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Shower prizes end up going to bride?

Okay, this was a while ago but it's always bugged me.  I was at a bridal shower for a friend.  A lot of the shower prizes were little things (cake server, salt and pepper shakers, napkin rings) that while not on the brides registry, were similar to things that were.  I was really excited when I won the cake server as I had started getting into baking cakes and pies and needed one.  At the end of the shower the bride's mom or MIL (whichever was hosting I don't remember) whispered that the prizes were supposed to be given to the bride.  I thought it was weird.  She was registered for similar stuff and I had won that prize. I didn't want to look like a petty brat so I didn't aruge it and gave up the cake server. Is this common for shower prizes to be given to the bride at the end of the shower no matter who won the games?

This is gonna be a P&R since I have to go to work but I'll be back later this evening.
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Re: Shower prizes end up going to bride?

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    I agree, that sounds very strange.
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    I think this might be a regional thing.  That happened at H's cousin's baby shower, but that's the first time I'd ever seen it.  I thought it was weird.
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    I've only ever heard of this once before, and it was on this board, so no - I don't think it's normal.

    Every shower I've ever been to the prizes are candles or bath salts or some other girly-generic gift and the winner took it home.
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    Weird, and silly.  Why pass it off as a contest or prizes at all?
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    I hadn't seen it until I went to my own family shower in NE (I live in MI) and someone mentioned it. I didn't think much about it, but when I got home, I realized that most of the prizes had been stuck in with the other gifts I received.

    As the bride, I thought it was lame. Mostly because I don't want/need any of the totchkes that they were giving out as prizes. But secondly, because they're prizes! The person that wins should get to keep them.
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    angelstar975angelstar975 member
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    edited April 2012
    Um, no. That's not common. I've never been to a shower where the winner of a prize had to give it to the bride. You probably did the right thing by just giving up the cake server rather than cause any kind of drama, but IMO, it was pretty rude of them to ask you to.

    ETA - Apparently PPs have heard of this, but I've never seen it. I think I would be embarrassed if my mom or FMIL tried to do that at my shower.
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    This is so weird. What's the point of even giving them out then?
    Lizzie
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-prizes-end-up-going-to-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2aa282b-55fd-4e36-9c43-d7c4ad3d5200Post:8ec38171-fc6e-4ef0-a127-8cd18e6cf2c2">Re: Shower prizes end up going to bride?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is so weird. What's the point of even giving them out then?
    Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

    This is my thought.  Why make them "prizes" if you just have to give them back?
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    I've never heard of this. I think would have kept it. I have a pretty serious case of what my friends call only child syndrome because I don't share well!

    What a weird position to put you in though. I hosted my best friend's shower and was super happy to give away prizes to the game winners and would never have thought to ask them to hand them back over.
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    I have been to literally countless wedding and baby showers and never seen this practice. Very strange and I agree. What is the point if they just go to the bride? Plus also, if they're not exactly what she registed for, why would she want them?
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    I'd add that I don't think any of my shower guests were asked to give up the prize. Like I said, someone mentioned it in passing, like "oh hey...I should just give this to Meegles". I honestly sort of thought it just meant they didn't like the prize.

    When I realized how many of the prizes actually ended up with me, I thought "wait a minute..." and then got cranky that I don't need random magnets and recipe cards and crap like that.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-prizes-end-up-going-to-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2aa282b-55fd-4e36-9c43-d7c4ad3d5200Post:ac280e67-ce2c-4721-a57b-0e36c2de4d2e">Re: Shower prizes end up going to bride?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hadn't seen it until I went to my own family shower in NE (I live in MI) and someone mentioned it. I didn't think much about it, but when I got home, I realized that most of the prizes had been stuck in with the other gifts I received. As the bride, I thought it was lame. Mostly because I don't want/need any of the totchkes that they were giving out as prizes. But secondly, because <font color="#ff0000"><strong>they're prizes! The person that wins should get to keep them</strong>.
    </font>Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]

    I agree!  I've never been to a shower and had this happen before.  It's not the norm around here.  Why even call them prizes?
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    I think it's more of an older tradition. All of the women in my family 45ish and older think that prizes are for the bride (or mother if it's a baby shower).
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    The only time I've ever heard of that was someone else posting about it here.  

    That seems so stupid, ESPECIALLY since it was items similar to ones the bride registered for but not the acual items.  So now, she'll get the salt and pepper shakers that she registered for AND another random pair that she probably can't even return.  
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    Awkward much?  Why not just give these "prizes" to the bride in a form of a gift instead of making those individuals who won the "prize" have to give it back?

