Wedding Etiquette Forum

Do-overs - I haz them

Or at least I wish I did.  If you could go back and have one do-over from your wedding, what would it be?  If you're still in the planning phase, what's the one do-over you wish you could have done during planning so far?

BONUS QUESTION - what is the one moment or choice in your past you wish you had a do-over for?  How would you change it?

Wedding: I wish I would have gone with a different reception site.  It was nice, and I didn't hate it, but I really wasn't satisfied with the way it turned out.  Also, they nickle and dimed me a bit near the end.

Life: I really really wish I had taken my junior year at high school more seriously and actually applied myself. I probably would have gotten into a much better college if I had.
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Re: Do-overs - I haz them

  • Wedding: I wish I had picked better jewelry, especially earrings. If I could have two do-overs the second would have been flowers.

    Life: I would have worked harder in college. A lot harder.
  • Wedding - getting down to the end of planning, and I wish I had done more actual real planning months and months ago, rather than just dreaming and fake wedding planning (looking at the pretty pictures for ideas, but waiting to the last minute to book some vendors ect).

    Life - I wish I would have just bit the bullet and did the full undergrad at the U after my 2 years off and made my school schedule my priority, rather than my work schedule.  I'd be long done by now.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_overs-haz?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ddf35175-d8a9-460c-a2c9-f248046e092dPost:d7cd1a37-5746-416a-9a1d-2e90e18e504c">Do-overs - I haz them</a>:
    [QUOTE]Or at least I wish I did.  If you could go back and have one do-over from your wedding, what would it be?  If you're still in the planning phase, what's the one do-over you wish you could have done during planning so far? BONUS QUESTION - what is the one moment or choice in your past you wish you had a do-over for?  How would you change it? Wedding: I wish I would have gone with a different reception site.  It was nice, and I didn't hate it, but I really wasn't satisfied with the way it turned out.  Also, they nickle and dimed me a bit near the end. Life: I really really wish I had taken my junior year at high school more seriously and actually applied myself. I probably would have gotten into a much better college if I had.
    Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

    If I could do it over again, I'd elope, kinda.  It would've been a wedding on a beach somewhere with family.  The problem was our budget.  I knew my brother wouldn't be able to afford a beach vacation with his family so I would've paid for them to come, then I would've felt I should pay for everyone.  At that point, it was out of the budget. 

    All because it was important to me that my brother an his family be there.  Wtf was I thinking?

    One point in time that I could change.  I would never, ever have dated the guy I dated in high school.  Hello downward spiral.

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  • Wedding Do-Over: (still planning) Wish I would have done cheap E-Pics Save-The-Date magnets instead of the ones I got with my invitation package.

    Life Do-Over: Instead of majoring in English, wish I would have changed it to English Education, that way I could have a job in my career right now rather than working in a restaurant before I start grad school.
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  • KentuckyKateKentuckyKate member
    1000 Comments
    edited August 2010
    I wouldn't have gotten my lip and eyebrows waxed two days before my wedding.  Even though I have done this hundreds of times at the same salon, this of course was the one time they gave me first degree burns.


    ETA: This is me the day before my wedding, even after using a dermatologist Rx for 24 hours since the burn.  Pretty sure I cried the whole day.





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  • Wedding - I wish I'd had someone videotape our best man's speech.  I really regret not having that. 

    Life - I wish I'd never married my first husband.  What a mistake - what a nightmare. 
  • Wedding - I would have stuck with H all night so we had more time together instead of letting us get separated by our respective families/people we had to chat up or dance with.  That led to the one sour note of the whole evening that I really wish I could take back.

    Life - I would have thought more about exactly what kind of career I wanted and chosen either a different major or gone straight to graduate school.  You can't do anything with a B.A. in Psychology and it's too hard to give up a full time job for grad school now.
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  • Wedding- I would have picked a different reception venue. I was happy with the end result because of price and convenience, but I would have loved something more fancy.

    Life- I should have studied harder in college.
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  • Wedding: I would have put my foot down on both guest list and expenses.  This wedding has gotten so much bigger and more elaborate than I wanted it to be.  I'm with Moose, I probably would have eloped.

