B list question

tecoya

How close to the actual wedding date is it okay to send out the invites to the B list?

Calypso1977

IMO, its never ok to do a B list.  period.

parker624

the same time you send out your A list invitations. 

"B list" does not mean people you send invites to after you get RSVP No from A listers.

"B list" means the people that you would be willing to cut if your venue only holds a certain number of people BEFORE YOU BOOK YOUR VENUE.
*EDITED*

See the difference?

LesPaul

B lists require only 48 hours notice.  That way all B list guests are well aware they are being brought in from the bench to fill chairs at the reception.

georgia_bride09

[QUOTE]the same time you send out your A list invitations.  "B list" does not mean people you send invites to after you get RSVP No from A listers. "B list" means the people that you would be willing to cut if your venue only holds a certain number of people. See the difference?
Posted by parker624[/QUOTE]

Are you being facetious? Because that advice is so wrong it hurts.


OP, just don't do a B list, and you don't have to know when to send out B list invites.

squirrly

Never.  Don't do a B list.  Make a guest list & plan for that list.  Invite the number you can afford to host and that will fit in your venue.  Count your RSVPs and enjoy your wedding.  Don't go for round two.

parker624

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_b-list-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:efe3bd9c-c9fb-4015-961a-dbd4bc50e2ccPost:3c89abaa-211f-4451-9b80-2f884172575b">Re: B list question</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you being facetious? Because that advice is so wrong it hurts. OP, just don't do a B list, and you don't have to know when to send out B list invites.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

no, that's how we did it.  My mom's 2nd cousins were our "B" list but obviously no one knew that except us planning the wedding.  We made sure to find a venue that could accomodate everyone, but on the chance that we couldn't those people would not have been invited to the wedding at all.  

Posters on this board always talk about if you are coming up to a budget "wall" you might have to cut guests to make it work.  That's who I assumed were the B listers; the people you would be willing to cut when you had to make those decisions. 

Obviously the B list would never know that they were the B list, as the OP is suggesting to send invites after she already sent them to her guests.  That is NEVER appropriate.

In my opinion it is appropriate to make a master guest list with everyone you'd ever want to be at your wedding, and then decide (before STDs or invites go out) if that list needs to be cut.

georgia_bride09

Okay. That's not how I read it. I read it as they'd be cut AFTER invites went out, and was thinking that the venue wouldn't have anything to do with it at that point.

parker624

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_b-list-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:efe3bd9c-c9fb-4015-961a-dbd4bc50e2ccPost:b26f7d4e-969b-4d5d-ac60-ea44acfb2c73">Re: B list question</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay. That's not how I read it. I read it as they'd be cut AFTER invites went out, and was thinking that the venue wouldn't have anything to do with it at that point.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

OMG no!  That is definitely not what I meant. 

Beachy730

I agree with not doing a B list.  But if you are set on doing one, just take a few things into consideration.  You should give your guests at least 4 weeks to respond.  If you send them out Sept 1st and the deadline is Sept. 15th for a wedding Sept. 18th  its gonna be a dead giveaway that they were a B list invite.  And you need to know when your final count is due to your reception site so that you have enough time to track down the missing RSVP's in time for your final count.  Also, make sure that nobody on your B list has any contact with anyone on your A list to know that they already went out weeks ago.  It gets very tricky to send B list invites in enough time without people knowing they were a B list.  That is why I and most people recommend not doing them. 

I received a B list invite to a wedding over a text message, after the bride had made it very clear through facebook when her invites had went out, 5 weeks before that.  So I politely declined for that exact reason.

Belle2Be

4-6 weeks

M&R7111

I plan to send out invited to people we had to cut once the people we are obligated to invite send their regrets. (yes, they will decline, I'm not getting into the story)  It's like a rolling invite list - only I won't send out invites within the 4-week mark.