What tackier when it comes to the food.

handheld

My Fi wants to do a buffett he likes the idea of more options for our guest. Generally speaking I don't mind this, however there is a problem. The venue we have chosen doesnt have enough space in the room for the dance floor and the food. The event director explained that with most weddings one of the sets of doors is open and the buffett is out side it. I think its horribly tacky for our guests to leave the room for their food and then return. I would prefer to do a plated dinner. The trouble with this is we have to know what each guest wants if we want to offer more then one option. This is something you would include on your RSVP card if they hadn't already been printed (we recieved a discount for ordering them at the same time as the save the dates) Our soloution to this problem was to have everybody have the chicken however my mom says that is also tacky. So here are our three options: 

1. Buffet with guests having to leave room and return with food. 

2. Everyone eats the same meal (chicken so that anyone who doesn't eat red meat will be apeased) 

3. We make a seperate card to include with the RSVP cards that read chicken or steak. 

I think three is the least tacky although maybe its odd to have to have it on seperate cards?

J&K10910

My preference would go 3, 1, then 2.  I don't like the idea of everyone eating the same meal.  Having a separate card would be fine, but be prepared for people to forget and having to call people.

Can you have the buffet set up on the dance floor and removed right after dinner?

ootmother2

I hate buffet so I vote 3

MyUserName1

J&K for the win!  I like #4.  

handheld

Im not entirely sure, however the event coordinator kept trying to assure me that "many weddings have done this" so I dont think so :-/

J&K10910

Well, frankly, it would be less work for them to set it up outside the room.  So, even if putting it on the dance floor IS an option, they're not likely to tell you that unless you ask.

And asking certainly will not hurt you.  IMO, that would be the best option.  You're going to end up calling a lot of people if it's on a separate card, making everyone eat the same meal sucks, and while not the end of the world, getting food outside the room isn't convenient and you obviously don't love the idea.

lyndausvi

tacky is being thrown around and I don't think that correct. None of your options are tacky, just not really universal. 

I've attended many option #3 wedding without issue.

Option #1 would be my next choice.  Not really a fan of buffets, but they are far from being tacky.

I have a problem with 1 dish only entrees.  

I had a duo of filet and crabcake.  Non-red meat people got 2 crab cakes.   If you liked red meat you got 2 files.    If you didn't like shellfish or red-meat then you got the veggie meal.

Options are always the way to go.  My preference is to have a buffet with options than a non-buffet without options.

Loopyseven

I also wondered about setting the buffet up on the dance floor and then taking it down right after dinner.  I went to a Christmas party where the buffet spread was in the lobby/hall just outside the room the seating was in.  It wasn't ideal, but it wasn't awful either.  As long as the food is good and not cold by the time I get back to my table, I don't really care where I have to walk for it.  

I'd feel better about just giving everyone the same meal if it was more of a duet plate with like small pieces of chicken and steak on the same plate with a starch and a side for instance.

Loopyseven

Or - what Lynda said.

samantha24p

I've been to a wedding where the buffet was set up in another room. It wasn't a big deal, but I prefer #3.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-tackier-when-it-comes-to-the-food?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fb7b6d85-fd25-4d5e-8df9-bcee3910d8a3Post:bd1ce765-9f6e-4614-af7f-55edff2aaee2">Re: What tackier when it comes to the food.</a>:
[QUOTE]Or - what Lynda said.
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]

<div>:)</div><div>
</div>

afeliz79

Buffet outside is definitely not tacky. My vote is 1,3,2. 2 being the worst idea. Last wedding I went to where I didn't have a choice for meal or sides I ended up eating 3 rolls and no other food. There were definitely enough rolls to go around by the way, I didn't deprive anyone.

Avion22

I don't see a problem with having the food set up in the hall.  I've seen this, and it's really no big deal.  

