Invitation wording - military

manjermj

We are paying for our wedding but would like to include both of our parents names on the invitations. FI's dad is a retired Master Sergeant in the Marine Corps and FI is a 1st Lt. In the Marine Corps. Would this be correct? I can't find online wording for NCO enlisted Marines. Most wording suggestions are only for parents that are officers.

Mr. and Mrs. Gregory -------
and
Master Sergeant and Mrs. James ------
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children

Megan Justine -----
and
Timothy James ------
First Lieutenant, United States Marine Corps

Saturday, the twenty sixth of January
two thousand thirteen
at four o'clock in the evening

Saint ---- ------
### ----- Street
--------, Pennsylvania

OliveOilsMom

I think for retired military, you would not put their rank.  You should go over to the Military Brides  board and see what those ladies say. 

Meegles4

Check with military brides for sure, but I think it'd be

Master Sargeant (Ret.) and Mrs. John Smith

I think you have the groom's rank just fine. Also, it depends on the person if they want their rank listed as a retired person. My father is a retired military officer and doesn't use his rank. He has friends that do, though. Just ask your FIL what he'd prefer.

divinemsbee

I think you posted this on MB and didn't get responses. I didn't respond because I don't know the deal for NCOs. Your FI's rank is fine (that's how I did my FI's). From what I found when I was looking around, it's above/below a certain rank that changes it from in front of someone's name or if it isn't listed. 

From what I can find, the only thing that you could change about your in-laws names would be that it should be listed as:

Master Sergeant James -------- and Mrs. ----------

ETA: You don't need to put your FIL's branch or the fact that he's retired on there. And I agree with PP that you should go ahead and ask him if he prefers to use his rank socially. 

theelusive1

There is no reason to put any rank unless it is a military function.  a Dr would be the only thing you would address as such.
27 years later I have never addressed anything by rank. We have had 5 children married and lots of parties in that time.

It would be Mr and Mrs. John Doe.

If you insist on a rank it would be
Private and Mrs John Doe

manjermj

Thanks for the respones. No one on the MB commented that's why I posted it here. I think we're just going to exclude his dad's military rank.

While I know this isn't a "true" ettiquette book, it is the only one that addresses parents being enlisted personnel. http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/09/invitation-etiquette-religious-cultural-customs/#military-weddings
It says:

FATHER IS A NONCOMMISSIONED OFFICER OR ENLISTED MAN

Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Jay Forrester

So I'm going to go with that.

theelusive1

 I know this is not the end all be all for any subject but the people here have helped so much it is amazing.

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-wording-military?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff18fe0c-7d80-4760-b489-417484480ea6Post:12b3081a-a292-4796-a3ae-0a4c896fbbda">Re: Invitation wording - military</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the respones. No one on the MB commented that's why I posted it here. I think we're just going to exclude his dad's military rank. While I know this isn't a "true" ettiquette book, it is the only one that addresses parents being enlisted personnel. <a href="http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/09/invitation-etiquette-religious-cultural-customs/#military-weddings" rel="nofollow">http://blog.crane.com/2012/02/09/invitation-etiquette-religious-cultural-customs/#military-weddings</a> It says: FATHER IS A NONCOMMISSIONED OFFICER OR ENLISTED MAN Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Jay Forrester So I'm going to go with that.
Posted by manjermj[/QUOTE]

<div>As a retired NCO, this is what I have found when I have researched this.  I have only seen commissioned officers having their ranks listed.  Can't say I agree with that personally, but I don't write etiquette books.</div>

TheVirginians

Just got my new Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book today and she says:

1. High ranking officers should continue to use their title, even after retired. To me that means your dad would not use his title.
2. Lieutenant title is used for the groom with his branch under his name, no mention of first.

Example:

Mr. and Mrs. John Henry Doe
request....
Nicole Marie
...
Lieutenant Robert Herbert Smith
United States Army

Good luck and congrats! Just found out today that my FSIL might have to go to Lybia from his station in Europe. Boo!

manjermj

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-wording-military?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ff18fe0c-7d80-4760-b489-417484480ea6Post:3c30f5a2-c5da-4721-995f-48228a4dc4bf">Re: Invitation wording - military</a>:
[QUOTE]Just got my new Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book today and she says: 1. High ranking officers should continue to use their title, even after retired. To me that means your dad would not use his title. 2. Lieutenant title is used for the groom with his branch under his name, no mention of first. Example: Mr. and Mrs. John Henry Doe request.... Nicole Marie ... Lieutenant Robert Herbert Smith United States Army Good luck and congrats! Just found out today that my FSIL might have to go to Lybia from his station in Europe. Boo!
Posted by va4ryans[/QUOTE]

Thank you! Yep, decided to just use Mr. and Mrs. for the parents.
But for FI, I've read that the rank of Lieutenant should be like:
Timothy James -----
Lieutenant, United States Marine Corps
and that only Captain and above should be like you posted. That must be a change from previous etiquette??