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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Concerned about guests RSVPing yes and not showing...
Ok ladies, I am not sure if this is the right place to ask about this but it is a serious concern of mine so I apologize if it isn't. Hoping that it is here is my issue: We want to invite 150 people to the wedding but I am concerned that people may rsvp yes and then not show up at the reception! How can I protect myself from wasting money on empty seats at the reception? I talked with my catering/hall manager and he said there really isn't much we can do aside from planning on everyone coming verses there not being enough seats and food but I was considering not doing asigned seating except for my for sure people and have the rest of the tables just open, that or just blantly call them shortly before the wedding to confirm they are really going to come and tell them if they don't I will have paid an arm and a leg per person for nothing lol. Any better suggestions?
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Re: Concerned about guests RSVPing yes and not showing...
[QUOTE]Ok ladies, I am not sure if this is the right place to ask about this but it is a serious concern of mine so I apologize if it isn't. Hoping that it is here is my issue: We want to invite 150 people to the wedding but I am concerned that people may rsvp yes and then not show up at the reception! How can I protect myself from wasting money on empty seats at the reception? I talked with my catering/hall manager and he said there really isn't much we can do aside from planning on everyone coming verses there not being enough seats and food but I was considering not doing asigned seating except for my for sure people and have the rest of the tables just open, that or j<u>ust blantly call them shortly before the wedding to confirm they are really going to come and tell them if they don't I will have paid an arm and a leg per person for nothing </u>lol. Any better suggestions?
Posted by krystelgotti[/QUOTE]
<div>The above would be, IMO, rude, and if I received a call like this from a bride after my yes RSVP, I'd probably decline. People dont show up-it happens-and there's nothing you can really do about it.</div>
[QUOTE]Ok ladies, I am not sure if this is the right place to ask about this but it is a serious concern of mine so I apologize if it isn't. Hoping that it is here is my issue: We want to invite 150 people to the wedding but I am concerned that people may rsvp yes and then not show up at the reception! How can I protect myself from wasting money on empty seats at the reception? I talked with my catering/hall manager and he said there really isn't much we can do aside from planning on everyone coming verses there not being enough seats and food but I was considering not doing asigned seating except for my for sure people and have the rest of the tables just open, that or just blantly call them shortly before the wedding to confirm they are really going to come and tell them if they don't I will have paid an arm and a leg per person for nothing lol. Any better suggestions?
Posted by krystelgotti[/QUOTE]
<div><strong>Treat all of your guests the same when it comes to accommodations.</strong> If your favorite aunt gets an assigned seat, so does your fiance's coworker's girlfriend.</div><div>
</div><div>No shows are a normal part of weddings, and there is no polite thing to do except eat the cost. Please don't make yourself crazy over this one; this is not a hill for any bride to die on. Either everyone who RSVPs yes will show up, or some won't.</div><div>
</div><div>Make your RSVP date as late as is reasonable for your venue deadlines so people are more likely to know their plans. The only time I've ever RSVPed yes when I didn't know for sure I'd be at a wedding was when the RSVP date was months before the wedding. (I made it.)</div>
Make sure you send the invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding and make the RSVP as close to your deadline for the caterer as possible (leaving yourself some time to contact anyone that hasn't responded).
If you plan on open seating, which I wouldn't recommend, make sure you have seating for 10-15% more people than you are expecting.
[QUOTE]Ok ladies, I am not sure if this is the right place to ask about this but it is a serious concern of mine so I apologize if it isn't. Hoping that it is here is my issue: We want to invite 150 people to the wedding but I am concerned that people may rsvp yes and then not show up at the reception! How can I protect myself from wasting money on empty seats at the reception? I talked with my catering/hall manager and he said there really isn't much we can do aside from planning on everyone coming verses there not being enough seats and food but I was considering not doing asigned seating except for my for sure people and have the rest of the tables just open, that or just blantly call them shortly before the wedding to confirm they are really going to come and tell them if they don't I will have paid an arm and a leg per person for nothing lol. Any better suggestions?
