Wedding Etiquette Forum

A spinoff: How do I get over my fear of makeup?

I've been meaning to ask about this for a while, and doctabroccoli's thread just made me think about it, so here goes.

I'm one of those people who really doesn't know what makeup is all about, or how I should buy it, or how to put it on well, or any of that. I wear it maybe two or three times a year, and only for really special occasions. The last time I bought makeup was a few years ago when I had a girlfriend who knew what to buy and would pick it all out for me, but I'm not friends with that girl anymore, and I don't really have a replacement makeup friend.

Where do I even start? I get nervous when I go into stores like Sephora because I feel like an imposter. Should I be planning on having a stylist do my wedding makeup? Or will I just look like a clown? What if I like my natural look, and so does Charlie, and I want to look like myself for the wedding? Will a makeup lady respect that? Or if I go into Sephora with so little knowledge and ask for help, will I walk out with a million expensive things that I have no idea how to use?

This is what I look like normally:



And this is the most dramatic makeup job I ever did:



Tell me what to put on my face!!
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Re: A spinoff: How do I get over my fear of makeup?

  • I never wear make-up, so I'm having a make up artist do mine.  I intend on telling her to make it look natural, not dramatic, and I hope she respects that.  I have a trial beforehand to make sure.
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  • 1) Your new sig pic is totally cute!

    2) You don't have to wear makeup on your wedding day if you don't want to!

    3) If you chose the professional route, have a trial before hand and tell her you'd like something natural that just enhances your best features.
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  • opalsky007opalsky007 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited April 2011
    Go to Sephora. Tell them you're getting married, and you want to look like yourself, but more dressed up for the pictures. They'll ask you about your usual routine and then start trying some things on you, and showing you techniques.

    They'll draw all of it onto a little diagram of a face, with the names of everything they used, and tips on how to use it. No pressure to buy that day! When you're ready, you can buy whichever products you want, and either skip the rest or get the cheaper version at the drugstore.
  • Find a stylist you like who listens to you. This is very important. Tell her you like your natural look and ask if she can highlight that. Do a test, take pictures, show us, get feedback.
  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2011
    I personally think that even if you want a natural look, a little bit goes a long way with photographs, and I would at least give it a try.  I wouldn't want to look like someone completely different on my wedding day, but there are ways to enhance your features naturally without making you look like a hooker.

    I would ask for some recs on good makeup artists that listen to you and respect wanting natural makeup.  Then I'd go see one.  Go in with your normal face, say "this is what I normally wear.  I want to look like me, I want to look really natural, but I want a little to help enhance my features and look good in pictures." (EDIT:  Not to say you don't look good in pictures without it.  Ugh, I hope you know what I mean) Have them do your makeup.  Hopefully she'll communicate with you throughout, and don't be afraid to say something seems like too much.  If you hate it, you don't need to do it on your wedding day, but you may be pleasantly surprised.

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  • I second going into Sephora and telling them exactly what you want.  I do wear make-up on a regular basis but around the time of the wedding I needed a new foundation color (summer I was tan, October I was not lol) and I also wanted opinions on eye make up for the day.  They were awesome about selecting my color and helping me choose eye makeup that would blend well.  I highly recommend going in there and just trying it out.

    BUT, if you don't want to wear make-up on your wedding day and that is how you feel comfortable then I say don't wear any!
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  • I suck at makeup too, which is why I had my SIL do it for me (she's a Mary Kay consultant). I think it would help to have a little makeup so you aren't washed out in the camera lighting and your skin tone looks even, etc (not that it isn't in your pic, I just mean in general).

    I put my faith in my SIL and told her to pick what would look the most natural and the best with my skin tone, but I didn't want it to look like the makeup was caked on. She did just what I asked and it looked great. So like manda said, if you go that route get someone who listens and does exactly what you want (and do a trial beforehand).
  • I think I do want to wear some, and I may even want to make it a little more special than usual. I'm just nervous about the whole thing.