    Life: I would have sought psychological treatment earlier, instead of thinking I could just slog through my anxiety, and I probably would have taken a few years off from graduate school before just pushing through it, because in the long run, it hurt more than it helped.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_overs-haz?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ddf35175-d8a9-460c-a2c9-f248046e092dPost:3771abfe-42ad-402c-a1a7-ad11d083f0e2">Re: Do-overs - I haz them</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wedding - <strong>I would have stuck with H all night so we had more time together instead of letting us get separated by our respective families/people we had to chat up or dance with.</strong>  That led to the one sour note of the whole evening that I really wish I could take back. Life - I would have thought more about exactly what kind of career I wanted and chosen either a different major or gone straight to graduate school.  You can't do anything with a B.A. in Psychology and it's too hard to give up a full time job for grad school now.
    Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

    Me, too.  We barely saw each other, now that I think about it.  After dinner and the first dance, we were off chatting with different people.  We'd come together every once in a while for a quick hug/kiss, but that was about it.  At the very end of the night we did get to dance with each other (and some pretty drunk/goofy friends), but . . . I agree with this one. 
  • Wedding:  I would have given myself more time to get ready.  I forgot my earrings, and we were rushing at the end to get there on time.  So, like an extra half hour or so to relax pre-wedding.

    Life: I would have gotten a job in my degree-field after college instead of taking the easy way out.
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  • Wedding - we are very close to our date, but only thing so far (ask me again in 6 weeks) I would have done is something smaller and destination.  I have so much anxiety about all these people coming from all over the country just for us, and being the center of attention for a whole date is starting to freak me out. 

    Life - I wish I had gone back for my PhD, I would love to be teaching in a business school right now instead of working in corporate america - I keep telling myself its not too late - but life is moving so fast.
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  • Wedding: I'd have had a small wedding on the beach, extended family be damned.

    Life: I'd have kicked my toxic friend to the curb before she had a chance to ruin my college experience (the first four years anyway- I made up for it my fifth year).
  • Beach wedding, for sure. Probably not destination since the beach is like, right here, but definitely something so we could get pretty pictures by the water.

    Life - eh, I don't know. Probably a different career path but that can still happen.
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  • Wedding. . . I'd have told H's brothers where to be and when, since they were late for pictures (and claim H didn't tell them it was REALLY serious.  WTF, guys?)  I'd have gotten a bunch of extra shawls since it was so cold, and had them go ahead and put the heaters in the tent after dinner.  And I'd have given the bus driver and videographer some additional specific directions.

    And the ceremony chairs.  I'd have had them fix those while we were taking pics.  AND I'd have had H and I face the guests during the ceremony, the way I wanted.  My BMs were worried about my dress getting in the dirt beside the flower bed.  I didn't care, but I didn't stand up to them on that one.  So, little things that mostly wouldn't have cost anything, but I didn't do b/c I didn't want to look like a 'zilla.

    Life. . . Too many to list.  BUT, that all plays into who I am today and how I got here and having met H and all, so probably I wouldn't really change things.  Much.
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Wedding: I wish I would have worn comfier shoes.

    Life: I wish I would have been more careful with my finances from the beginning. Now that we're buying a house, I feel guilty that my credit score isn't perfect like H's.
  • Wedding Do-Over: (still planning) I've been really pumped about our DW in Jamaica but my mom totally burst my bubble this weekend and now I'm having all these doubts thinking maybe I should have just made everyone happy and did the traditional wedding at home.  Now I'm not excited to send out the invites, go to my bridal shower and I just don't want to talk about the wedding to anyone and I can't wait for it to be over :-(

    Life Do-Over:  Study harder in college and finish in 4 years. 
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  • Wedding: Hasn't happened yet. I really can't think of anything that I wish were different. I thought maybe I wouldn't have enough time to pull it all together because I changed my mind about 15 times, but everything's pretty much coming together as planned.

    Life: I wouldn't have let what was supposed to be a one night stand freshman year of college turn into an unhealthy, 3 year relationship. Although, dating that guy was how I met FI. So I don't wanna take back the meeting FI part, but I could've done without the terrible relationship part.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_overs-haz?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ddf35175-d8a9-460c-a2c9-f248046e092dPost:5c201962-3738-4999-8b61-b8353f50d69f">Re: Do-overs - I haz them</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wedding Do-Over: (<strong>still planning) I've been really pumped about our DW in Jamaica but my mom totally burst my bubble this weekend and now I'm having all these doubts thinking maybe I should have just made everyone happy and did the traditional wedding at home.</strong>  Now I'm not excited to send out the invites, go to my bridal shower and I just don't want to talk about the wedding to anyone and I can't wait for it to be over :-( Life Do-Over:  Study harder in college and finish in 4 years. 
    Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

    Oh yes, completely.  Mom was at my fitting last week with me, and was so sad and mopey looking about not being with me on the day off, made me feel like the world's worst daughter ever.  Maybe I should have refused to cave to FI and agree to a DW.  But then I look at the vacation part and how much fun it will be with our best friends.
  • Wedding:  I'd have not tried to be nice and include my sister in the prewedding things.  She completely made my IL's mad and made one of my aunt in laws cry.  Then she went on to tell everyone that the wedding wouldn't have been so smoothe if she hadn't have been running around fixing everything.  Sorry, but the wedding was just fine until I felt guilty she wasn't included.  She's an estranged sister for a reason! 

