]Oh I've been keeping track. Every call, voice mail, and email is documented and saved. <strong>I don't think he could figure out my new last name</strong>, and definitely everyone here knows what's going on so if I left and he called and asked, they wouldn't tell him anything. I think I'm going to call the police tomorrow. I can't really sneak off for any amount of time except for a lunch break and the office hours are the same as my work hours. I'll leave at lunch tomorrow and call. I'll let you know all know what happens.
Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]
Also, your marriage is public record and there are online data bases where you can search someone and it will tell you if their married and to whom
Sorry to hear this AK. I would probably go down to the police station and talk to an officer to see what your options are and what you should do. That way you aren't necessarily calling the cops on him, just asking what you should do.
I can understand how scared you are. I had a stalker about 8 years ago probably, and I knew who it was. I had stopped at one of those cell phone kiosks in a mall to ask something about my billing, and the guy talked to me forever. He asked me for my number, which I stupidly gave, but I had already given it to him to look up my account anyways. He called me for several months. First from his number then he started blocking his number. When it was blocked he never said it was him, he would just breath into the phone. Then he started making threatening phone calls, saying he knew where I lived (he had my address from my account) and all this stuff. I found out for sure that it was him when one day he called from a blocked number but left me a nice voicemail with his name and saying he was calling to see how I was. A guy I bartended with at the time knew how scared I was and right after he called one time, the guy I worked with blocked the number and called back. This guy screamed at the stalker saying to leave his girlfriend alone or he would kill him, and that he knew where he worked and if he ever called me again he would be at his work the next day to kill him. Pretty extreme, but I never heard from the guy again. I was definitely really scared though, and I honestly couldn't tell you why I never called the police.
That website has other resources that you may want to check out.
Don't minimize the stalking behavior simply because he has not threatened you (yet). Take action now before the behavior escalates. I was the victim of a stalker for literally years, and I often wonder whether I could have avoided some of that had I taken action when the behavior first started.
Edit: grammar. (long day)
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
Married!