Destination wedding gift ettiquette

MrsMuq

We're attending a destination wedding (for everyone involved) about 2000 miles away for a friend from college. I'm in the bridal party. We are flying in early for the pre-wedding events and staying on location at the resort where the wedding will be held.

I was just wondering what etiquette rules one would normally follow when attending a destination wedding - do you give the same size wedding gift you would under normal circumstances or do you adjust it based on the travel expenditures?

jessicabessica

You give a gift within your budget based on how close you are to the couple.  While many people would feel uncomfortable showing up to a wedding empty-handed, it is always fine to not get a gift or to just give a card with your best wishes for the couple, especially if travel and other wedding-related expenses are already stretching your budget.

s-aries8990

Ditto crfb.

Give a gift that you can afford and are comfortable with. As you said, you are traveling far and spending money on accomodations, so take a realistic look at your finances and see what you can afford to gift.

Avion22

Give what you can afford and feel comfortable spending.  It's fine to wait until after the wedding to give a gift, as much as several months or a year.   This might give you a chance to save up for a more expensive gift, if this is what you want to do.

Also, you might consider pooling funds with other friends to get a more expensive gift.  My sister and I do this a lot (especially when traveling is involved).

Majide

Hmm, my boyfriend's sister had a destination wedding at an All-Inclusive resort.  I don't recall anyone bringing gifts.  I assume she either received gifts beforehand, or at the reception they had once they returned home.

Then again, there were maybe 20 of us at the wedding, so it was mostly close friends and family - if that maybe explains it.

AdeleDazeem

A destination wedding is always a trip for everyone when half the guest list travels, that's just a wedding. You give what can afford as a gift. That is always true destination wedding or not.

Sorcha77

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_destination-wedding-gift-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ea87b79d-b424-4643-8a45-d60f571c123ePost:ba7d7e20-369e-40cf-aa01-2ee0fdec6e32">Re:Destination wedding gift ettiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sure she wouldn't want you going into debt over a present.
Posted by BartenderBW[/QUOTE]

Truth. We're getting married in Vegas, and even though I would never expect gifts for my wedding anyway, I <em>definitely</em> don't expect anything since everyone is traveling to Vegas. I'm so very grateful they're spending money and vacation time to come to our wedding; I really don't expect anything.

Jen4948

You give a gift you can afford, just as for any other wedding.  If you can't afford as much due to travel costs, you give a less expensive one but still within your budget.

And as Retread states, send it in advance or after the wedding-don't bring it with you.