    Life:  I wouldn't have quit diving and my free ride athletic scholarship to college my sophmore year.  I'd have stuck it out for 2 more years to not have school loans.
  • OH YEAH AND I WOULD HAVE PICKED A MORE FLATTERING WEDDING DRESS!!1111!!!!!!!!!i'mafatass!!!11111
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  • Wedding: I would choose a different photographer. We got married 3.5 months ago and still don't have our pictures. I also wish I hadn't worried so much about money and picked a dress that I really liked and perhaps when to places other than David's Bridal. I feel like I didn't get the full dress shopping experience.

    Life: I wish I had gone to a cheaper college. I went to a small private college and I hated it. I mainly went there because of it's location(far from home) but I should have gone to the public university that was only 45 min from home. I also would have not slacked off my junior year of high school.
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  • Kiki, on the one hand I wish I'd taken a job in my career field as well, but I wasn't ready to move to Atlanta at the time, and I also wouldn't have met my H, so I guess it worked out. Although I do sometimes wonder where I'd be in life had I gone to Atlanta (or even Savannah) to be a designer.
  • Wedding: I wish I started saving earlier, but with me out of work one year, FI out of work the next, it was just becoming too much -- we didn't want to put it off any longer because it seemed there's always a reason to put it off. We're having a great wedding and at the end of it, does it matter if I have amazing centerpieces or an amazing husband? I'll take the latter.


    Life: I wish I applied myself more in school or knew what I wanted to do with my life. If I'd known then I wanted to do something in graphics and design, I would have taken a different path.

    But I also believe that if things were different back then, I might not be with FI now. So I'm not really willing to change the path. If I have more time, I could still take some classes now.
    9.17.2010
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  • Wedding (Still in planning stage) - I wish our wedding and reception was on a Saturday evening instead of a Sunday afternoon.  The price for Sunday was more than 50% less, but cruising on the water at night would have been infinitely more romantic. 

    Life - I should not have married my daughter's father.  We were never a good fit, but when I found out I was pregnant, I had a unjustifiable, semi-compulsive urge to stay with him, so that our daughter would know her dad.  On the flip side, we are now amicably divorced, and she has an solid and loving relationship with her him.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_overs-haz?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ddf35175-d8a9-460c-a2c9-f248046e092dPost:4ace7865-b621-4c51-b3bb-3e5d91775cba">Re: Do-overs - I haz them</a>:
    [QUOTE]Kiki, on the one hand I wish I'd taken a job in my career field as well, but I wasn't ready to move to Atlanta at the time, and I also wouldn't have met my H, so I guess it worked out. Although I do sometimes wonder where I'd be in life had I gone to Atlanta (or even Savannah) to be a designer.
    Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, H and I pretty much had that exact discussion last night.  I wouldn't have met him if I had followed that career path.  I would have had to move to a small town after college, and I wanted to stay in Denver with my friends.  But you never know...
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  • Wedding - I would have cut down the guest list even more. Possibly done immediate family and a few friends at a fun destination, like Scotland. (I DID try to get FI to agree to have about 30 people come to Vegas, but no.)

    Life - I would have worked harder at saving money and budgeting.
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  • Wedding Planning: Honestly, I would have gone with what FI and I wanted from the get-go and either gotten married in a small ceremony on the beach somewhere or eloped to Vegas. This whole big wedding thing is going to put me in an early grave. If families hadn't given us such a guilt trip about their travel expenses we would have headed far far away.

    Life: in 11th grade I was in our school's pageant because I thought it was cool and because my 2 best friends were going to do it. I ended up embarassing the hell out of myself in my "talent" portion because I wasn't committed enough to choreograph anything and I just decided to "wing it" during the show. It was bad.

    I also would have tried harder to get a basketball scholarship and gotten a degree that I could have actually done something with instead of broadcasting - total waste.
  • wedding: i would have gone a different direction with my dress. the hassle of doing custom work wasn't worth it, and it didn't turn out quite how i'd imagined. also the weight gain prior to the wedding didn't help matters.

    life: i wish i'd tried harder in college and gotten better grades. or majored in something i actually liked, maybe computer science.
  • wedding: I wish I'd lost more weight before the wedding.

    life: I wish I'd never picked up a cigarette.
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