Question

sparent2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:871f3567-c331-4f74-9341-0948aec6d11f">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question : But what do I feed it during months when there is no Nutcracker? 
Posted by Holly4212011[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha I got nothing... just store children for the upcoming year. Like hay </div>

lyndausvi

Ask yourself how often would you wear a 'bridesmaid' t-shirt?  Really, how often?   To me it's just a waste of good money on a photo op only you would really care about.  not much of a gift now is it?

While I did not give wedding jewelry I'm not offended by the practice either.   That said, I've NEVER worn wedding jewelry I've ever been given after the wedding.  Never.   They were always pieces that matched my BM attire, but not my everyday life.   That is why I personally didn't go that route.  Why waste my money on items that will more than likely sit in someone's drawer after the fact?

FYI - do people still wear pearls?  I have a strand Mikimoto pearls that was bought in Japan that I never wear.  I feel bad, but it's just not my style.  So it would be a waste on me. I would snoop around to see if they might already have a strand.

Simply Fated

You dont want to get the girls tote bags because you don't want them to toss them... what do you think they're going to do with the tshirts? Pearls aren't everyones style. Everyone is a individual and should be shopped for as such. You have 9 months... plenty of time to decide the best gifts. GL!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I love wearing pearls, lynda!  I have a string of Tiffany pearls, and some vintage pearls of my great-grandmother's that I love.  They class the shiit out of some of my boring, plain jane outfits.  I also have some freshwater pearls too.  Love, love, love them.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:5b8ae6b1-5627-4098-88b9-cd86a0d829e2">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I love wearing pearls, lynda!  I have a string of Tiffany pearls, and some vintage pearls of my great-grandmother's that I love.  They class the shiit out of some of my boring, plain jane outfits.  I also have some freshwater pearls too.  Love, love, love them.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

<div>That's cool.  I feel bad mine just sit in a box.   </div>

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:31a98263-cb0e-4050-9659-87d0b75e817b">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question : That's cool.  I feel bad mine just sit in a box.   
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

I googled Mikimoto pearls and drooled :)

Don't feel bad, if they're not your style then they're not your style.  Even though I adore jewelry there some things I'm not really into wearing.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:565c3f2a-812c-4df9-89ac-61700a7942c8">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question : I googled Mikimoto pearls and drooled :) Don't feel bad, if they're not your style then they're not your style.  Even though I adore jewelry there some things I'm not really into wearing.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

<div>they were my 21st b-day gift from my parents.  They were living in Tokyo at the time.</div>

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:f4c1bc83-aa66-40fd-b76d-bd54fa765fdd">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question : they were my 21st b-day gift from my parents.  They were living in Tokyo at the time.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]


That's an awesome gift - I can see why you'd feel bad though :(

mica178

I have a MOH shirt.  I haven't ever worn it.  Even on the morning of the wedding when I was MOH, since it was a T and couldn't be pulled over my head.  During morning prep, everyone wore button downs.

I love pearls.  I have really nice pearls.  I also have more "normal" pearls.  I wouldn't want or need a cheap strand of pearls.  Don't waste $50 on junky pearls.  Find something that is meant to cost about $50 that is worth keeping for your wedding party gifts.

Oh, and sugar plums are real.  They are petit four sized "candies" that are made of different dried fruits.  I don't think anyone eats them anymore.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:65484ef8-69fd-42b7-9477-af33793b1105">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question : Your budget is $60-$90 a girl.  You can get AWESOME presents that are individual to them for that price.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly. 

Get them the pearls and the a gift card to their favorite store or restaurant. It doesn't have to be a huge gift card 25-30 dollars would be nice.</div>

RamonaFlowers

OP, I gave you advice: your idea isn't a gift for your girls, it's a gift for "you" (Since you want the girls to use them for your wedding photos), so how about instead of flushing $60-$90 down the drain for a necklace they might not ever wear again, and a t-shirt they will definitely not ever wear again, get them each a gift card to their favorite store or restaurant. For what you're planning on spending, you can easily find individual gifts for each girl.

FTR: I love pearls. DH and I have an unspoken tradition of him buying my a piece of pearl jewelry whenever we go to Florida, and I would love to have a strand of real pearls (I currently own quite a few fake strands, lol) ... but I get that they aren't for everybody ... and I'd rather receive ones that wear picked out with me and my taste in mind, than ones that you picked out for everybody because they went nice with the BM dress.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:6d9ae257-9cdd-4f54-b8e3-4ac7c8eb0ee9">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]You seriously need to chill.  Nobody is ripping anybody. <strong>Would you really want a shirt that says BRIDESMAID on it?
</strong>Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

So I did the bridal party tees (don't judge, I knew it was a waste of money, totally for my own enjoyment, and didn't count it as part of the gift, :-D)  and even H and I only wore our "Bride" and "Groom" shirts at the Rehearsal (which was when we gave them to everyone) and on the plane ride to our honeymoon (Hellllllo free drinks).  They have since been packed up in a "wedding memories" box.  I fully expected my friends to throw them away and/or only wear it to work out.  So as long as you're realistic about it and DON"T count it as part of the gift, go for it.