I would ask you caterer how they feel about buffet vs. plated meals.  Mine told me that the food usually turns out much better if it's on a buffet line because it can be kept at a better temperature and in sauces so it doesn't dry out.  Plated meals usually get cold, sauces congeal, meats dry out, etc.  And people get to pick exactly what they want/don't want.  And honestly, some of the best catered meals I've had have been from a buffet -- plated meals almost always disappoint me.

lyradimer

As a vegetarian I would have a very hard time with choice #2. Even if you don't come from a circle that includes many vegetarians, I would include that as an option for people. It really sucks, like a pp said, eating a meal of rolls, or in my experience, carrots and potatoes.

saratogamelanie

Number 3, for sure. 

jessicabessica

I like the option that lynda suggested of having two proteins on everyone's plate plus a vegetarian option.  If you want a buffet, though, I don't think guests having to leave the room would be bad.  We looked at some venues that would have had that set up for a buffet, and they all had logical ways for guests to walk through the buffet area and make it feel connected to the reception room.

ETA: Not the same thing, but our bar was set up right outside the ballroom, by the escort card table.  I think it worked out fine.

hoffse

I've seen buffets in a different room a lot, and I actually really like it.  It makes a ton of sense when you don't have a staging area for the cocktail hour and then a different room you walk into for the dinner.  If it's all in one room and the buffet is there too, people just look at it longingly wishing it would open.  The only issue I've ever seen was when the room they put the food in was tiny.   Larger rooms/hallways/etc are great if it's big enough to accommodate the flow of people.

Plated is fine as long as you do something on RSVP cards for people to pick... but I'm really with your fiance on this one.  We're doing a buffet so we don't have to worry about it.  We are doing things that most people we know will like, with plenty of vegetarian sides, one of which is basically enough to be its own entree.  People can just get what they want in the proportion they want, and that makes all sorts of sense to me when you're designating the menu.  It's kind of like hosting a party at your house - have you ever plated peoples meals for them?  Or do you let them take what they want in the amounts they want?

TheVirginians

No option is tacky. What do you want to do?

I prefer number two, a plated dinner, and serve everyone the same thing. When you invite people to dinner at your house, you don't usually give them a choice do you?

FutureMrsMDJahnke

At our venue they set the buffet up in the "garden court" which is a separate room from the ballroom (a couple steps away, it is where the cocktail hour is held). I never thought this was tacky! It is a really classy and popular ballroom, so I imagine if it really was tacky or frowned upon they would not do it...

Habs2Hart

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-tackier-when-it-comes-to-the-food?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fb7b6d85-fd25-4d5e-8df9-bcee3910d8a3Post:451f62e5-a666-41a5-84ef-93a60f7d41d9">Re: What tackier when it comes to the food.</a>:
[QUOTE]No option is tacky. What do you want to do? I prefer number two, a plated dinner, and serve everyone the same thing. <strong>When you invite people to dinner at your house, you don't usually give them a choice do you?
</strong>Posted by va4ryans[/QUOTE]

No, but I sure as hell make sure it's something that everyone can eat!

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-tackier-when-it-comes-to-the-food?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fb7b6d85-fd25-4d5e-8df9-bcee3910d8a3Post:451f62e5-a666-41a5-84ef-93a60f7d41d9">Re: What tackier when it comes to the food.</a>:
[QUOTE]No option is tacky. What do you want to do? I prefer number two, a plated dinner, and serve everyone the same thing. When you invite people to dinner at your house, you don't usually give them a choice do you?
Posted by va4ryans[/QUOTE]

<div>Actually, yes we do.  It's hard to find 10 people who all eat the same thing.  So we always make sure there is a little variety in case someone doesn't like the 'main entree'.</div>

lcatterton

My cousin had the buffet line outside of the main reception room and I didn't think twice about it. It definitely was not tacky. Actually, my fiance and I were one of the first to go through the line and he dropped his entire plate of food. Thankfully, since the buffet line was outside the room, only me and him and my sister even knew that it happened. It was cleaned up by the staff before anyone else noticed, but if the food were on the dance floor, everyone would have been staring! Haha. Silly fiance!!

