Background.... I'm a (young) teacher with a group of former students with whom I am/was close (Yes, teachers have favorites). I tried not to let this favoritism impact my relationships in a professional setting (i.e. the classroom) but, now that they aren't my students any more, I have taken a few out to eat while they're home from college and keep in touch with them as well. This is particularly true of three young ladies who just graduated this last spring. Many of these students have expressed interest in coming to my wedding in April, either in person or on Facebook (again, they are former students, so I can be FB friends with them). I should also mention that I no longer work at the school from where all these students matriculated. With all that said, here's the deal....
We're doing a formal, sit-down reception at $140/head. I don't want to invite/pay for all these former students, especially those that stayed in touch for a little while but not-so-much lately (though they still expressed an interest in coming to my wedding). So, my dilemma is, who is invited? There are three options as we see it (though I'd be excited to hear others):
1. Iinvite only those former students with whom I have remained close and risk the backlash of the others (and their parents... .ugh, parents....). This would probably be only five young ladies, three with whom I am incredibly close (have been to family parties, keep in touch with them, take them out when they are home, etc) and two who were part of that core group while they were in-school, but with whom I have not been close since they graduated (basically, I can't separate the group of five without facing severe repercussions). However, there were other hangers-on, shall we say, to that group who would not receive an invite and who would probably be hurt by it.
2. (please hold your boos and hisses until the end) Send all these former students a mass email indicating basically that I would love for them to be there (which is the truth), but explain the costs (they're between the ages of 17-20, so they don't understand the craziness of wedding pricing) and say that they are welcome to come to the ceremony, grab a bite to eat somewhere, and then stop by the reception to boogy the night away, but that I cannot extend a formal invitation to them for the full reception. I realize that this is normally frowned upon to have a tiered reception/guest list for the reception, but considering the circumstance, it is still an option to consider.... Maybe.
3. The last option would just be to write 'em all off and say none of them are invited to keep things fair, though I'd be sad to not have those three girls mentioned above invited.
So, thoughts?