Am I stressing too soon over the rehearsal?

peppera

So how much time in advance do you need to plan your rehearsal,the dinner,etc?4 months away from my wedding now.My Future in laws s have not said a word about the rehearsal.(except several months ago,a suggestion was brought up where they might like to have it,but it was just a city location,not an actual place)We(my mother and I) keep dropping hints.I am getting a little concerned,but at the same time I don't want to get pushy.I am the kind to get things done early(I know not everyone is like that).They will usually wait til time comes closer to plan things out.Maybe that's what they're doing? Am I just stressing too much? Let me know what you think...

rebarobert2012

I wouldn't assume that your fiance's parents are planning to host the RD unless they have specifically come out and said so.  A lot of brides and grooms plan and pay for their own RDs nowadays.  If you are concerned about it, just start planning it yourself.

peppera

yes they had offered several months ago,when they made that suggestion on where they might do it.(Several months,I mean like 6 months or longer than that).They just havent said anything else really since then.So yeah the money is stress too.

If you are not required to have one(the actual rehearsal or dinner),maybe I should just drop it.Cause there's alot other things I could be spending my stress on! lol.I just know I will never hear the end of it from my mother...she's very traditional

 

 

peppera

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-stressing-soon-over-rehearsal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d9f47adc-f626-40c8-8f63-d05d9ac9ab95Post:a103ed7a-d423-46ca-bdf9-5ea3b53c8933">Re: Am I stressing too soon over the rehearsal?</a>:
[QUOTE]Meh, I don't think rehearsals are that big of a deal unless you're having a super complicated ceremony.  Two weeks before our wedding, my parents offered to host an RD except that we didn't do an actual rehearsal so they really just hosted a dinner.  Depending on how many guests you would have, I think you're fine.  We had about 20 or so guests and easily found a restaurant that could accomodate.  If you're that worried, then just host it yourself.  Oh, and I would stop dropping hints.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes this is a good idea.I will have 20 something people @ mine.Just can't pick out anything fancy,restaurant wise lol.And if you found an easily to accomodate restaurant,I could too! =) thank you,your post is somewhat relief to me..</div>

Kate61487

Depends on how big your group is.  if you're looking at a 50+ person rehearsal/RD and are planning to have it at a restaurant then I'd get to reserving a place sooner rather than later.  If you're having a 20 person event you can probably handle that with just a month or so to go. 

We had 50+ people at ours, b/c with immediate family, BP, SOs and kids it got pretty large BUT we just had it at my parents, so I don't think we officially picked the menu until about a week before, and then that was H's job that day, to go to the store and various restaurants to pick everything up.  NBD.

I agree with PPs that if it's making you nervous it's best to plan what you can afford and not count on FILs

mica178

Has your FI talked with them about the rehearsal/RD?

Early on, my then-FMIL told me that she and then-FFIL would come out to CA to meet my parents and to look for RD sites, so I knew that they planned on hosting, and I knew when we'd start checking out places.  However, my ILs offered to host the RD from the start and were vocal about their plans.

We had to make plans fairly far in advance because my ILs were from out of state and wouldn't be able to visit the location of the wedding more than once and because they planned on a large RD with 70 guests.  There are only so many places that can hold that kind of crowd, and they all need advanced reservations.

So if you are 4 months out from the rehearsal, you don't need to panic unless you are planning on a large rehearsal dinner.  But I would figure out who is hosting.  If your FILs haven't stepped up yet, I'd plan on hosting it yourself.

dumdumfroggie

If you know where you're having it, call the restaurant and see how far in advance you can book it.

But, I would start working on places to have it at least, if you don't know.

annakb8

Maybe your FIL's don't intend to host a rehersal dinner. You should probably just start planning it yourself. 

lbarr088

I agree with froggie.  

My wedding isn't until September 2012, however FIs dad just booked the rehearsal venue.  A lot of places around us book really fast, otherwise I would've thought he was a crazy person .  I would find some options and make sure they have your date then book as soon as you are able to.