Upset About Attendance Rate

janedoe1113a

Warning: This is going to sound LJish

We invited 110 people to our wedding and only around 60-ish are coming.  I knew to expect a higher decline rate because of the amount of OOT guests we have, but almost a 50% decline rate is very sad.  It doesn't help that a lot of important people to us aren't coming either (neither set of my grandparents or my FI's grandparents). 

When I was looking at the seating chart, a good bit of the guest list is his friends.  I'm just really bummed that a lot of people aren't going to be there to celebrate with us.

I just kind of feel like we're spending all of this money for nothing. 

Please say something to get me out of this funk!  It's been bothering me for days.  Sorry for being whiney.

opalsky007

Sorry, I know how you feel. Our decline rate was 65% as a result of the holidays, the economy, OOT guests, you name it.

I missed having a lot of our friends there, but loved our small wedding. I think if all 125 people had showed up, it would have been exhausting and not nearly as much fun.

AlexiaANDRobert

We had 50 out of 160 decline.

I'm sorry. 

You're going to have an amazing time.  I agree with PPs, either upgrade some stuff, or just try to think of the money being saved.

Good luck!

goheels05

I'm sorry.  We had a 40% decline rate as well, but we were happy about coming under budget.  I promised myself I wouldn't care if people declined, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness when I'd get an RSVP "regret" from someone who I'm pretty sure didn't have anything better going on that weekend. 

Kati0105

We invited close to 200 and will have just around 120, so our acceptance rate is about the same.  FI and my mom have both expressed disappointment over the low acceptance rate but the way I see it is 120 people are taking time out of their busy lives and spending money to be there to see us get married.  I'm sad that my mom's parents won't be able to make the trip because I've always been very close to them, but otherwise I'm ok with it.

scoetto

We invited well over 100. 60 RSVP'd yes, and only 50 showed. But we had a great time regardless! A LOT of J's family was there, but we also live where his family does. All of my family guests were OOT. Not all could make it, but I am actually glad we had such a small guest list. It worked out well and was quite intimate

You'll be fine, baby!

bbyckes

This is something I grapple with too.  I hope everyone who says they're going to come ends up coming.  If not, we're going to have enough food for about 100 people and about 20 people in attendance.

fallbride1109

I totally understand.  The Tuesday before my wedding, my entire family in Houston (6 people) emailed and said they weren't coming. We also had other last minute cancellations. I did the whole, "why-are-we even-doing-this, no-one-cares-but-us, we've-spent-all-this-money-and-it's-all such-a-waste" pity dance.

But in the end, it was a wonderful day, the people that were there loved us and were so happy.  So don't let it get you down--it's normal, we've all been there, and we've all had wonderful wedding days in spite of it.

ETA:  Oh and because if the cancellations, we didn't meet the minimum and got to add 2 food stations and upgrade to the premium bar.  So that was nice, even though I still would have rather had the people there.

stina93446

Your budget can now be spread among fewer guests so you may be able to upgrade some things....yeah on luxury!

janedoe1113a

Thanks ladies!  I'm still a little bummed, but your comments definitely helped.  I guess I just need to look on the bright side.

pandasquishy

This was us exactly.  We had about a 45% decline rate and a good chunk of our guests were DHs fraternity brothers, who shelled out more to travel to our wedding as poor post college students than our own family.  It was really depressing to put the seating chart together, but once wedding day came I didn't even notice anything wrong.  It's going to be okay, I promise!

squirrly

We just sent our invites, and so far have only gotten declines back.  I mean, I know our parents and WP and all will be attending, but literally, the only official notices we've gotten are declines.  I just keep thinking about not having to spend so much on catering, alcohol, and CPs.  I'm disappointed people can't make it, but so far, they're all valid reasons. 

Keep your chin up and focus on the people who ARE coming.  And, remember, it gives you a whole bunch of people to get together with later and AW your pictures. 

andyandhillary

I am so sorry!  It's hard not to feel down about that but I agree with the PPs about saving money or upgrading. 

Honestly though, I am shocked at these decline rates.  I knew everyone says 20% (right?) but wow!  I was a little sad when I got a decline after I sent out my RSVPs from Andy's uncle...but he'll be teaching a class in Turkey.  That's legit. 

mandysmear

Just think of it as less donations needed for your wedding.  Maybe now you can take your obnoxious donation button off your hosted for FREE blog.

goheels05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_upset-attendance-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecaaa10e-4e4d-4fbd-b9fc-467cb7e72659Post:49ff1920-0f8e-44ea-9fc9-9645f2c86383">Re: Upset About Attendance Rate</a>:
[QUOTE]Just think of it as less donations needed for your wedding.  Maybe now you can take your obnoxious donation button off your hosted for FREE blog.
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

Rut roh!

