Slut List

mbcdefg

I don't want to speak for Brad, but I don't think he's suggesting that girls deserve to be called a name because of what they wear. Rather, I think he's saying that bully girls may be jealous of another girl because of those things, and that becomes the reason behind the name-calling. Like if Bully Bertha makes fun of Rich Rosie because Rich Rosie's parents can afford ot buy her Uggs and Bully Bertha is jealous because her parents only buy her Payless shoes. Or something like that.

Angie550

mbcdefg...you have a nack for making up good names!

mbcdefg

I <3 Seabass

I think that we can all agree that there is *something* that initially sets Bully Bertha off, whether it be that her shoes weren't as nice, her car isn't as new, her BF isn't as hot...whatever and that would qualify as the "reason" Richie Rosie got called a slut. But what I don't think Brad necessarily gets is that the reason is not always evident. A bully isn't going to come up to you and say "You're such a slut because you have nicer shoes than me". They're gonna call you slut. And you may have no reason why.  So questioning is niece or her dad about why/how she made the slut list really isn't going to help the situation IMO, and that’s all I was trying to say.

brad1431

cheryl their reasoning could be you are new, or they are just being bitches, there is a reason, it doesnt mean it is a good reason, or a valid reason or anything, I guess the point I keep trying to make is there is always a reason, not matter what the reason, it exists.

Rosanna'n'Steve

yes there is always a reason...that we can all agree on.  stupid reasons, but definitely always a reason.  I hated being a teenager, thank god that stage is over!

cherylanddan0706

Ditto rosanna. Brad I honestly just don't want you to blame your niece, I'm very close to mine, but know how teenage girls can be and will always give her the benefit of the doubt

mbcdefg

Seems like we're all on the same page, then. Now let's all hold hands and sway for a while.

cvl105

koombaya

brad1431

yes cheryl, I am the same, my niece is my world, the point is there is always a reason for name calling.  My point is that I would want to know the reason, to see if there is something I need to or her parents need to address.   

neilly18

I think whether you made up the list or made the list it is good for parents to approach their children about it.  For instance if my Neice was on the list I would want to talk to her about it - not because I thought she did anything wrong or to blame her, but just to open up the dialogue.To people who think this is no big deal -- It is.  Whether or not it has been happening for years or not does not make it OK.  Unfortunately not everyone has the inner strength to get past something like this and it can be so so damaging almost like a self-fufilling prophecy. 

brad1431

neilly, good point, even if she wasnt on the list, it is a good opportunity for the parents to talk to their kids about bullying and being bullied

melissa82

To people who think this is no big deal -- It is. Whether or not it has been happening for years or not does not make it OK.Eh. I don't think it's OK, but I'm of the what doesn't kill you makes you stronger mindframe. I mean, I hear what you're saying, but if it affects someone that much then they had emotional/psychological issues to address prior to that.

cherylanddan0706

I hear what you're saying, but if it affects someone that much then they had emotional/psychological issues to address prior to that.I have to sort of disagree, but since its just from my experience I can only say it for me.  When I first moved here, I was pissed to move, but the moment I walked into my school I was a whore_I dont know why maybe because I was "different" or "new" and I didn't understand the workings of a very small town (I came from Brooklyn to a mile square town) but my first few weeks I would walk home and people would call me names as I was walking and a lot of people wouldn't be friends with me.  I happened to be lucky because I have always been good at making friends and was able to find a few that would be on my side.This followed me (for NO reason) till I graduated high school which really affected me, from fights to not wanting to go to school to doing badly and not being able to go to the community college that was in my county because it would be high school all over again (everyone went there with the exception of maybe 15 people in my 90 person grad class)I never had the high school experience that I "hear" about and I say it that way because I just always thought I was the only one that had this, I never saw it happening to others.  It hurt, I ventured on but I always think back to hs saying that I would never do anything to my child that would do what my experience did to me.  I was a perfectly fine happy kid, even took the move with a grain of salt.

jen629

Cheryl its a good thing you have all of us now;)

cherylanddan0706

LOL Jen, trust me once I got out of HS, I was like "woah, I went to school with Dbags!" I totally didn't get it, it was so difficult at the time, and being an crabby teenager didn't help!

melissa82

I'm sorry that happened to you. You're right, something that extreme is bound to affect anyone.

JeannineG122

I think I went to the same HS as cheryl. This may be why I have mostly male friends to this day.

alliecarrie41

*snort* kids are mean, period.  you were either one of those girls making the list, avoiding the list, or being bashed on the list, we all lived it, give me a break.  it's part of growing up.