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-tackier-when-it-comes-to-the-food?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fb7b6d85-fd25-4d5e-8df9-bcee3910d8a3Post:451f62e5-a666-41a5-84ef-93a60f7d41d9">Re: What tackier when it comes to the food.</a>:
[QUOTE]No option is tacky. What do you want to do? I prefer number two, a plated dinner, and serve everyone the same thing. <strong>When you invite people to dinner at your house, you don't usually give them a choice do you?</strong>
Posted by va4ryans[/QUOTE]

I, like others, actually do.  Or at least make enough food that someone that doesn't like the main dish can put together a substantial meal from sides, apps, etc.  Plus, if I'm close enough to invite you over for dinner, I'm close enough that if I don't know that you're allergic to mushrooms, I'm comfortable asking you a week beforehand.  And I've never invited 200 people over for dinner either, so there's that.  Accomodating 7-10 people with one meal is far easier than accomodating 50, 100, 200+ people.

Maggie0829

I have been to many weddings where they had buffets and the buffet was served away from the dining area.  I didn't even think twice about it.  I got up, got my food, walked back to my seat and ate.  I never once thought, "Well that was rude of them to make me get up and walk 10-20 feet to get my food.  How dare they think that would be ok."

Honestly, I think that as long as the food is amazingly good then I doubt your guests will pitch a fit over having to get up and walk a few feet into another room to get it.

MrsKathyC

Our buffet was set up in the room next to ours.  It was not a problem.

kaos16

I went to a wedding recently where the buffet was in the next room, it wasn't an issue at all.  I may be in the minority on this, but I LOVE buffets.  I like being able to have a little bit of whatever I want.  My vote is for #1 by far.

Ali092011

Our buffet will be set up in the hallway right outside the reception room. It actually makes things much smoother--guests enter through one archway, go through the line, and re-enter the room through the doorway on the other side. FI and I are actually the farthest away from the food; everyone else has to walk no further than they'd probably walk from the living room to the kitchen of their own home.

I think as long as the food is in the next room, or really close, and there are no stairs or major obstacles in the way, you're fine. Honestly, if you're having the wedding at an established venue and this is how they normally do things, don't overthink it. Let them do what they do best. I wouldn't change the whole food plan around the food being set up in the other room.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_what-tackier-when-it-comes-to-the-food?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fb7b6d85-fd25-4d5e-8df9-bcee3910d8a3Post:e10fcf42-6c5f-40e0-b6c1-ba66bb37f8fc">Re: What tackier when it comes to the food.</a>:
[QUOTE]I went to a wedding recently where the buffet was in the next room, it wasn't an issue at all.  <strong>I may be in the minority on this, but I LOVE buffets</strong>.  I like being able to have a little bit of whatever I want.  My vote is for #1 by far.
Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

I agree.  I prefer a bit of variety because I find it hard to decide on what I want to eat a month before I am going to eat it.  And I am also a pretty picky eater so buffets are generally better for me.

FutureMrsMDJahnke

In Response to Re:What tackier when it comes to the food.:[QUOTE]I went to a wedding recently where the buffet was in the next room, it wasn't an issue at all.nbsp; I may be in the minority on this, but I LOVE buffets.nbsp; I like being able to have a little bit of whatever I want.nbsp; My vote is for 1 by far. Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

I agree. I love buffets, too. Plated dinners make me kind of grumpy because I am so picky.

rlavach

I agree with others that it’s not that big of a deal to do it in the hallway. I’ve been to a few like this. I’ve also been to a few where the buffet was set up on the dance floor & then moved for dancing. Either way is good & not tacky. We were fortunate to have less guests than the room accommodated, so we could fit the buffet stations in the 4 corners & along the walls. I also love buffets because it gives so many more options, especially to those with dietary restrictions like myself.

lahlah12bk

I don't think that it's a problem to have the buffet in the hallway. I do, however, worry about the breakdown and set up of the dance floor buffet. If it can be neatly wheeled out, that's great. But if it requires taking apart chafing dishes and folding up tables, ect, you might not want your guests to see and hear that. Fwiw, I really prefer a plated meal. I'm a total klutz and walking with my plate in hand brings back cafeteria memories. My future husband, however, just loves them. He gets totally excited and will try everything! So neither is tacky, and I will bet your guests are as split as FI and I are as to preference. Edit: I can't type on the ipad