Posted by krystelgotti[/QUOTE]
Will your venue wrap up any uneaten dinners? This way at least you're getting some of what you paid for.
I definitely wouldn't call them beforehand because if they were going to pull a no-show, then a phone call isn't going to stop them.
Sometimes people suck and decide "meh, maybe I won't go afterall." Sometimes they have a legit reason, like they got ill or their flight was cancelled. It happens to the best of us. Plan the best you can and if anyone doesn't show up, just hope that they're okay and that it wasn't something serious.
[QUOTE]I would like to first start off by saying thank you ladies for responding to my question! This one has really been bugging me. I know realize my idea of doing the double check close to the date could be considered rude so I am going to scratch out that idea.<strong> I never want to be rude or inappropriate</strong> I am just a little concerned because <strong>my and my hubby to be are the only ones paying for this shindi</strong>g and we don't exactly have an abundance of money and certainly none to waste. I can't really say if our guests are habitual flakes because this is the first real party we will have ever thrown so that is what makes me even more nervous. I hope that all of our friends know how important and special our big day is to us and don't commit to come and then don't show up. Its costing us about 75 a person all said and done so I am just going to plan for everyone like the catering manager said, and pray to the Lord sweet Jesus for the rsvp yesers to come lol and <strong>if they don't at least we get to keep the food!</strong> <strong>I am sure someone would love to take some steak dinners home yummy!</strong>
Posted by krystelgotti[/QUOTE]
A few notes on the bolded parts:
1. Then you came to the right place!
2. We would give the same advice no matter who was paying or what the budget was.
3. Definitely keep up the positive attitude! Why let good food go to waste? <3
Fatty Blog
Mom to D.A (11.09) and 3 beautiful angels (06.08, 03.11, 07.12)
[QUOTE]I am going to be happy on my big day even if we have some no shows! <strong>Lol I am just going try to keep good contact with our guests, send out the save the dates, shower invites and invitations to allow for proper notice and planning and believe that our friends know how to let us know if for some reason they can't make it.</strong> I have heard some horror stories from other brides and even our DJ about his wedding about no shows in abundance which got me extremely nervous. I am sure now there was probably more to the story like a history of being flakes and casual invites verses formal ones. Like I said though no matter what I am not going to let it bother me. Like someone posted earlier, I have planned to spend this amount of money so be it. Hey maybe a few extras could show up and fill in the flaker's seats ; now thats something they like to do for sure in my guy's family lol
Posted by krystelgotti[/QUOTE]
About the bolded- you should not be sending out any shower inviitations. It is rude to throw your own shower. When shower invites go out is strictly the responsibility of the host. Your only involvement in shower planning should be helping to decide on a date for the shower and providing addresses to the host for the shower invitiations (based on how many guests the host has said they can accomodate).
[QUOTE]I would like to first start off by saying thank you ladies for responding to my question! This one has really been bugging me. I know realize my idea of doing the double check close to the date could be considered rude so I am going to scratch out that idea. I never want to be rude or inappropriate <strong>I am just a little concerned because my and my hubby to be are the only ones paying for this shindig and we don't exactly have an abundance of money and certainly none to waste.</strong> I can't really say if our guests are habitual flakes because this is the first real party we will have ever thrown so that is what makes me even more nervous. I hope that all of our friends know how important and special our big day is to us and don't commit to come and then don't show up. Its costing us about 75 a person all said and done so I am just going to plan for everyone like the catering manager said, and pray to the Lord sweet Jesus for the rsvp yesers to come lol and if they don't at least we get to keep the food! I am sure someone would love to take some steak dinners home yummy!
Posted by krystelgotti[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's funny, in your other post you're talking about how you'll buy everything on your registry plus more after the wedding. I think it's sad that you'll spend that money on yourself but are this concerned about spending the money on someone else...
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