Unwanted guests: family dogs

L-Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:00c9c712-5822-4410-a65d-f96db626a2c2">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs : What is this preconceived notion that she has talked with the owner? Based on exactly what the OP said, she is talking about taking unilateral action. I don't read things into posts that aren't specifically stated. The OP never said she had spoken to the owner. You may want to assume that she did but she didn't say that.
Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

No one is assuming anything but you. You keep repeating the same nonsense advice about taking "unilateral" action and "talking to the owner first". You're giving an answer to a question that isn't being asked.  
I'm just going to assume you're drunk....unilaterally.

tortis

Enough with the "unilateral." Using your "logic," which by the way only makes sense to you, this girl and her fiance are going to have to have a sit down talk about every aspect of the wedding details. "Oh sorry FI, we can't just CHOOSE to have yellow flowers, that's unilateral action and because it's at your grandmother's house, that isn't permitted." Does she have to get dress approval too? Does she have to ask if guests can wear heels in fear of ruining the grass???

Exhausting.

twinkie757

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:e25dad7f-3047-46f4-bc0f-96998e5f5016">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
[QUOTE]  God this is mind-numbing.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Couldn't agree more!

polichik

Lisa, I unilaterally suggest that you stop, take a deep breath, back out of the thread for a while, and CTFO. I feel like this has turned into an argument for the sake of arguing, and it's pretty ridiculous. Please just stop.

lapcan

Lisa8888 - you really like the word unilaterally don't you?

arv266

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:be6bb7b8-b9f9-468c-9934-1a996b0e684e">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
[QUOTE]Lisa please tell me you're kidding. If it is her job to pay for boarding should she pay for their hotel room too or traveling expenses? Just because it is her wedding does not mean she has to on all of the expenses involved with having these people around. Paying for food and drinks is reasonable, paying for boarding for dogs is not.
Posted by twinkie757[/QUOTE]


All this and more.

stacy&tige

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:8b2bdb8b-bffc-43f2-8305-074e9826a467">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
[QUOTE]I do think I'm making sense. The wedding is not taking place at a regular reception venue. If it was, then I would absolutedly say no dogs. But the norm is for family to bring their dogs to this place. This is a totally different situation. The bride can not unilaterally decide this. Its not her house and she isn't paying for it. She has to speak to the owner about this. Perhaps the owner didn't intend on having family bring their dogs and there is no issue. However, with the history of family bringing up to 20 dogs there, this is something the bride must discuss with the owner and be prepared to work something out as she honestly can not dictate.
Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

Its not a family BBQ or reunion...its a freaking WEDDING!!! That kinda seems like a dog free event too me. Why have all the responses I've read from you today made me want to seriously slap you upside the head?

OP...just spread it word of mouth that this is a pet-free affair. I doubt anyone will care. No one wants to chase are their dogs in fancy clothes. And I would not pay for a sitter. If they end up bringing their dogs its not really your problem (same with children)...they need to be responsible for ensuring they remain under control.

arv266

Since we have UNILATERALLY digressed from answering the original OP question, let me take a stab at this....

This is a tricky one because its not your family home (its FI's grandparents) and it is hard to dictate what the homeowner can do in their own home.  Do grams and gramps have a dog?  If they do, could FI ever so gently, ever so nicely ask that they not come out and play for your wedding?  We're all assuming that common sense dictates that dogs (as much as we love them) are not people, and not invited to weddings.  And we all know what happens when we assume.....

I'd spread it word of mouth that dogs are not invited to this event.  Should people, out of habit bring their dogs, it really would be their responsibility to have them secured for the event.  Again, we're assuming that most people would know the difference between a family get together and a wedding.

If members of your FI family are so used to bringing their dogs, you might want to get creative...A brief note to the dogs who are not invited, regretting that you could not invite them to the wedding, and enclosing a dog treat....

brilibby4

I'm late to this but Lisa you seem like a twatwaffle.  Chill!  You are wrong here.  Her question had nothing to do with asking the home owners.  If the home owners like children is she required to invite those to her wedding too, even if she doesn't want to?  You aren't making sense.  Also, I am fairly sure you are trying to use words that are outside of your vocabulary...definitely a way to ensure readers won't take your posts seriously.