    Maybe I should try going to Sephora and see what happens.
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  • You have three months. Keep trying things until you find that you're comfortable. Maybe start now, though, to give yourself lots of time. (PS if you lived in DC already I know where the best Sephora is and I'd totally go with you. Just sayin.)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_spinoff-over-fear-of-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dac73907-edc8-4cdc-a4cc-8ce7f504b6f9Post:5f917adf-b8fd-485f-a62c-8ce18dcaa63f">Re: A spinoff: How do I get over my fear of makeup?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think I do want to wear some, and I may even want to make it a little more special than usual. I'm just nervous about the whole thing. Maybe I should try going to Sephora and see what happens.
    Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

    Don't be intimidated or feel like an impostor.  Every experience I've had in there they have been more than willing to help!
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  • Thanks guys! I will try to be brave.
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  • Just a note about Sephora -
    If you want a full makeover, you have to have an appointment.  Andplusalso, they usually make you buy a $50 giftcard, which isn't a big deal if you're just gonna turn around and buy makeup anyway.

    I had a bad experience there, because I wanted "more" for my eyes for my wedding makeup, and I ended up with too much.  However, we took FI's sister (who also doesn't wear makeup a whole lot), and we told the consultant to keep it natural.  And she did. 
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  • I'd get a make up artist and I'd definitely have a trial!  Tell her you like natural.  She should be able to make you feel like yourself :)

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  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2011
    If you're thinking about buying your own makeup to wear everyday or on special occasions, I'd go into a good department store and ask for help at a makeup counter. I know you're a lot younger than me so others might have good recommendations about good makeup for someone your age, but I did that years ago at the Lancome counter at Bloomingdales in NY. I do wear makeup, but felt like I needed an update. I made it clear that I wasn't necessarily going to buy everything, but that I wanted some help "modernizing" my look. It was a man and he was fantastic -- he knew what I was going for, showed me different makeups, put them on me to see how they worked, and that set my look for years after.

    But I'd only do this at a department store where they've got fully staffed makeup counters, which a lot don't anymore (at my Macy's for example, the same person staffs multiple counters and no one knows a thing about any of the lines). Try Bloomingdales or Saks or Nordstroms or something comparable.

    For day of, ask around for recommendations for salon people and then do a trial asap because you  might not like the first person you go to (I didn't) and might need time to look around for someone else.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_spinoff-over-fear-of-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dac73907-edc8-4cdc-a4cc-8ce7f504b6f9Post:ffa44eef-0d92-40d2-8a2b-32d54a7d0933">Re: A spinoff: How do I get over my fear of makeup?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you're thinking about buying your own makeup to wear everyday or on special occasions, I'd go into a good department store and ask for help at a makeup counter. I know you're a lot younger than me so others might have good recommendations about good makeup for someone your age, but I did that years ago at the Lancome counter at Bloomingdales in NY. I do wear makeup, but felt like I needed an update. I made it clear that I wasn't necessarily going to buy everything, but that I wanted some help "modernizing" my look. It was a man and he was fantastic -- he knew what I was going for, showed me different makeups, put them on me to see how they worked, and that set my look for years after. But I'd only do this at a department store where they've got fully staffed makeup counters, which a lot don't anymore (at my Macy's for example, the same person staffs multiple counters and no one knows a thing about any of the lines). Try Bloomingdales or Sakes or Nordstroms or something comparable. For day of, ask around for recommendations for salon people and then do a trial asap because you  might not like the first person you go to (I didn't) and might need time to look around for someone else.
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I like this idea.  A month or so ago, I was wondering around the Clinique counter looking for moisturizer.  Their manager was very helpful.  It was a slow afternoon, so she asked if she could give me a makeover.  Before she even brought out any makeup, she really listened to what I wanted.  </div><div>
    </div><div>She also saw my e-ring and asked when the wedding was.  She and I reallly clicked, and she offered to do my makeup for the big day.  I'm going to have a trial with her next month.</div><div>
    </div><div>OP, if you don't normally wear makeup and are worried about your skin being irritated, try Clinique.  I have very sensitive skin and have never had a problem with any of their makeup.

    </div>
  • Bare Minerals/Bare Escentuals stores will do makeovers, as well. They have a starter kit with some of the basics, and you can add on as you like.

    It isn't cheap, but it is good stuff, and will last a while. If you do use it, I recommend a face primer for your wedding.

