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Wedding Etiquette Forum
sweetpea0911
member
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Check question
I got the new air mattress that I requested for Christmas, and had to give my room a bit more of a cleaning than it's had in awhile. While I was doing this, I came across a card and check from my cousin for my college graduation in May. The check was dated June 10th and was for $25. I don't need to, want to, or intend to cash the check. Cousin and I have spoken since June, most notably on Christmas, and the check and the fact that it has not been cashed has never been mentioned. Cousin and her husband just had a baby a few weeks ago, their first, and the pregnancy was a bit rough, especially near the end. I know that things are also a bit tight for them money-wise, especially with baby's added medical bills.
Here's the question: do I call Cousin and hubby to let them know I found the check and ask them what to do with it? I don't want them to feel as if they have to write a new check, or put a stop payment on the old one, or anything silly like that. I am leaning towards not saying anything, and just writing Void all over it before shredding it into millions of little pieces. What do you think?
***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
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Re: Check question
[QUOTE]I am the type who totally notices when someone doesn't cash my check and get all annoyed I can't balance my checkbook. I also feel really awkward asking people <strong>"So, ahh.. planning on going to a bank anytime.. cash my check... let my type A self balance her checkbook?</strong>" I also have friends who would never in a million years notice that their check was never cashed. So, if your cousin is an anal retentive type who would notice, tell her and let her know it will be a late deduction. If she is the type who wouldn't notice in a million years, shred away.<strong> Btw, did you send her a thank you note for the gift?</strong>
Posted by katelynbrian[/QUOTE]<div>
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The first bold part made me laugh, because while Cousin could probably go years without checking her bank statement vs checkbook, her husband checks the online statement verus the checkbook once a day. That statement is one he has made to almost every member of the family at least once in their lifetime together, which is why I was kind of surprised that nothing has ever been said.</div><div>
</div><div>The 2nd bold part - yes, I did =] I saw Cousin and husband a month later at a 4th of July party at another family member's house, and gave them the thank you/baby gift then.</div>
***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
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I'm leaning towards not saying anything at all. I don't know that an uncashed check of $25 from several months ago is on her mind, especially after just having a baby. Bringing it up and saying you're going to throw it away might "offend" them because you're "throwing away" their graduation gift to you or worse, sound like you're "feeling sorry" for them because you're aware money is tight with them right now.
I would just throw it out.
[QUOTE]I'm leaning towards not saying anything at all. I don't know that an uncashed check of $25 from several months ago is on her mind, especially after just having a baby. Bringing it up and saying you're going to throw it away might "offend" them because you're "throwing away" their graduation gift to you or worse, sound like you're "feeling sorry" for them because you're aware money is tight with them right now. I would just throw it out.
Posted by LisaChris2011[/QUOTE]
Agreed but I would shred it first. They probably have forgotten about it and have many more needs right now.