Wedding Etiquette Forum

Question

I am thinking of getting all of my girls t-shirts and pearl necklaces for bridal party gifts. However, I wanted to get them something and then something for me so I could match them. Would it be wrong if we all had the same pearl necklace?
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Re: Question

  • I wouldn't want a t-shirt as a gift if I was in someone's bridal party.  For gifts, you're supposed to shop for them like it's their birthday.  Also, don't expect them to wear the necklaces on the wedding day if it's a gift.
  • No, but I really wouldn't consider gifts to be worn for the wedding as a gift. 

    Personally I would suggest getting them a gift that you would get them for their birthday or Christmas. 
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  • It's a bridal party shirt (like one of the ones that say "bridesmaid"). I am paying for the wedding along with my fiance so being like it's their birthday may be a little out of the question. The shirt and necklace for each one of my 5 girls would come out to about 60-90 bucks per girl. I think that if the girls see the necklace they would get the hint to wear it the next day.
  • I'd rather have the same pearl necklace than a shirt that says "bridesmaid."  Just saying.
    panther
  • They would be getting both, it's not a one or the other type deal and the shirts would be personalized.

  • edited January 2012
    Oh I see... so they would still only be able to wear the shirts... once.

    I get it, you think it's cute.  But I have a tote bag from a wedding I was in, it has my name and "usherette" on it in their wedding colors.  The only reason I still have it is because I feel bad about throwing it away.  Although after typing this post, I feel stupid for still having it.  I'll toss it tonight when I get home.
    panther
  • Well I guess what I was saying was not very clear? 

    A shirt that says BRIDESMAID and a pearl necklace that should be worn as part of their outfit of the day doesn't count as a gift. 

    You could get the girl's something a little more personal for that amount of money. 

    AATB you are wrong I rock the BM shirt everyday. 
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  • no one wants a tshirt that says bridesmaid....and not everyone would want pearls.

    If you want them all to wear the pearls, get them....but get something individualized too!

    Shop around...I got my girls clutches from a Coach outlet and used a coupon...it was like $25....I also got one a celtic necklace from O.com....for pretty cheap and another I got a mickey watch ......shopping like it is their birthday doesn't need to be expensive.....look around, use sales and coupons, etc.
  • I spent $50 on the gifts for my bridesmaids, and managed to get them items that were not for use in/related to the wedding.  Take whatever you were going to spend and spend it on something for THEM, not for the wedding.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:fbad2a74-34fa-454a-ae86-d9b0645a477f">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's a bridal party shirt (like one of the ones that say "bridesmaid"). I am paying for the wedding along with my fiance so being like it's their birthday may be a little out of the question. The shirt and necklace for each one of my 5 girls would come out to about 60-90 bucks per girl. <strong>I think that if the girls see the necklace they would get the hint to wear it the next day.
    </strong>Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]


    If you're buying them something to wear for your wedding, then it is a gift for <strong>you</strong>, not <strong>them.

    </strong>You don't have to go nuts spending a ton of money on each girl. Even if you give each one a $25 gift card to her favorite store, you're spending less than half of what you're planning to ($60-$90 for a t-shirt and a necklace? Seriously?), and it's something that would actually be a (Very nice) gift to them, not a prop for your wedding photos.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:803c16fd-caad-4651-bfc4-b5b71788dd6e">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wait - you can't "birthday shop" with $60 - $90 for each girl?  What do you normally get your friends for their birthdays, cars?
    Posted by Holly4212011[/QUOTE]

    <div>Cars or ponies depends on my mood that day </div>
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  • Only if you name it Sugar Plum and feed it only Sugar Plums for it's entire life. 
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  • I didn't want to get a tote bag like that because of that reason. I don't want them to just toss it after having it a few years. I figured the necklace would be something that could be used again, just like the dress they all picked (I actually didn't pick their dresses at all).

    I see what you are all saying that it may be rude or tacky to ask such a thing, but in recent weddings I've been to, all of the girls have been given jewelry as a thank you to be worn day of ceremony. They have all been very nice, simple and tasteful.
  • Wtf is a sugar plum, anyway.  Is it a real thing?  lol
    panther
  • Hope your in a great mood on my birthday sparent.  I would like one pony and one car please.  And, I will even be appreciative!
  • If the tees having anything on them pertaining to your wedding (the word bridesmaid, your wedding date, something reflective of your theme, etc...) don't waste your money.  No one wants a gift like that, even if they tell you they think it's a great idea.  What are they going to do with them when the wedding is over?  I'd only wear a tee like that to clean the bathtub, or the gutters, maybe for camping. 

