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Wedding Etiquette Forum
CFM102012
member
Shower prizes end up going to bride?
Okay, this was a while ago but it's always bugged me. I was at a bridal shower for a friend. A lot of the shower prizes were little things (cake server, salt and pepper shakers, napkin rings) that while not on the brides registry, were similar to things that were. I was really excited when I won the cake server as I had started getting into baking cakes and pies and needed one. At the end of the shower the bride's mom or MIL (whichever was hosting I don't remember) whispered that the prizes were supposed to be given to the bride. I thought it was weird. She was registered for similar stuff and I had won that prize. I didn't want to look like a petty brat so I didn't aruge it and gave up the cake server. Is this common for shower prizes to be given to the bride at the end of the shower no matter who won the games?
This is gonna be a P&R since I have to go to work but I'll be back later this evening.
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Re: Shower prizes end up going to bride?
"Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
Way cooler." - anna.oskar
Every shower I've ever been to the prizes are candles or bath salts or some other girly-generic gift and the winner took it home.
Books read in 2012: 21/50
As the bride, I thought it was lame. Mostly because I don't want/need any of the totchkes that they were giving out as prizes. But secondly, because they're prizes! The person that wins should get to keep them.
www.detroitwedding.weebly.com
ETA - Apparently PPs have heard of this, but I've never seen it. I think I would be embarrassed if my mom or FMIL tried to do that at my shower.
[QUOTE]This is so weird. What's the point of even giving them out then?
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]
This is my thought. Why make them "prizes" if you just have to give them back?
What a weird position to put you in though. I hosted my best friend's shower and was super happy to give away prizes to the game winners and would never have thought to ask them to hand them back over.
When I realized how many of the prizes actually ended up with me, I thought "wait a minute..." and then got cranky that I don't need random magnets and recipe cards and crap like that.
www.detroitwedding.weebly.com
[QUOTE]I hadn't seen it until I went to my own family shower in NE (I live in MI) and someone mentioned it. I didn't think much about it, but when I got home, I realized that most of the prizes had been stuck in with the other gifts I received. As the bride, I thought it was lame. Mostly because I don't want/need any of the totchkes that they were giving out as prizes. But secondly, because <font color="#ff0000"><strong>they're prizes! The person that wins should get to keep them</strong>.
</font>Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]
I agree! I've never been to a shower and had this happen before. It's not the norm around here. Why even call them prizes?
Awkward much? Why not just give these "prizes" to the bride in a form of a gift instead of making those individuals who won the "prize" have to give it back?
Why are some people just so strange and dumb?
[QUOTE]I will say that at the showers I've seen this done, the bride gets a prize AND the winner gets a prize.
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]
That's definitely less weird.
"Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
Way cooler." - anna.oskar
I have never heard of this before. Were the prizes really nice?
[QUOTE]I think it's more of an older tradition. All of the women in my family 45ish and older think that prizes are for the bride (or mother if it's a baby shower).
Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]
I'm turning 43 in June, been to countless bridal and baby showers, hosted a few, and I've never heard of this "older" tradition.
[QUOTE]My mom's three best friends put on my shower and they did this. All the women there seemed to know the deal. I didn't plan my shower of course or know that they were going to do this, but apparently it was common since they all knew what to do. They kind of treated it like a game with themselves, like someone would win the game and open the gift and say <strong>"gosh, thank you so much for the beautiful salt and pepper shakers, but I really think the bride could use this more! (hahaha- funny joke!)" and then they gave it to me. </strong> I hadn't been to many showers before mine so I didn't think much of it since they all seemed to know the drill. Maybe it is regional?
Posted by AJG456[/QUOTE]
This makes way more sense (an is much nicer) then the host taking you aside and saying you have to give up what you won. Only because the person who won offered it up immediately after receiving it. <div>
</div><div>I had two showers and played games with prizes at both. At one everyone got to keep the prize they won. At the other the ladies did what is in the bolded part. I thanked them as soon as they handed it over. At the time I thought they were being generous by not keeping the prize. I didn't know this is what people did at showers.</div>