Can we break etiquette on this?

M&R7111

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:bca63ef5-69ed-4a2c-876d-a7cad7a526f8">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was using nicknames to be cute. Didn't know diction was on trial here too. :P And for the record, I love my own dog, but if I just inherited someone else's dog, and that dog, who I didn't have a bond of any sort with, peed everywhere and ruined all my stuff, I know I'd be pretty ticked and wouldn't want it around either. Of course she doesn't want her fiance to be sad when the dog finally does die/run away. But she can hardly be blamed for not liking this dog. If she pets it, doesn't abuse it, tolerates it and doesn't force her FI to get rid of it with some sort of ultimatum, I'm not sure what the problem is. She's crazy because she doesn't like a destructive animal? I didn't read that entire thread (maybe I will later if I get time). But it just seems like everyone is being pretty brutal.
Posted by aurianna[/QUOTE]

Aurianna - I think what's going on here is the idea that if I could think such horrible things about the dog (wishing it would just go away already!) that I must be a horrible person all together.  Some people (well, many as it seems) are really sensitive about people saying mean things about animals.  From this I've become an "abusive asshole who hates children".  Of course, I am not this way and I don't let it get to me because these are people on the internet that have never met me and don't know me.

I get that people dislike me and think everything about me is horrible.  What I don't get is why they come on to my posts and comment at all - why not just ignore or block me?  I have a right to post anywhere on TK - and I try my best to ignore these people who "hate me".

People are mad that I'm "Back in the first place" but I never left - I just don't post unless I have a question,which is the purpose of these boards.    I have made comments on people's posts since my last post, and people have even responded to me in a "regular" way.  But I post some thread of my own and it's the "dog" thing again.  I've been on Chit Chat, which is where the dog post was originally made, and people from this very board who get on my case have given me very good advice - I guess they forgot who I was then?

I know the response from everyone will be "don't flatter yourself, we don't care that much about you" but they all seem to spend a lot of time trying to run me out of town and hijack my threads.

aurianna

Not going off on anyone. 100% calm. Just stating how things look to a casual observer.

And there are lots of living things that people want dead (vermin, animals we eat, etc). The only reason why this one isn't ok is because it's a creature her FI has formed a bond with.

I don't think reading that entire thread is going to change my mind anyway. She doesn't do anything to the dog. While there's a lot of negativity in her want for the dog to go away, it's just thoughts. She's entitled to want the dog to go away. As long as she doesn't actually hurt the dog or do anything that would make her FI sad... oh well.

salt78

M&R - That dog loves you and trusts you. And you have so much hate for him. You're lucky your FI keeps you around because I would never have ended up with someone who has such a vicious hate for my animals. Even if they pretend to care for them.

kellyjellybelly

ok, aurianna.  i think you're right, I don't think reading the entire thread will make you change your mind either.

And just to clarify, vermin are not domesticated house pets who depend on humans to live.

M&R7111

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:86aaddb9-8a1b-46c5-87d8-4da186403a43">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we break etiquette on this? : I'd stop talking if I were you.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]


Wow - that's a threat.  Geeze.

Watch out if you don't agree with everyone!  They will be on your ass next ! lol

waltzingmatilda13

Oh my god, just go away already!

kellyjellybelly

a threat?  really?

Birdie1483

I would say these two girls are making my stabby, but my FI might want to kill me and then a prosecutor will use that against me in my attempted murder trial...

M&R7111

Welp - enough of this nonsense for tonight!

I guess FI and I will have to hash out this issue - I think she should be invited, he does not.  I just told FI we will send the invite the way he wants, but when this guy calls it's up to FI to explain because it's his decision and not mine.

And I look forward to continuing the dog discussion the next time I post something on here.  Good night.

mkrupar

It was more along the lines of advice not a threat. And if 10 people are telling you you're wrong, then odds are you are. We don't disagree just to disagree.

