As God is my witness, I will decline any and all future invitations to be in someone's wedding. This gem landed in my inbox today:
"If you need a hard copy of this let me know and I'll print you one! _______ & ________’s Wedding Bridal PartyWomen’s FAQ and Schedule The Basics! What You are paying for: Dressing Yourself, including Jewelry (other than said Bridal Party gift), alterations, $30 towards the Party Bus, Nails (Mani/Pedi if so desired, *is NOT required!*), and any drinks (including BYOB on the party bus, other than the champagne toast they provide) you consume. In addition, you will be paying for your participation in the Bridal Shower & Bachelorette Party. What I am Paying for that is related to your partcipation: Everything else!! Including but not limited to, florist services, hair service (thanks to __________), and aforementioned gift of jewelry. Wedding Week begins on Monday June 27th!!! I will be receiving the keys to the hall on that day, and we will begin arranging and decorating ASAP. I am taking the entire week off after Sunday night (except Tues Night for ___________), to stay focused and organized. Wedding Rehearsal will be on Friday, July 1st at 4:00pm, with BBQ to follow! Your significant others and/or children are welcome to come, as they are also to the wedding. (Don’t forget to specify that on your RSVP Card! I need to keep a solid headcount!) Projects: Things I would love help with preparing in advance:Centerpieces (25 of them: sand, shells, sea glass & candle)24 into 12 Table runners (sew 2 into 1 long runner per dbl table)Big bows (to be attached @ every other chair down the aisle) General Schedule for Wedding Week: Monday through Thursday (10am-ish – 8pm-ish): I thought I’d give a rough range of time in which I’ll need to accomplish things. Those times on different days will be specified as we get closer, and we have a better idea of our needs. We’ll need to transport all decorations & miscellaneous equipment to the Hall on those days. Then arrange and set up. This includes table dressings and pre-assembled décor (mentioned on first page). *I encourage anyone investing in Mani/Pedies Waxings, etc. to get them done on Thursday, as Friday will be busy with chair set-up and decorating at _________ house, followed by the rehearsal and BBQ!* REHEARSAL DAY: Depending on the time the chairs arrive (I should know this earlier on in the week), we will need to set up 170ish of them, and decorate the aisle and the trellis by 3:30pm, so we’re ready for Rehearsal at 4pm. WEDDING DAY: I want us all to meet at the ________________ for 8:30am. Do your showering in advance and just bring all your gowns, jewelry, make up, & optional *ahem* “beverages” 
(etc.)And please, for the love of all things Matrimonial, be on time! Clean/clear out your cars at least the day before, as we will be carpooling in 2-3 cars back to ____________ house. Whoever volunteers to leave their car at ______________ house will just have to arrange in advance for a ride back up to _________ with someone, which shouldn't be a big deal as many people will be heading back up that way. Girls (including flower girls) are gathering at ___________________.Boys (including ring bearer) are at ______________. I’m putting the guys in charge of setting up the PA and band equipment that day so we won’t need to worry about that. I will know better, as we get closer, when things like the flowers and cake will be delivered. HAIR! I need your decision as to whether or not you want your hair done by _________ that day. If you feel you can do your own hair the way you like it, that’s fine with me. I would like to give __________ a head count, so she knows whether she needs an assistant or not. Early Photo Session: I would like to be ready for photos for 1pm, so we can save some time later, and take “Girls” photos before the ceremony, in and around the garden (This idea was strongly advised to me by __________). Then head back inside for a quick toast before the ceremony. O.o There will be baked goods, juice, coffee, etc., in case we get hungry. After Party Clean Up! After the reception, we are responsible for the clean up of the place. I need all hands on deck, as we have the place till midnight, then keys go back in the morning. So, as not to lay it all on _________ the next day, and to get out of there as quickly as possible (_______ and I have a very early flight), we’ll all work together to do what we need to do as efficiently as possible. PS. Being “too drunk” is NOT an excuse to not help. I’ve gotten that one before. Just keep it in mind, as you go through the evening: Water is your friend." I just want to run as far away as possible from this wedding. 