For the actual gift take these girls' advice and get your friends something not wedding related that they'll actually like.  I love pearls, but I have all the pearls I need (a nice strand and a more interesting tear-drop necklace) so a plain strand of cheap pearls is just gonna sit in a drawer.  Any wedding jewelry, for that matter, would just sit in a drawer because I have a few really nice pieces that I circulate and they're the only ones I wear.  If one of your friends loves jewelry like AATB then go for it, ger HER jewelry that fits her style.  Get everyone else stuff that fits their own interests.  (FTR, I did like a PP and got adorable Coach wristlets on clearance at the outlet.  My girls loved them; I also bought one for myself)

KatePlusNate04

OP no one ripped you at all. We are giving constructive feedback so you CAN get the girls something they will actually enjoy. TBH, I would much prefer a $50 gift card to a favorite store than what you're intending to give them. Gift cards get a bad rep sometimes, but frankly, I love shopping and want to shop for myself, so I'd rather get a GC to a place I enjoy than a monogrammed BM tee and pearls, which I will never wear.

Unless you know for a fact every girl is a pearl-lover, it is no longer a gift for her and is now a gift for YOU for YOUR wedding. And nobody I have ever met actually wears BM shirts outside of the wedding day, and as Mica pointed out, maybe not even then. I think your heart is in the right place, so don't be offended and actually listen to the advice given because you have received lots of good opinions.

ootmother2

Listen, ladies with pearls already.  WEAR THEM!  Even if it's just to bed once or twice a week.  They need your body oils to stay luminous.  Ishityounot.

And OP, ditto the others.  Give your attendants something personal and not fake pearls.  Because at $90, you're only going to be able to get fake or very small, lesser quality ones, even in the jewelry districts.

FL

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I did not know that oot!  I'll have to bust out great-grandmother's strand this week

tyleet87

I know all of my girls own jewelry so I got them a really nice looking jewelry box as part of their gift.

I nix the BM shirt idea as well. But at least they might have a new shirt to sleep in if you do get it for them.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:2afabd3d-715d-4e79-803e-e324af15937a">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I did not know that oot!  I'll have to bust out great-grandmother's strand this week :)
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

and she will smile down when you do ;)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I got one of those Bride t-shirts with my wedding date for free from Vistaprint. And I forgot to wear it to the spa the day before the wedding. ME. THE BRIDE. I never even wore it. (I also forgot our toasting flutes, so maybe I just suck at weddings.)

ggirl2001

Yeah, the only wedding jewelry I've worn again is the tiffany's ring my sister gave me. But she did not get it for me to wear for the wedding. I was her MOH and it was a special gift for me.

Skip the t-shirts definitely. Buy them jewelry if you want, but make sure to personalize it to each girl, not your wedding. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:2e95f6b3-ef34-434d-8442-86216a8beb1d">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]You've all ripped me to shreads. I am trying to do something that is afforable for me and something that they would actually enjoy.
Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]
You've stated you have a $60-$90 budget per bridesmaid. You could easily get them something they'd enjoy for that amount. The point everyone is trying to make is that you should get them something they'd actually enjoy, not something that is a prop for your wedding.

Are you really this dense?

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:2e95f6b3-ef34-434d-8442-86216a8beb1d">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]You've all ripped me to shreads. I am trying to do something that is afforable for me and something that they would actually enjoy.
Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]
Telling you the truth =/= ripping you to shreds. 

Frankly, your gifts kind of suck.  Wedding themed gifts aren't gifts at all, and a wedding tshirt is just as useless as a wedding tote bag.  If you're trying to do something they would actually enjoy, <em>shop for them like it's their birthday</em>.  Just like everyone has said.  You said you are spending $60-90 on these shirts and necklaces.  Take the same amount of money and buy individual gifts for your friends, not matchy-matchy wedding themed presents. 

bridetobe71412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:05222aa3-a91a-4a77-a340-99a1975078d2">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question : I'm getting all my BM's button-downs MAYBE with their first initial monogrammed, but nothing that says bridesmaid or anything. But we all love monogrammed crap, so I don't feel bad about it. And it's not technically a part of their gift, just something that I shamelessly want for a photo op.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

I MAY be doing the same thing too. Where are you looking for yours?

DramaGeek

I have so many necklaces that I never wear but feel guilty getting rid of.  Friends gave them as a bridal party "gift" with the intention that the necklaces be worn for the wedding.  I am a jewelry whore.  I probably have close to $2000 in necklaces, all my taste.  The necklaces my friends gave me?  Not my taste, at all.  Thus the reason they are never worn.  It was a total waste of my friends' money, and I feel bad about that.

If you know every single BM will love and wear and cherish a cheap strand of pearls, go for it.  But I'm guessing that your BMs are not clones of each other and therefore have different tastes, hobbies and interests.  Do yourself and them a favor - save your money and buy something they'll actually like, which will save them the guilt of never using the gift you worked so hard to buy.

amymaysa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-28?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f87c9b8f-1aff-4773-855d-6eeb37007137Post:2e95f6b3-ef34-434d-8442-86216a8beb1d">Re: Question</a>:
[QUOTE]You've all ripped me to shreads. I am trying to do something that is afforable for me and something that they would actually enjoy.
Posted by chrismiss1025[/QUOTE]

No one is saying don't get anything that is out of your budget. What is being suggested is scrap the idea you have use that budegted money for items as if you were shopping for their birthday.
Why spend money on things they will most likely never wear again (t-shirt especially)?