Are you inviting people from work?

vansfiancee

The only person I'm inviting from work is my partner.  We have to limit the guest list, and with our close friends and family, we are just about at our max.  Initially, I wanted to invite some acquaintances, but then I didn't want any hurt feelings. I think it's best to just eliminate coworkers.  The only reason I'm inviting my partner is because we are more like friends than coworkers.

CSTK1910

i read some good advice awhile ago...blame your fiance. something along the lines of "fiance and i decided we would only have friends we both know at our special day." or some variation of that.  that way you can invite coworkers who are actually friends as well , but you have a good reason not to invite the rest.

my fiance and i wish we could pull this off...but alas we work together. in fact that's where we met.

beowolfe03

I'm not inviting co-workers. There are about 10 people in the office altogether, and if I invited one, I'd really have to invite all of them. Of course, I've been invited to 3 of their weddings, so I do feel a little bad, but I'm not close with any of them. If we see each other outside of work at the store or something, we say hi and move on. It was a hard decision to make, and I think if I was having a bigger wedding I might invite them anyway, but considering we're keeping it to family/close friends and expecting only about 110-123 in all, I'm trying to avoid resorting to "guests by obligation". I think it keeps things more intimate and personal when you're surrounded by people you truly love

iamjustagirlinlove

Great advise everyone!  I feel much better about this now!  

lipovace

At my work, we have about 100 nurses on my floor, and the brides just put the invite in the breakroom, open ended for everyone.  Usually no one goes, but it gives everyone the opportunity to feel welcomed and important.  Everyone knows you are doing that to be friendly, and knows it isn't necessary to go.... it works out really nice.

dfrank82

My firm is 20 attorneys and I am inviting all of them.  I spend so much time at work that I feel as though they are my second family.  Obviously I am closer to some than others, but couldn't draw the line.  My fiance is also inviting about the same amount of people from his work so although it will be a big wedding, we are really excited for it!

Good luck with your situation.  You can't please everyone so do what feels right for you.

nlfeguer

I'm struggling with this too!  I'm a teacher and work in a school with about 20 other teachers.  There are about 6 of us that are very close, we have girls nights and do dinners together.  However, I've worked at most grade levels and have gotten closer to many others, though they're not friends outside of work.  Some of my co-workers, whom I maybe wouldn't have invited, will possibly be hurt if I don't have an open invitation to all. 

My wedding will be an hour or so away and some of my closer friends have said that the people I don't want there won't come anyway so I may as well invite them to avoid hurt feelings.  I don't know...it's such a tough call!!

chellimph

We had the same issue!  We work together and many of our friends are from work.  He has a pretty senior position and has a lot of direct reports (some of which are my friends) SOOO...we decided, friends and his direct reports will be invited.  Which actually makes quite a few folks who will be invited...which makes it a little awkward that others aren't. But what can you do?  We work at a large organization and can not invite everyone?!

rwashington

I work in a large office with about 80 people and I am also the AVON lady for many other floors in my building. I have been in this department for 10 years so I've had the opprotunity to socialize with many of my coworkers. I  am sending an invitation to my current group which has about 15 employees and mailing invites to about 5 of those whom I definitely want to the wedding. I am also  inviting  another  or 8 people(by mail)  I want there,however I do not like some of them (including my own group) and cant afford to invite the rest of them. I stopped talking about the wedding about 4 months ago and only mention it when asked. In 10 years you can imagine I have shared many facets of my life and a lot of them have been supportive of me during the good and not so good times. 

angeliqueS917

I am in a wierd situation.  I just left my job of 3 years because I graduated from college and got a job elsewhere. Some people I worked with prior have said they are expecting an invite.. but I don't think I will ever see them again any way, so should i still invite them?  By the time the big day comes I will have been at the new job for 3 months.  My big question is, do I invite any of my new co-workers? alot know that I am planning a wedding.  I'm very confused.  And I don't want to make enemies at the new place.

jerelyn26

 A wedding is a special day to spend with those you love and truly care about. The people you invite should mean something to you, and vice versa. Your invite list should not be done for obligations, but in wanting to share your special day and to have lasting memories. Invite the co-workers that are important to you, socialize with outside of the office. I think people realize you can not invite everyone, budgets just don't always allow.
 Be careful with whom you share your details with at work to avoid disappointments...

alpesklevy

I'm not sure, but I think these two would be worth inviting, they may not go, but I think if you're unsure you should invite.

katysbug05

I work in a department where it's just me and my boss but I'm not inviting him. While he's a great guy and we get along very well, I'd never hang out with him outside of work. It'd just be awkward.

On the other hand, my fiance's entire 10 person office is invited (with sig. others) because we see them socially and they're practically a family to us. I think it really just depends on the relationship, we found one fit but not the other.

We are also battling a headcount problem, so picking my boss might mean not picking a close friend. That's one more consideration to think about. It made the choice easy for me 

sleepnbeeutie

I sort of have the same situation.  I work for a court system (and go to law school, WOOHOO) and I am inviting 1 girl from the old court I worked at, and just recently thought about inviting this 1 girl from my current court.  The girl from my current court does not get along with the girl from the other court.  The new girl (Melissa) and I are similar in age and she is getting married 6 months before me and I am not sure if I am being invited to her wedding or not, but we talk about our lives and sometimes go out during our lunch hour together and our desks are next to each other (while everyone else in the court is 50+).  I don't think it would be strange if I were to invite her.  Similarly to you, if you feel comfortable talking with them about your lives, and sharing non-work things with them and feel like you'd enjoy their company than you should invite them.  I don't think everyone expects to be invited and they should realize that you are closer to certain people than others.  It just comes down to whether or not you want to share your special day with them and if they will be good company for you.