    The necklaces are fine as long as they are real jewellery and not cheap junk.  Just understand that they really aren't a gift so much as a costume piece for the bridesmaid uniform.  Find a gift for each woman as an individual.  If one loves coffee, get her a pound of really good beans.  Another a reader, an Amazon card for Kindle purchases would be awesome.  Another loves crafting, am organizer for supplies would be loved. 
  • Does this mean I do not get the pony?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:4d20a310-9d3d-4512-b858-fb72593c214a">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't want to get a tote bag like that because of that reason. I don't want them to just toss it after having it a few years. I figured the necklace would be something that could be used again, just like the dress they all picked (I actually didn't pick their dresses at all). I see what you are all saying that it may be rude or tacky to ask such a thing, but in recent weddings I've been to, all of the girls have been given jewelry as a thank you to be worn day of ceremony. They have all been very nice, simple and tasteful.
    Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]

    So...the thing is, the tee-shirt is right up the same alley as the tote bag.

    And the pearls?  What not get everyone some jewelry that reflects them, instead? I doubt all the girls would love a string of pearls.  Perhaps some hardly wear jewelry, or another has a ring you could match, or a third just dislikes pearls.  Just because everyone else has been doing it, doesn't make it right.  And how is something to be worn in the ceremony a "thank-you?"  Its part of their uniform at that point.

    FWIW, I really don't think bridesmaid jewelry matters that much.  I've been in weddings where the bride specified only the color (i.e., silver or gold), and everything turned out just fine.
  • I hate pearls, and I would (and have) thrown away anything that has my wedding job printed on it. Maybe your girls would all genuinely like a bridesmaid t-shirt and a pearl necklace (*giggle*) but if you'd spent that on me you'd be wasting your money.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:4d20a310-9d3d-4512-b858-fb72593c214a">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't want to get a tote bag like that because of that reason.<strong> I don't want them to just toss it after having it a few years.</strong> I figured the necklace would be something that could be used again, just like the dress they all picked (I actually didn't pick their dresses at all). I see what you are all saying that it may be rude or tacky to ask such a thing, but in recent weddings I've been to, all of the girls have been given jewelry as a thank you to be worn day of ceremony. They have all been very nice, simple and tasteful.
    Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I've had the bag like, six months.  Years?  lol

    I'm actually someone who doesn't mind wedding day jewelry as part of a wedding day gift.  I've worn bridesmaid jewelry after a wedding, and I've seen my sisters and girlfriends wear the jewelry I bought them.  But I'm a jewelry person.  I like jewelry.  If you give me jewelry I'll love it and wear it and won't care.

    Seriously though?  Skip the shirts.  They're dumb.  They're not even going to get to wear the shirts to anywhere anyone would really see them, anyway.  Like, where - doing their hair and makeup for two hours?  Don't waste your money. 

    And if you are set on jewelry maybe get each bridesmaid something that would suit her individual tastes (if the matching won't work).  I got my girls jewelry, some nice chocolates and VS gift cards.  Cha-ching.
    panther
  • You've all ripped me to shreads.

    I am trying to do something that is afforable for me and something that they would actually enjoy.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:2e95f6b3-ef34-434d-8442-86216a8beb1d">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]You've all ripped me to shreads. I am trying to do something that is afforable for me and something that they would actually enjoy.
    Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]

    And we've given you answers that actually cost less than what you propose, and suggested you take their individual preferences into account.  So that they can, you know, enjoy the gift.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:43acee31-db4b-4a58-96c9-07503016a43f">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wtf is a sugar plum, anyway.  Is it a real thing?  lol
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    <div>I have no clue. I guess Holly can feed it children from the NutCracker</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:2e95f6b3-ef34-434d-8442-86216a8beb1d">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]You've all ripped me to shreads. I am trying to do something that is afforable for me and <strong>something that they would actually enjoy.</strong>
    Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]

    Okay, so, don't get the shirts!
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:65484ef8-69fd-42b7-9477-af33793b1105">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question : Your budget is $60-$90 a girl.  You can get AWESOME presents that are individual to them for that price.
    Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]


    THIS X 1000!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:2e95f6b3-ef34-434d-8442-86216a8beb1d">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]You've all ripped me to shreads. I am trying to do something that is afforable for me and something that they would actually enjoy.
    Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]

    Nobody is ripping you to shreds. We're just trying to explain that you could spend even less than the $60-$90 that you're planning for each girl and end up with gifts that are much better than a t-shirt and a necklace that they may not like.
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  • Meg, I am not speaking about you  particullarly, you've been really nice about the whole thing. There are others that have taken my whole idea and completely ripped it to shreds.

    I guess I am back to the drawing board... good thing I have 9 months until my big day.
  • Look on Etsy 
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  • You seriously need to chill.  Nobody is ripping anybody.

    Would you really want a shirt that says BRIDESMAID on it?
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:2e95f6b3-ef34-434d-8442-86216a8beb1d">Re: Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]You've all ripped me to shreads. I am trying to do something that is afforable for me and something that they would actually enjoy.
    Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]

    Are they pearls from the dollar store or something?

    Because most decent pearls cost 100 bucks. You can find a birthday like gift for 1/4 of that.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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