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_upset-attendance-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecaaa10e-4e4d-4fbd-b9fc-467cb7e72659Post:49ff1920-0f8e-44ea-9fc9-9645f2c86383">Re: Upset About Attendance Rate</a>:
[QUOTE]Just think of it as less donations needed for your wedding.  Maybe now you can take your obnoxious donation button off your hosted for FREE blog.
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />

ZoeTheDog

My wedding is Labor Day weekend...should I be expecting a high decline rate??  Anyone get married on Labor Day/Memorial Day, etc? 

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_upset-attendance-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecaaa10e-4e4d-4fbd-b9fc-467cb7e72659Post:a8c0943b-7409-411f-a8f0-7c3b72162ece">Re: Upset About Attendance Rate</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is Labor Day weekend...should I be expecting a high decline rate??  Anyone get married on Labor Day/Memorial Day, etc? 
Posted by ZoeTheDog[/QUOTE]

I got married on Labor Day weekend.  We invited 160 and had 120 guests.  I think almost all of the ones that declined were out of state though.

ivystar57

Nice, Mandy.  haha!

I had about a 50% decline rate and that was fine by me.  Of course, I was terrified of 260 people showing up.

scoetto

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_upset-attendance-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecaaa10e-4e4d-4fbd-b9fc-467cb7e72659Post:49ff1920-0f8e-44ea-9fc9-9645f2c86383">Re: Upset About Attendance Rate</a>:
[QUOTE]Just think of it as less donations needed for your wedding.  Maybe now you can take your obnoxious donation button off your hosted for FREE blog.
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

Donations? Really? Why?

andyandhillary

Zoe, if you sent out STDs very early and gave people adequate time to make holiday plans then you could have high attendance.  If not, then you could have low attendance rate. 

kate51485

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_upset-attendance-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecaaa10e-4e4d-4fbd-b9fc-467cb7e72659Post:1fc32c61-9602-423f-8204-8a16ed1636b2">Re: Upset About Attendance Rate</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Upset About Attendance Rate : Donations? Really? Why?
Posted by scoetto[/QUOTE]

It's the burning question, Sco. 

scoetto

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_upset-attendance-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecaaa10e-4e4d-4fbd-b9fc-467cb7e72659Post:75bdfe60-d829-4b63-a132-1a60f5ac495e">Re: Upset About Attendance Rate</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Upset About Attendance Rate : It's the burning question, Sco. 
Posted by kate51485[/QUOTE]

Yikes. Stripes! Fruit striped gum!

AmoroAgain

WTF?!  Navy, why do you have a DONATE button on your blog!?  That's horseshit!  Get back here and splain yourself!

mandysmear

I have no idea why she has a donations button sco.  Probably to fund her wedding.  Since her blog is hosted by blogger for free I am pretty sure she's not paying to have it published...

ZoeTheDog

I wish I could see said blog at work...juicy stuff!

salt78

Oh my god. How have I never noticed that before?

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_upset-attendance-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecaaa10e-4e4d-4fbd-b9fc-467cb7e72659Post:55cb43dd-d5dd-46c1-9834-3dfc6aeedbd0">Re: Upset About Attendance Rate</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my god. How have I never noticed that before?
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Yeah. That.

scoetto

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_upset-attendance-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecaaa10e-4e4d-4fbd-b9fc-467cb7e72659Post:a0f19ea0-ee03-49e7-a288-0636169ad732">Re: Upset About Attendance Rate</a>:
[QUOTE]I have no idea why she has a donations button sco.  Probably to fund her wedding.  Since her blog is hosted by blogger for free I am pretty sure she's not paying to have it published...
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

Interesting...

kikibaby

I'm also a bit opposed ethically to the fact that you get free stuff in exchange for reviews. 

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_upset-attendance-rate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ecaaa10e-4e4d-4fbd-b9fc-467cb7e72659Post:debad67e-bd66-4c6b-ac4c-7049cb66f0f0">Re: Upset About Attendance Rate</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm also a bit opposed ethically to the fact that you get free stuff in exchange for reviews. 
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]


ME TOO.  Cause I've yet to see a blogger give a bad review of something they got for free.  Doesn't really seem unbiased now, does it?