    For mine, I used all Clinique makeup - foundation was a long wearing one. I wore a little extra blusher, and a little darker lipstick, and went heavier on the mascara, and the photos are me, but "nicer." I always feel like rubbing makeup off around 4 anyway.
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  • I'll ditto the Sephora recommendation.  As I mentioned before, I used to not wear any makeup.  I still mainly don't, but now I have all sorts of goodies and feel comfortable doing what I think needs to be done to have a night on the town.
  • I also don't really wear makeup that often.  I think that if you don't want to wear makeup, then don't!  No one will care, really, and you'll feel comfortable in yourself.

    However, if you do want to wear makeup, I would definitely suggest looking into a makeup artist or find a stylist at a salon who can do it for you.  Have a trial first, to make sure that you like how it looks and let them know that you want it to look more natural.  They should respect that.

    I do think that for me anyway, not having to do my own makeup on my wedding day and worry if I would do it right since I don't do it too often, it was less stress to let someone else do it.  I knew what it would look like since we had had the trial, and I had confidence she could recreate that look. 

    Just a thought :).
  • Just personal preference, but I'd rather go to a department store than Sephora. For some reason, Sephora intimidates me. And I'm not easily intimadated!
  • Another option is to go to a MAC counter in a department store or their store.  I went to a MAC store a month before the wedding and did a quick trial.  The consultant was great and wrote down all the colors and formulas I wanted so the artist who would do my wedding day makeup would know what to use.

    On the day, I went back to the store and had my face done.  Since it was their store, they had a little room off to the side and it was great!  The service cost $50, but I got a $20 mascara as part of the service.  My makeup held out great all afternoon and into the evening.

    Like PP have said, the communication with the makeup artist is important.  Keep at it until you get the look that is comfortable for you.
  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    5000 Comments
    edited April 2011
    Luckily my brother's kinda-sorta girlfriend is a MAC artist and goddamn makeup genius so she pretty much takes care of me.  Because while I buy a sh*tton of makeup, I don't actually wear it very often.  I don't know anything about how to do eyeliner, or how to curl my eyelashes, or how to blend eyeshadow or WTF a bronzer is....

    I second Clinique and Bare Escentuals.  Because you sound like you prefer the more natural look, I think MAC and Sephora might be a little too much for you - even when I asked for more natural there, they tended to go for a more glamourized look (or at least made me look like I had more product on than I wanted).  Clinique and Bare Escentuals have always seemed kind of more minimalistic in their makeups. 
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  • I think it comes down to whether you'd like to have a makeup collection to use after the wedding. If so, it's worth it to go to Sephora or Macy's and ask the employees to help you pick stuff out and show you how to use it. If you don't want a makeup collection, then just hire a makeup artist for your wedding and make it very clear that you want to look like your natural self. I think you might spend more going to Sephora, which is fine if you want to have makeup to use again.

    Also, if you're interested in tutorials, I like Lauren Luke's. I am way better at eye makeup now because of her videos.
    http://www.youtube.com/user/panacea81


  • I skipped most of the replies, so my apologies if I repeat a bunch of things.

    First, you do not have to wear make up on your wedding. You want to be comfortable and feel like yourself. That said, make up can be nice to have in photographs. 

    Second, I wouldn't recommend a make up artist if you're not comfortable with make up already. If you'd like to go the professional route, make sure you do trials beforehand so you're not surprised at all. The few times I've had make up done professionally, I hated it. I prefer to have control over what my face looks like, and I always felt like a clown. I'd recommend going to sephora and letting them know what your concerns are.

    These are the things that I use daily: Moisturizer/sunscreen, concealer for undereye circles, a sheer foundation (whatever works for your skin type), liquid eyeliner, and mascara. Most of the time, guys don't know I'm wearing makeup. Girls notice the liner and mascara because they're girls. I've found that with these, I still look like myself, but just a little bit more done up and put together. 
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  • Also, I second the Clinique recommendations. It's really gentle and hypoallergenic. I think it looks the most natural :)
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  • I would definitely say to go the makeup artist route for two reasons:
    1) You don't wear much makeup so buying makeup from Clinique/MAC/Sephora isn't really going to benefit you
    2) because you don't wear much makeup you won't be as comfortable and skilled at putting it on - its your wedding day and there will be 8000 things going on,  the last thing you want is to have a panic attack because you can't get your makeup to look right. 