    Why are some people just so strange and dumb?


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    I've been to one bridal shower where the prizes were actually for the bride and I thought it was really weird.  At my shower the people who actually won got the prize.
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    What the hell is the point of the "prize" if you have to give it back?  How could you be so cheap as not to buy something fun like candy or Bath & Body Works stuff for prizes for the guests to KEEP?!!!
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    I will say that at the showers I've seen this done, the bride gets a prize AND the winner gets a prize. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-prizes-end-up-going-to-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2aa282b-55fd-4e36-9c43-d7c4ad3d5200Post:34dc870a-fd70-474d-b8cb-0082dc33e0a0">Re: Shower prizes end up going to bride?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I will say that at the showers I've seen this done, the bride gets a prize AND the winner gets a prize. 
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

    That's definitely less weird.
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    The prizes at the baby shower were weird gag gifts, like an emergency diaper changing kit or something like that.  It wasn't even real stuff, though, they were more like toys or something.  The "winners" didn't get anything. 
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    I think this is a regional or older woman thing.  I'm from the midwest, and this is common at showers where the first game winner is older (after one says to give her prize to the bride/mom to be, everyone follows suit).  Knowing this, for my friend's baby shower I got prizes for the person who won the game (girly stuff) and then a prize that "they had won for the mom to be" (pacifiers, gift card to a grab and go restaurant, etc.). 
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    I cheated fair and square by printing the registry and memorizing it to win my magnet set playing Shower bingo.

    I have never heard of this before.  Were the prizes really nice?

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    My mom's three best friends put on my shower and they did this.  All the women there seemed to know the deal. I didn't plan my shower of course or know that they were going to do this, but apparently it was common since they all knew what to do.  They kind of treated it like a game with themselves, like someone would win the game and open the gift and say "gosh, thank you so much for the beautiful salt and pepper shakers, but I really think the bride could use this more! (hahaha- funny joke!)" and then they gave it to me.  

    I hadn't been to many showers before mine so I didn't think much of it since they all seemed to know the drill.  Maybe it is regional?
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    I've been to both baby and bridal showers in the midwest (St. Louis and Chicago area) -- and all of them had older ladies in attendance -- and I haven't run into this. I think it might be a little more specific than just midwest in general.
    Lizzie
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-prizes-end-up-going-to-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2aa282b-55fd-4e36-9c43-d7c4ad3d5200Post:03706fe0-9217-4278-b723-d417a65fe24c">Re: Shower prizes end up going to bride?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it's more of an older tradition. All of the women in my family 45ish and older think that prizes are for the bride (or mother if it's a baby shower).
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

    I'm turning 43 in June, been to countless bridal and baby showers, hosted a few, and I've never heard of this "older" tradition.
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    Now I'm hoping the ladies throwing my church shower don't do this to me.
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    Yeah.  I'm born and raised in Chicago and I have never heard of this. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-prizes-end-up-going-to-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e2aa282b-55fd-4e36-9c43-d7c4ad3d5200Post:4e05d07d-4a8e-4df2-b951-7883e8019788">Re: Shower prizes end up going to bride?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My mom's three best friends put on my shower and they did this.  All the women there seemed to know the deal. I didn't plan my shower of course or know that they were going to do this, but apparently it was common since they all knew what to do.  They kind of treated it like a game with themselves, like someone would win the game and open the gift and say <strong>"gosh, thank you so much for the beautiful salt and pepper shakers, but I really think the bride could use this more! (hahaha- funny joke!)" and then they gave it to me. </strong>  I hadn't been to many showers before mine so I didn't think much of it since they all seemed to know the drill.  Maybe it is regional?
    Posted by AJG456[/QUOTE]
    This makes way more sense (an is much nicer) then the host taking you aside and saying you have to give up what you won. Only because the person who won offered it up immediately after receiving it. <div>
    </div><div>I had two showers and played games with prizes at both. At one everyone got to keep the prize they won. At the other the ladies did what is in the bolded part. I thanked them as soon as they handed it over. At the time I thought they were being generous by not keeping the prize. I didn't know this is what people did at showers.</div>
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    Very very weird. Any time I've won prizes at a bridal or baby shower they always came home with me.
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    Very weird.  The bride is getting enough stuff (shower gifts), she doesn't need the prizes from the games.
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