OP I think word of mouth and a short note on your website will suffice.  Good luck!

kd.joseph

When my DH's daughter got married in NC at a private residence in the back yard our first thoughts were "we can take the dog".....uh, no! We hire a pet sitter for such things,even when we traveled for our own wedding once again we hired a pet sitter.

This is not hard. It's a wedding, not a down home shindig. People travel all the time and hire sitters/board their animals. This should be no different.

We love our pets, but understand not everyone does. And they sure shouldn't have to worry about this on their wedding day. Regardless of whether they are paying or not.

JaimiandJohn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-guests-family-dogs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e7611bfd-3c9f-484c-a751-346e6aafeadfPost:be6bb7b8-b9f9-468c-9934-1a996b0e684e">Re: Unwanted guests: family dogs</a>:
[QUOTE]Lisa please tell me you're kidding. If it is her job to pay for boarding should she pay for their hotel room too or traveling expenses? Just because it is her wedding does not mean she has to take on all of the expenses involved with having these people around. Paying for food and drinks is reasonable, paying for boarding for dogs is not.
Posted by twinkie757[/QUOTE]

I totally agree! Bringing a dog to a wedding is just crazy! 1. who wants all that barking while the ceremony is going on? 2. Who wants to deal with the dogs running around and fighting? 3. WHO WANTS A DOG HUMPING THEIR LEG (lol)  DURING THE RECEPTION  and 4. who wants to step in a pile of pee or pooh??? YUCK!  

ipen44

Maybe include a list of local doggie hotels just as you would a list of people hotels?  It sounds like this house is in a nice neighborhood and those usually have some pretty nice kennels.  This is subtly suggest, please consider a place for your animal. 

I am picturing the Brady Bunch where Tiger knocks over the whole cake table.  i am also an animal lover and considered having my dog as a ring bearer, but dealing with animals is unpredictable so he will be in the kennel with his siblings : )

kristinanddan

Do you have to stop typing all the time to check a thesaurus? In this thread you went with unilateral. What was it in the other dog thread - superfluous? Please stop trying to sound smart, it only has the opposite effect.


Random: This reminds me of how in 10th grade it somehow became my job to use the word plethora in every essay I wrote in English class.

Congdonington

Hi everyone,

First, thank you for all the feedback.

Secondly, let me answer some questions.

No, I have not spoken with the grandparents yet regarding this topic. I'm currently living in London and I won't see them again until September. A cousin is getting married at the house in August, which may or may not affect what we can and cannot do. So in September I want to sit down with them and go over the ground rules, including liability and insurance. Since they are allowing us to use this beautiful house, I want to go out of my way to let them I know I will do everything in my power to return it undamaged.

Money: Yes, my parents will be paying for most everything...the rentals, decorations, etc. We are not paying to use the house, but we did ask permission after we got engaged.

My own dogs will be staying at home with a pet-sitter. I love them dearly, but not everyone feels the same way about pets. And when you have large numbers of dogs, there can be flights, humpings, food stealing and other doggie no-nos (There were a few nasty fights over the 4th of July).

I am also looking for creative ways to deal with children. There are loads of new great-grand children now, so I was thinking about getting a sitter and setting up a designated play room in the house. Then, if parents want a break from their children, they can drop them off inside.

Since I don't trust family members not to bring their dogs, I want to make sure there is a backup plan. And if they do bring their dogs, I want to make sure they are kept in the house. I don't want to put Mike's grandpa in a position of dictating to everyone that no pets can come. But to be proactive and have a back-up plan ready, I think it might be wise to have a dog-sitter on hand too.

I will subtlety spread the word and post a little sentence about a dog-free day with recommendations for kennels and sitters.

If you have any other questions, please let me know. Thanks for all the suggestions and good laughs!