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:55cd4ebb-ee3f-44e7-80d0-a02b24430dbb">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we break etiquette on this? : Wow - that's a threat. 
Posted by M&R7111[/QUOTE]

How so?
Maybe I was trying to help her out. She's quickly digging herself as big of a hole as you have gotten yourself into. (If that's possible.)

mica178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:57c4d2cb-4961-4f35-92af-6cf579b1627e">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say these two girls are making my stabby, but my FI might want to kill me and then a prosecutor will use that against me in my attempted murder trial...
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

Awesome.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:57c4d2cb-4961-4f35-92af-6cf579b1627e">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say these two girls are making my stabby, but my FI might want to kill me and then a prosecutor will use that against me in my attempted murder trial...
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

And it goes full circle Birdie.

kellyjellybelly

Good night sunshine!  

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:57c4d2cb-4961-4f35-92af-6cf579b1627e">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say these two girls are making my stabby, but my FI might want to kill me and then a prosecutor will use that against me in my attempted murder trial...
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

Nicely done. :)

Birdie1483

I just really don't get people who are so dense that they think they're going to win a dog argument with people have dogs with Santa beards in their siggy pics.

mica178

My dog has decided to judge both aurianna and M&K.  I think I will follow her lead.

aurianna

I love animals. I volunteered for a cat rescue group for years. I think people who torture or abuse animals should be locked up for a long time... but that doesn't mean that every person should be required to love every animal.

"OMG! The dog thinks she loves him when she really hates him! That's the saddest thing ever!" The dog doesn't care. She feeds him. She pets him. He's happy. In time she might grow to love him, or she may not. In the meantime, she's not hurting the dog in the least. There is no issue.

She might have said awful things. She's free to vent.
If she ever acts on any of those thoughts, I'll be the first to say she should be punished. Until then, on a board dedicated to etiquette and civility, you'd think she could find that here when she needs it. Apparently not.

And my response to "she wants a living thing to die" was stupid because the initial argument was also fallacious.


Anyway... hopefully OP has her etiquette issue solved. Clearly isn't going to get much help.

PS
I do adore Birdie's dog picture.

mkrupar

She still got the answer to her ettiquette question. It was just burried in all of the dog stuff. We all told her she needed to invite 10 year old GF. Whether or not she takes that advice has yet to be soon.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:c05345f0-fdca-4ba8-b12b-77dfcdc6ef6f">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Tee hee I CTM at kiki's post. And Auriana, your'e an idiot if you don't think dogs can tell how we really feel. I believe they're a better judge of characters than a lot of us people.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

Totally this. Dogs are definitely in tune with how you're feeling  and your attitude. Why do you think they're used as therapy dogs, and helper dogs. They can sense things about us that we can't even tell.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:7639248f-107f-4585-bb1d-38f96a8fdcac">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we break etiquette on this? : Totally this. Dogs are definitely in tune with how you're feeling  and your attitude. Why do you think they're used as therapy dogs, and helper dogs. They can sense things about us that we can't even tell.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

Ditto that. I bet that dog is just waiting for her hand to come down and wring it's neck. I hope he has sharp teeth and a good grip.

aleighk1

I don't even like dogs at all and I feel awful for M&R's dog. It's one thing to not like an animal but it is wayyy worse to say you want the animal dead.

krayzeechick05

Don't get me wrong, I own a Pit Bull so I'm very defensive over dogs.

But this comment

"I don't like other people's kids.  I can't tolerate them in restaurants when they are screaming"

Pissed me off more.  EVERY child does it.  And when yours do it (hopefully you'll never experience this) I hope you remember this comment you made and I hope every person gives you the dirtiest looks ever.  I also hope that someone comes up and complains to you, because obviously being the oldest of 14 cousins or whatever you've never experienced a temper tantrum.

You can get just as emotionally attached to your animals as your children because just about all owners consider their pets their children. 

Maybe you just have an emotional disorder?