    A good makeup artist will know exactly how to make you look amazing and natural with a look that will translate well into photos and last all day

    My makeup artist is amazing.  During my trial she listened to exactly what I wanted and if I didn't like something she tried something else.  I have zero qualms about having her do my makeup on the big day

    So...see if you can get a recommendation on a makeup artist and definitely do a trial run!  If your makeup artist isn't listening to you about what you want, then find another!
  • Thanks for all the different perspectives, guys! I think I may look in both directions - considering doing it myself, but also researching and pricing out makeup artists. I can definitely see the benefit of using a stylist so that I don't have to worry about it at all on the big day. I really do suck at putting it on.

    Anyway, you guys have given me a lot to think about!
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  • I don't wear makeup on a regular basis.  MUAs in my are are crazy expensive.  So, I was going to get my makeup done at MAC.  I had a trial and hated it with a passion.  I decided that I would do my own makeup.  Youtube has been my savior.  There are so many makeup tutorials.  Also, the sales associates in Sephora have been super helpful.  They color matched my foundation perfectly.  I've never really worn foundation, but I'm in love with the one they sold me.  Seriously, it makes my skin look flawless.

    Anyway, I've gone off on a tagent.  My advice to you is this...  If you honestly think you'll never need to own makeup again, it will probably be cheaper to hire a MUA, even if you experience sticker shock.  If you want to own the products for future use, then DIY.  Go to Sephora or a makeup counter and let them know what you want to do.  

    If you DIY here is my advice:

    What to buy from the department store/specialty store like Sephora:
    -waterproof eyeliner (especially liquid)
    - face & eye primer
    -foundation
    -specialty makeup brushes (like a foundation brush)
    -possibly lipstick/liner
    -brow powder (if needed)

    What to buy from the drugstore (obviously much cheaper):
    -eyeshadow
    -mascara/false eyelashes
    -blush
    -bronzer
    -highlighter
    -basic brushes (blush, lip, eyeshadow)
    -concealer
    -lip conditioner
    -possibly lipstick/liner
    -nail polish 

    Good luck
  • Oh Sarah.  If I had been in Italy while you were there, I totally would have taken you shopping for makeup.  I LOVE MAKEUP.  Anyway, I won't give you any more advice, just to say, buck up and be brave!!  Of all the things that you should never be afraid of, it's makeup.  Why?  It washes off.  It's pretty much the only thing you can do to yourself that has instant appeal and instant changeability.  You can't cut your hair, or dye it or anything else that is so easily fixable.  Just keep that in mind! :)

    Hopefully you see this.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_spinoff-over-fear-of-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dac73907-edc8-4cdc-a4cc-8ce7f504b6f9Post:77097d62-5a87-4a6a-9e09-605258d7df3e">Re: A spinoff: How do I get over my fear of makeup?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh Sarah.  If I had been in Italy while you were there, I totally would have taken you shopping for makeup.  I LOVE MAKEUP.  Anyway, I won't give you any more advice, just to say, buck up and be brave!!  Of all the things that you should never be afraid of, it's makeup.  Why?  It washes off.   It's pretty much the only thing you can do to yourself that has instant appeal and instant changeability.  You can't cut your hair, or dye it or anything else that is so easily fixable.  Just keep that in mind! :) Hopefully you see this.
    Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

    Seen and duly noted!
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  • quirky75quirky75 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited April 2011
    Agreed with all the PP. My friend and I decided one day in high school we wanted to start wearing make-up so we went to Macy's to one of the beauty counters (Clinique maybe?) and the woman gave us tips for colors and such. We didn't feel pressured to buy everything either, which was nice, and bought a few of the things we liked best.

    Once you get some guidance from a more professional place, drugstores like CVS now have a "beauty advisor" position if you want/need to go a less expensive route and can recommend comparable products. Also CVS (and maybe others, I just know CVS from experience) allows you to return cosmetics even if you use them so you can try different ones out and return what you don't like, which is nice!
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