happygirl38

I've been struggling with this same question.  There's about 40 people in my dept, which is split into 3 separate groups and I have good friends in each group.  My group is the largest (and also the most dysfunctional group I've ever worked with).  We're having a private ceremony so I don't have to worry about having acquaintances at the very personal part.  Our reception will be a big casual bbq, very low-cost, so we could afford to have everyone there IF they'd all show up.  One of my coworkers (a friend I will invite) said that she invited everyone when she got married; the people she really didn't want there didn't come.  Frankly because the feeling is mutual.  So I was gonna go that route but then I realized, if the feeling is mutual, they don't need the invite in the first place!!  Still, I don't want to make the invited coworkers uncomfortable.  So I go back and forth with all of these little arguments... 

brookelynpaisley

Kennel corn

eaglenightshade

if it is a long way to travel then don't invite them, I am getting married in my home town and have a very close knit team of girls so they are all attending my hen night and evening reception.

If you are worried about people from home that are not invited to the ceremony why not consider a night of cocktails on your return?

you wont feel bad for missing people and they don't have to feel bad for not making the trip

mrsthoser

Definitely depends on your situation. If you're not really friendly with them outside of work then I wouldn't. It may sound odd, but I'm not inviting anyone from my current job, only from my last one. I started my new job just a few months ago (post-engagement) and don't feel like I kow them well enough (even my bosses) to invite them to the wedding. However, I was at my old job before I even met my FI (worked there about 3-1/2 yrs) and was still there when I got engaged. They were all there for me when my Fi and I got together, broke up for a bit, and now for the engagement, and the 2 girls I worked w/ are my BMs but 1 I know from school and the other through Mary Kay as well. I think it's safe to say that we've all remained fairly close at my old job - heck I texted my ex-boss to wish her a happy birthday and she responded by saying thanks and asking how my new job was going.

mrsb112010

I am pretty close with the 4 people that work around me so of course I want them at my wedding but there is a girl on the other side of us that I and pretty much everyone else can't stand who just assumes she is invited! I can't imagine her being there on my special day, it would ruin it. So the other day she was talking about something and says "but we're still going to your wedding right?" What do I do?!?

STRESSED

wow21

I am only inviting the co-workers that are my friends and the ones that I get along with. That is all. I really think when it comes down to it. It is my wedding and I only want the people that I enjoy being with.

smw42408

I say invite them.  I work in a restaurant and we are all for the most part pretty close.  The way that  I am looking at it is, if I would socialize with this person outside of work, I am inviting them.  There are a few that aren't getting invited, and if they are upset, oh well.  It is afterall, my day and I don't feel that I should invite someone that I don't want to, especially if I wouldn't hang out outside of work.

crfloyd

I am having the same type of problems!  I work in a spa with 9 other people and they will all be doing hair and make up for my wedding.  I only hang out with 2 of them outside of work, and don't have it in my budget to have 18 extra guests.  On top of this, they all seem to think that they are automatically invited.  I have no idea what to do!!!

mrsb112010

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate the confirmation on my thoughts. It's true, it is OUR day and we shouldn't have to invite anyone we aren't close with. After all it is supposed to be an intimate event with our loved ones there to help celebrate. Anyone who is offended will have to understand that weddings are expensive and we can't invite everyone. They'll get over it eventually.
* To CRFLOYD- If your coworkers say something about their invite, just tell them it's going to be a small wedding...hopefully they'll get the hint.

Karavicious

I'm inviting people from work. My office consists of about 20 people and I'm inviting 5 of them. If the others get pissy about not being invited, too bad. Those are the ones I want there, and it's my wedding.

rlsmith1

I think that you have to be really careful.  It is hard to keep home and work seperate, inviting those from work will open you up for alot of different things especially if you forget someone.  I am not even telling people at work until just before so there are no hard feelings about not getting invited.

IsaH

I'm in the same situation. My wedding isnt until next year but everyone at work keeps asking if they are invited. I work in a large business & feel bad saying no to everyone. My venue only holds 225 people & with both of our family & friends were right at our max limit.
To make things worse this gal at work is also getting married this month and has passed out  invitations to everyone, which will make me look like a party pooper when its my turn to send invitations. How do I break the news nicely?

sylvestergwen

Yes, do invite co-workers to your wedding.  They celebrated a milestone in your career.  At least give co-workers the choice to say Yes or No.  Its the courtesy of asking them to share your day with you.

I have only known my co-workers for just six months and we never socialize outside of work, but with my constant chatter about wedding details they now have a choice to accept or decline.

Gwen

marybrockington

For your situation, I agree that you don't need to invite them, I am inviting some people like my boss and some people I talk to frequently at my office. I work with my sister and cousin as well so obviously they are in the wedding so its a bit complicated for me. Also the office plans to throw me a wedding shower so I need to have at least thank you cards for when that comes. Everyone is definitely different.

RachAisle

I'm having this issue too. Two of my co-workers are bridesmaids, three others I wanted to invite, but I'm on the fence about one person whose office is next to mine and also my boss. I don't think my boss is expecting an invite or would be that offended, but the other person I know would. I'd gotten to the point where I was going to add them to the list, but now we're having to tighten our budget and I don't know.

JCCH111

I am torn also, One of my co-workers ACCIDENTLY emailed me the "office shower invite" so i know they are throwing me a bridal shower, i have about 25 co-workers whom im not that close to (never done anything outside of work) primarily bc im planning a wedding and have no time BUT i have also only been working there 6 months.  At first it was a given i wasnt going to invite anyone bc its too many people, but now i feel bad bc i know they are throwing me a shower, I was thinking maybe just inviting my boss, but i like how someone wrote they may be relived NOT to be invited... HELP!