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:c05345f0-fdca-4ba8-b12b-77dfcdc6ef6f">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Tee hee I CTM at kiki's post. And Auriana, your'e an idiot if you don't think dogs can tell how we really feel. I believe they're a better judge of characters than a lot of us people.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

If the dog is hanging out with her and wanting to be petted and such, then I imagine it thinks she likes it just fine. Idiotic to think so? Perhaps.

And civility is another word for <span style="cursor:default;background-color:transparent;">courtesy/</span><span style="cursor:default;background-color:transparent;">politeness which is a subset of etiquette. I just enjoy the irony of it.

I don't particularly think I've dug myself in a hole because I'm not trying to impress anyone. I know how well I treat my animals so I don't need to prove anything there. I just find it hilarious that someone can come here with an etiquette question and get totally maligned over something completely irrelevant. It's this bratty high school girl clique mentality. It's pretty funny.

And her question wasn't so much "can I not invite her." It was asking for advice on how to get FI onto her side. Hopefully she did get it answered.

That was fun. Time to feed the cat.
</span><div class="dndata"><span> </span></div>

ricksang

Poor puppy. I missed that thread.

Goldlie11

I didn't read the whole thing.  However, I have a similar situation.  My FI doesn't want to invite the SO of one of his guests.  After many arguments and telling him it's proper etiquette to invite the SO, I decided to let it go.  I don't know either of these people.  If FI's guest is offended by the SO being left out, it has nothing to do with me.  If that person doesn't attend because they can't bring their SO, again not my problem.  Marriage is about picking your battles.

I'm all about etiquette.  I think it's important.  But at this point the situation is out of my hands.  Let your FI make the decision.  

Birdie1483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_can-break-etiquette-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dda26097-3e0a-4986-84fd-5ca8aa29d7d5Post:4a5094c7-02fe-42ab-bca5-0205771eb5f7">Re: Can we break etiquette on this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can we break etiquette on this? : If the dog is hanging out with her and wanting to be petted and such, then I imagine it thinks she likes it just fine. Idiotic to think so? Perhaps.<strong> And civility is another word for courtesy/ politeness which is a subset of etiquette. I just enjoy the irony of it.</strong> I don't particularly think I've dug myself in a hole because I'm not trying to impress anyone. I know how well I treat my animals so I don't need to prove anything there. I just find it hilarious that someone can come here with an etiquette question and get totally maligned over something completely irrelevant. It's this bratty high school girl clique mentality. It's pretty funny. And her question wasn't so much "can I not invite her." It was asking for advice on how to get FI onto her side. Hopefully she did get it answered. That was fun. Time to feed the cat.
Posted by aurianna[/QUOTE]

I think you're mistaken, because I never tried to say I was trying being civil. I was telling you how I feel. What I really think isn't always civil, so there's no irony here.

Also, I still don't understand why you're trying to fight in an argument that you don't have all of the facts on. That's like me trying to argue that the healthcare reform bill should be passed when all I know about is what a few people have said about it. To make an assumption and fight for it without knowing all of the facts is truly ignorant.

emarston1

OP - if you really hated rehashing the dog issue so much, you would stop posting on this and other related boards.  A normal person would either stop posting or create a new screenname and start fresh.

There are a lot of animal lovers on this board so posting something about wanting an abused dog to just die already is akin to me going to a Mommy and Me play group and wishing all the babies die of SIDS.  Then being shocked when I return the next week and all the mom's hate me.

OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO HATE YOU.  You said something awful about something they love.  You can't expect people to just forget something like that.  You like the attention (whether you will admit it or not.)

ETA:  missed the post where OP said she was leaving.  Oh well, not like she would have listened anyway.

barrelbabe004

I'm pretty sure my dog knows I love him and loves me back.  As well as my horses.  I'm sorry that you don't feel that animals have emotions and know when someone loves them or not.

pinkpinot

Anyone who thinks she is actually sitting next to the dog petting it is a complete moron.  I just read her original post on chitchat.  There is no way in hell someone with that much hate & anger towards a dog is sitting around snuggling with it. 

M&R I hate you and people like you.