Wedding Etiquette Forum

Help needed!

So I know there is a lot of posts out here just like this one, but Ive searched them all and feel like none of them perfectly capture the amount of awkwardness of the situation.  Please give me any advice!

My fiances family friend is invited to the wedding and received a save the date.  She is recently widowed (within the last 6 months) and we were going to give her plus one when it came time to send out real invites in june.  She just emailed my fiance asking if her sons were invited in which case we said no, as much as we wish we could invite all of our family and friends, weve already finalized the guest list and we hope to still see her there (keep in mind her sons are grown men who my fiance hasnt seen or heard from in 10 years so its not people we feel bad about not inviting). 

thought that would end it. nope. she emailed back "Is it a church wedding?  Can I just have them come for the wedding and not the reception?" Aghh.  so awkward.  Do i tell her well, you get a plus one on the official invite so you can choose one of your sons? Or stick to my guns and somehow to her no (i mean, how awkward that she shows up with ppl to the ceremony who arent invited to the reception).  Or do i cave completely and invite her sons and their plus ones (which really isnt an option, we're really tight on money!) 

Its just frustrating when theres so many people closer to us that we cut and now  we have this plaguing us. 

sorry for the long post but i would appreciate an etiquette suggestions you may have!

Re: Help needed!

  • If space is an issue in your ceremony venue, then you need to tell her no as politely as possible.
  • Does she know she's getting a plus one?  If you're sure she is and she doesn't know, I would have your FI mention that she will be invited with a guest of her choosing, and ignore the church question and leave it to her to figure out.  It just seems like it would be awkward for them to then not be invited to the reception while their mom is, and I think you definitely do not need to invite them.
  • bongebonge member
    First Comment
    Will she be comfortable coming alone? Do you have room at all for the extra people? Maybe she is having a hard time with the death of her husband & want her children there for comfort? Personally i would accomodate them & give her a +2 but that is just me. 

    I would let her know she is allowed to bring ONE guest if that is the route you go. 
    230 image Invited
    154 image Are ready to party
    56 image Missing out
    20 image Can't find the mailbox (tick tock)

    RSVP Date: 6/1/2012
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